The Rakehell Regency(293)

"But the, um, smell and mess?" Pamela whispered.



"What of women's monthlies? Or pregnancy? No man who is any sort of decent gentleman would find his wife less than lovely in all her aspects," Jonathan said firmly, his eyes glowing.



Pamela shrank down on the Turkey red sofa in the small drawingroom, her cheeks scorching with embarrassment and the oddest mix of emotions.



He saw her face flame, and shook his head. "I'm sorry if my outspokenness shocks you, but these absurd pretensions to refinement really grate on me. I have seen life in its most raw forms during the war. I've slept on the ground, and eaten things my dog would have turned its nose up at. You've heard Michael's and Blake's letters. You might want to rethink your notions of shocking or disgusting, Miss Ashton."



She blushed to the roots of her hair. "Indeed. Not disgusting, certainly. If you don't object, I certainly don't."



"Not even if your aunt does?" he challenged.



"No," she said with a lift of her chin. "As you say, it's all perfectly natural. The Lord gave us our bodies. Who are we to think His creation any less than perfect?"



"Hmm, perfect, yes," he said with warm smile which set her heart aflutter. "That should include the act of procreation itself, with the correct partner, a lawfully wedded spouse, or at least two people committed to each other body and soul."



Pamela stared at him in surprise. "You cannot possibly approve of extra-marital sexual relations?"



He shrugged one shoulder. "No, but I can see reasons for it, such as not being able to wed quite quickly enough for their tastes. I can understand circumstances where the couple might not be able to help themselves, where affection and intimacy might go too far. But no affection and intimacy should take place if they are not committed. And adultery of course is expressly forbidden."



"Of course." She blushed and rose. She moved across the room to where Vanessa was just refastening her bodice.



"May I help change his napkin or something? I should very much like to learn. I'm ashamed to say I was too self-centered to be interested in aiding with my sisters. But I admire you for your maternal devotion, and would like to improve myself as a person in every way I can."



"Of course, my dear," Vanessa said with a kind smile. "Why not try to wind him? Support his head, like so, and rub gently but firmly. Some people pat on the back, but I believe stroking works just as well."



Pamela did as she had instructed, and laughed in delight as the baby brought up a belch that would have made a stevedore proud.



She smiled over at Jonathan, who was looking at her with a piercing stare. She flushed hotly. Was he being critical of her again, thinking her silly and immature for knowing so little about babies?



She had to admit that many women wed far younger than she, and had families immediately, often one child after another. Those women who were fortunate enough to carry to term, of course, and whose babies survived.



At that thought she grew almost nervous. But torn between the two contrary impulses of handing Arthur back in horror, or cradling him to her, she chose the latter action.



After a time she relaxed and let him snuggle against her bosom. She laughed again in delight when he began to doze on her shoulder, and made the most remarkable little snuffling noises reminiscent of a happy kitten.



It was a moving, almost sensual experience, one which filled her head with all sorts of swirling, vibrant images featuring a certain handsome man with steel-gray eyes.



"There's no great secret to being a good mother," Vanessa said softly. "Food, warmth, love, tenderness. Not so very different from being a wife, actually, except a husband's needs are slightly more complicated, but also far more thrilling. For both of you."



"Oh, er, yes, so they say." Pamela blushed.



"If you marry the right man, of course."



Pamela confessed, "I must admit I used to think about marriage with a great deal of enthusiasm, but now that I've been spending so much time with Jonathan I find my mind has altered considerably."



"Oh?" Vanessa said, her eyes widening, her lovely patrician features settling into a worried frown.



"Pardon me, I don't mean that the way it sounds. Not at all. He is a most marvelous gentleman. Any woman who secured his regard would be most fortunate," she forced herself to say, though it pained her to picture him with any other woman by his side.



"I simply meant that he and Sarah have shown me that I should not be so hasty. That I'm not worthy to be anyone's wife or mother until I learn more about the world, and myself. And how to be far more discerning about the company I keep."