The Russian's Ultimatum(32)

Gregorio had a much more collaborative approach to design than Hugo. He   wanted to see his designers' ideas whether or not they fitted with his   'visions'.

Work had kept her sane.

She'd tried to push Pascha firmly from her mind. And she thought she'd succeeded.

Seeing him again, though, only went to prove that all she'd been doing was suppressing her emotions.

The constant numbness in her belly had evaporated, jumbled knots tightening in its place.

'How's your father doing?'

'Much better.' At least she could speak coherently. 'The medication he's   on is finally working and we've got him proper home help. It's making   all the difference.'

'And is James now pulling his weight?'

She actually smiled, only fleetingly, but a smile all the same. 'I don't give him any choice.'

'I'm pleased to hear it.'

Looking him straight in the eye, she said, 'It's down to you. And for that I thank you.'

'You thank me?'

She nodded. 'Our time together...it made me see how much of myself I've   supressed over the years, always trying to mould myself into what I   think other people need. Now I have the courage to just be me, and if I   need help now I ask for it. I know I can't fix everyone on my own. At   least, I'm trying...' Her voice lowered as she considered what she'd   done just a week ago.

Still on her knees, Emily used her hands to sweep the scraps of thread   and material littering the floor around her. All she could concentrate   on was breathing, trying with all her might to control the acceleration   of her heart.

She'd regretted sending the letter the minute it had left her hand and gone off with the courier.

'I know about the letter you sent to my mother.'

She paused and dipped her head, closing her eyes. 'I'm sorry,' she said hoarsely. 'I don't know what possessed me.'

'I do.'

She jerked to feel his warm hand on her wrist, opened her eyes to find him on his knees beside her.

He put his palm on her cheek. 'You did it because you couldn't not do   it. You did it because you have so much love flowing in your veins that   you can't bear to see someone you love suffer, even if that person  isn't  deserving of your love.'

The feel of his skin on hers was almost too much to bear. 'Please tell   me I didn't make things worse.' It was the one thing that haunted her.

He shook his head. 'You couldn't have made them worse.'

'I just felt so guilty for suggesting you to speak to Marat-'

'That wasn't your fault,' he cut her off. 'You made a suggestion, that's   all, and I'm sorry for ever blaming you. I was hurting and full of   guilt and I lashed out at you.'                       
       
           



       

'But...'

Before she could say another word, he kissed her, a gentle pressure that sucked all the air from her lungs.

'But nothing,' he said, his breath hot on her cheek. 'I made the choice   to speak to Marat, knowing damn well what the outcome might be. The   letter you sent to my mother made a difficult situation easier. She was   prepared for me to turn up on her doorstep.'

'I should never have interfered.' She turned her face away, tried to break away from him.

Such was his strength that he pulled her down and onto his lap, holding   her tightly to him as she tried to move away. 'You're not going   anywhere.' His large hands stroked her back with a firm tenderness.

'I swore I was going to stop trying to fix people.'

'But I love that you try and fix them.'

She froze.

'It's how you're wired,' he said gently. 'When you love someone, it's   with everything you have. And I understand it now, because I know there   is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you.'

She raised her head to look at him.

'I always thought love was finite, that people were born with a certain   amount they could give. I believed Marat when he told me I was the   cuckoo in the nest and that our father could never love me like he loved   him. You've shown me how wrong I was. The love I have for you binds me   more tightly to you than any drop of blood ever could.'

He traced a finger down her cheek. 'I would give my soul for you and I   can't ever apologise enough for the way I spoke to you in my office. I   swear on everything I have that I will never speak to you like that   again.'

He meant it. She could see it in his eyes. 'You were in pain,' she   whispered. 'That's why I wrote to your mother-because it hurt me to see   it.'

'Yes, I was hurting, but I should never have taken it out on you.' He   breathed in deeply, inhaling her scent. 'I was scared. I've spent so   many years believing myself to be unworthy of love that I couldn't see   past it. That letter you sent to my mother-I can't tell you how that   made me feel, knowing you had done that for me. If I could capture that   moment I would cherish it for ever.' Now his eyes burned into hers,   searching. 'You said on my yacht that if you loved someone you would   cherish them for what they could give you and not what they couldn't.'

'I love you, Pascha. Sterile or fertile, it makes no difference to me.'

'I know you do. If there's one thing you've taught me, it's that love is   infinite. Andrei loved me, truly loved me. And if you and he can love   this stubborn fool of a man then I know I can love a vulnerable child   who's desperate for a home.'

Pascha couldn't hold himself back any more. He needed to kiss her.   Properly. He crashed his lips onto hers, holding her so tightly, kissing   her so thoroughly, being so thoroughly kissed in return that all the   tightness inside him loosened.

'Please, say you'll marry me? Will you become Emily Plushenko?'

'Of course I will...' That familiar groove formed in her brow. 'Emily Plushenko?'

He smiled sadly. 'I kept thinking of the butterfly tattoo in the small   of your back and what a personal memorial to your mother it was. It made   me think. If I can't restore Andrei's legacy, then I can honour him   personally. I've changed my name back to Andrei's. I should never have   turned away from it in the first place. But one thing I don't want to   change is you. I love you for who you are, exactly as you are.'

'And I love you exactly as you are too.'

Suddenly it dawned on him, really dawned on him, that this passionate,   crazy, loyal woman loved him. She loved him. She belonged to him just as   he belonged to her. The only thing that bound them together was love.

And as he smothered her mouth in a kiss full of all the emotion pouring out of him, he knew their love would last a lifetime.