The Resistance(25)

I debate answering, wondering how much of a lead I can get on them if I take off running now. With the heels I’m wearing, I’m thinking not that far, so I answer. “It’s true. I guess I slept with a rock star.”

“You,” she says then looks back to the stage briefly before lowering her voice. “You slept with Johnny Outlaw? Why am I only finding this out now?”

“It’s not like that. I didn’t know he was Johnny Outlaw when I had sex with him.”

People are staring. When my eyes meet the bartenders, he sets down another shot, and says, “Thought you might need this.”

“Thanks.” I down it knowing it won’t ease the mortification that a portion of this room now knows I slept with the band… or at least the lead singer, which kind of feels like the same thing right now.

The band is only three songs in and I’m being swarmed with questions from the girls while other girls I don’t know are glaring at me.

Cara looks at Tracy and asks her, “How did this happen? I need details and if she won’t give them to me, you will.”

“I don’t know any details,” Tracy says, shrugging. “She hasn’t told me anything either.”

Both of them turn to look at me, curiosity and impatience written on their faces.

“I don’t know Johnny.” I look back at the stage and I start questioning everything he told me, our conversations running through my head, wondering if I missed something or he just blatantly lied to me.

I’ve seen him on TV winning Grammys and walking the red carpet with famous models. Who knew I’d ever meet him in person? Was I that caught up in my own work to actually pay attention to the man on the screen in front of me? It makes no sense that he’s the same man I’ve been spending time with.

Seeing him now, and knowing him so intimately, I hear the same passion I heard through jagged breaths. He holds the microphone like he held me, caressing it with care.

Beautifully tortured, there’s a dark aura projected through the pain on his face as he sings about lost dreams and faded nights. His body is defined, his hair styled, image intact for everyone to see the star he is—the star he was always meant to be. Keeping my eyes on him, I say, “I don’t know the man on stage. I don’t know him at all.” I watch, fascinated like the entire room of fans, staring at the man who owns all of their adoration.

With a nudge, Tracy says, “You should talk to him after the show.”

My heart pounds, not knowing where anything stands between us while starting to feel betrayed, tricked. “I don’t know. I feel weird about things now.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

I glare at her. “I may not have done anything wrong, but I was an idiot. He must think I’m so stupid. I slept with one of the most well know bachelors in the world. Someone who every woman wants and I thought he was an undercover security guard working for the hotel.”

Her expression says it all, but just in case I misinterpreted it, she says, “You would have sex with a security guard?” Her nose is scrunched in disgust.

I point at the stage again. “Need I remind you that the security guard we are talking about looks like that?”

“Good point.”

We spend the next couple of songs in silence, listening, every song’s lyrics have new meaning to me and feeling like he might be singing just for me, kind of hoping he is. When I remember I have no messages, I know he isn’t. He can have any girl in this room, so I don’t expect to hear from him anyway.

The crowd is clapping, the band deserving the ovation. Cara says, “Show’s over. Let’s try to get backstage.”

My heart begins to race. “I don’t think so,” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t want to barge in on him. He said he’d message me.”

The band hops off the side of the stage and disappears and my heart calms. I should go with her and see Dalton… Johnny. I should, but I’m confused by the lies he told me or untruths or whatever he’s gonna call the fact that he led me to believe he was someone different altogether.

“C’mon. We have to try.” Cara grabs my hand and pulls me out the side exit into a hotel hallway that leads to a door backstage. I pull free from her tight grip and shake my head again. “No, I can’t. Not right now. Not with a crowd around.”

“Holli, you had sex with him. He’ll want to see you.” Her determination makes me wonder if she’s doing this for me or herself. “We need to get back there before everyone else figures out where they are.”

Tracy stands close, taking my side. “This is about Holli. Not us, so I don’t think we should do this.”