The Secret Affair(44)
“Look at me, Jillian.” Obeying his command, she held his gaze.
“I love you, whether you want me to or not and it’s too late for you to do anything about it.”
She drew in a deep breath and continued to ease him inside of her, not wanting to dwell on the problems love could cause. They would talk again later. But for now, this is what she wanted. This is what she needed. And when she had taken him to the hilt, she moved, riding him the way she’d been taught to ride years ago. From the look reflected in the depths of his eyes, she was giving him a ride he would remember for a long time.
She liked the view from up here. Staring down at him, seeing his expression change each time she shoved downward, taking him deeper. His nostrils flared. His breathing was choppy. Was that a little sweat breaking through on his brow?
Riding him felt good. Exhilarating. He definitely had the perfect body to be ridden. Hard, masculine and solid. She had her knees locked on each side of his strong thighs. Her inner muscles clenched, gripping him in a hold that had him groaning deep in his throat.
She loved the sound. Loved being in control. Loved him. The last thought sent her senses spiraling, and when he shouted her named and bucked his entire body upward, she felt his massive explosion. He drenched her insides with thick semen. And she used her muscles to squeeze out more.
Perspiration soaked her head, her face, their bodies...but she kept on riding. When another explosion hit him, she nearly jerked them both off the bed when she screamed in pleasure.
He held her tight and she held him and she wished she never had to let him go.
* * *
Aidan pushed a damp curl out of Jillian’s eyes. She was sprawled on top of him, breathing deeply. He figured she had earned the right to be exhausted. He’d never experienced anything so invigorating or stimulating in his entire life.
“Don’t ask me not to love you, Jillian,” he finally found the strength to say softly, and the words came straight from his heart. For the first time in his life, he’d told a woman he loved her and the woman wished that he didn’t.
When he felt her tears fall on his arm, he shifted their bodies so he could look at her. “Is me loving you that bad?”
She shook her head. “No. I know it should be what I want but the timing... There is so much I still have to do.”
“And you think I’d stop you from doing them?”
“No, but I’d stop myself. I’d lose focus. You would want to be with me and I would want to be with you. In the open. I know you don’t understand why I can’t do that, but I can’t.”
She was right, he didn’t understand. He believed she was all wrong about how Dillon and Pam, or the entire Westmoreland family, would handle them hooking up. He doubted it would be a big deal. But it didn’t matter what he thought. She thought otherwise and that’s what mattered.
“What if I agree to do what we’re doing now? I mean, keeping things between us a secret.”
She lifted her head. “You would agree to that, Aidan? I’m not talking about a few weeks or a few months. I’m talking about until I finish medical school. Could you really wait that long?”
That was a good question. Could he? Could he be around Jillian at family gatherings and pretend nothing was going on between them? And what about the physical distance between them? She wasn’t even sure what medical school she would attend. Her two top choices were Florida and New Orleans, both hundreds of miles away from Boston, Maine or North Carolina.