The Space Between Us(18)

       
           



       

"You better," he said with his wonderful smile, and I knew he would be  ok. We both heard the honking from the driveway and I knew Reeve arrived  to drive us away from the town we had done most of our growing up in.  "I can't believe I let you and Reeve talk me into letting you take  yourselves to college. I'm supposed to go with you, move you in to your  dorm, say goodbye."

"We don't need a sappy goodbye, Dad. I don't want that. Just give me a  hug and tell me you'll miss me." I smiled at him, trying to ease the  situation that was turning out to be more painful than I anticipated. He  came up to me and wrapped his giant, warm, papa-bear arms around me. I  snuggled into his broad chest and breathed in his scent.

"I'm going to miss you," he whispered into my hair. I felt the familiar  pinch in my throat as I tried to keep from crying. "Don't be too crazy,  but have fun. Make sure you don't walk home alone after dark and  remember that you can always call me." I smiled at his sentiment,  worried about me always.

"I love you, Daddy," I said into his chest.

"I love you too, Charlie Bear." I felt him kiss the top of my head then  pull away and quickly turn from me to pick up my bags. I suspected he  was also trying to hide his face from me, afraid to show me how much it  hurt saying goodbye. I didn't need to see his face to know his pain,  because I was feeling it too. I turned to the door and pulled it open to  see Reeve sitting in her open driver's side window, half hanging out of  her car.

"Are you ready to party, Charlie?!" She yelled from where her car sat on  the street. My dad stepped out behind me and a panicked look crossed  her face. "I mean, uh, are you ready to study so hard we have no energy  to even think about parties?" She said with a smile, halfway trying to  cover what she said, but understood that it was a lost cause.

"Reeve, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, and then I'm going to  tell you what I told Charlie. Be careful. College is going to be  exciting and fun, but you have to be smart too. And you can always call  me if you need something."

"Thanks, Papa Bear," she said sweetly, sliding back down into her seat.  Reeve was the only other person on the planet that called my dad Papa  Bear and she's the only one I would allow it from. Reeve had both of her  parents, but that didn't stop my dad from treating her like one of his  own, and I loved him even more for it.

He loaded all my bags into the trunk of Reeve's SUV and then pulled me  into another hug, though this one was shorter and more playful.

"When is Asher getting there again?"

"He left yesterday. He'll be there to help us move in."

"Good. Make sure he watches out for you."

"Like I have to even ask him," I said rolling my eyes.

"I know. I know," he said and then paused. "I'm proud of you, Charlie. Have fun. And call your father."

"I will, Dad. I love you."

"I love you too."



The three-hour drive flew by, as any road trip with Reeve tended to do.  She either talked a million miles per hour, or sang along to some pop  song, and I was usually observing. It was dangerous to try and interrupt  her long rambling monologues. I've been steamrolled many times in the  past. So I usually just listened and nodded, giving her the occasional  "uh huh," when the time called for it. She was in her element when she  had someone who had no choice but to give her their undivided attention.  I didn't mind. She was my best friend. As much as she spoke, she  listened when I needed her to. And she understood me more than I was  willing to think about or examine.

When we finally pulled up to the university, I couldn't believe the  amount of cars that were all trying to fit down the exact same street  that we were headed. My first instinct was to regret not having my dad  come with us. This was stressful and I wished he was there to lead the  way so that I could just follow behind. I took a deep breath and readied  myself. This was life now. I was an adult. It was time to start taking  charge. I missed my dad.

All the apprehension I felt seemed to float away at the sight of Asher  on the side of the road. He was up the street a bit, standing on the  side of the road, between two orange construction cones. I watched from  our car, crawling along at a snail's pace, as a few cars tried to park  between the cones. He waved them away with a smile that clearly said,  "Move along". He even used his hand to wave one or two away. When he  spotted Reeve's SUV, he stepped a little farther into the street and  started waving at us. My smile grew even bigger.

"Wipe the grin off your face Charlie; it's making me gag."

"Come on, that's totally sweet," I said as I motioned towards him with my hands.                       
       
           



       

"Barf," she responded. I knew she was kidding. She loved Asher almost  just as much as I did. And even though she wouldn't admit it, his  devotion to me, at the moment, was benefiting her just as much as it was  me.

Once we finally made it to the reserved parking spot, Reeve expertly  slid her SUV into the space, executing a perfect parallel parking job. I  swung my door open and was met by Asher and his heart-stopping grin.

"Hey, Bit," he said. I beamed at his nickname for me. He came up to me  and I wrapped my arms around his neck as his hands slid around my waist.  "Like your personal parking spot?"

"Hmmm. How did you manage to pull it off? Why didn't anyone from the university make you leave?"

"I can be persuasive when I need to be," he said, smiling even bigger. I  knew then that whoever had tried to get him to leave was female and  he'd been able to charm them into looking past his irritatingly cute  behavior.

"Lucky me," I said and tipped up to kiss his lips. He came down to me,  because even if I stood on the very tip of my toes I would never be able  to reach his mouth, the height difference between us was at least a  foot. I thought back to a day when we were the same height, fond  memories of our childhood. Memories that were brushed away by the  sweetness of his kiss.

When he pulled away, he pointed towards a table set up with official people sitting behind it.

"You get your keys at that table over there. I will grab your bags."

Reeve and I headed towards the table and stood in line with other  students who were flanked by their parents. Did I rob my dad of some  rite of passage by coming alone? I felt a twinge of guilt looking at all  the parents helping their children get their keys. I also saw the tears  forming in their mother's eyes, and their dads patting their sons on  the back, trying to avoid an over-emotional goodbye. I asked my dad not  to come, in part, because I didn't want a sad goodbye. But I also didn't  want him here to witness all the men who still had their wives. Times  like these only served as reminders that my mother was no longer alive.  He didn't need that - not today.



"Perfect!" Reeve exclaimed as we made our way to the dorm room we'd been assigned. "Our room is right next to the bathroom!"

"Ugh," I remarked. "Our room is right next to the bathroom."

"What's wrong with that? It's great. We won't have to walk down a long  hall dripping wet and hiding in a towel. We can just run into our room."  As if he had been summoned by her words, a guy came out of the bathroom  wearing only a towel with beaded water still hanging on his chest. He  gave us a brief look and then threw a wink our way.

"Uh, why is there a half-naked guy on your floor?" I shrugged my  shoulders at Asher as he moved past me to put my bags on my bed.

"I'm sure he lives on this floor. He went into one of those rooms down  there," I said as I motioned down the hallway. I saw his shoulders  stiffen and watched as he slowly turned towards me.

"This is a co-ed floor?" I shrugged again, not wanting to say anything that would make him upset. "No shrugging, Bit. Words."

"I thought I mentioned the dorm was co-ed."

"Right. You said the dorm was co-ed, not the floor." He ran his hands  through his dark hair. He took in a deep breath and then let it out  slowly. I saw some of the tension leave his body, but he was still wound  tightly. I crossed the room to him and noticed Reeve slipping out of  the room to give us a moment.

"Ash, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think to distinguish between the two. I  wasn't trying to keep anything from you." I stood right next to him and  I put my hand out to touch his arm. At our contact he turned towards me  and I felt his hands come up to cradle my face.

"Why will you let total strangers live with you, but not me?"

My breath came out quickly, letting on that I was annoyed by his  question. It was a discussion we'd had all summer long. Asher  desperately wanted to share a dorm room, to live together our freshman  year of college. I desperately wanted to have a normal college  experience and share a dorm room with my best friend. Somehow, for some  reason, he took this as rejection and it made him upset. Every time he  brought it up, we argued. He eventually dropped the subject, but I  always felt it was more because he was tired of talking about it rather  than him being secure in our separation.