The Rake's Redemption(36)

But she had to be with Dominic at mealtime. Then her forced gaiety was  even noted by Lord Grenville, who roused himself to look wonderingly at  her.

Sophia felt strongly that Juliana shouldn't be making such an effort  when she was obviously so miserable. They were alone in the upstairs  sitting room, where Juliana felt certain Dominic would never invade her  privacy. Sophia made several desultory remarks as Juliana stared  vacantly out into the gardens.

"I don't suppose you've noticed, my dear, but Dominic isn't happy  either," Sophia finally managed. "Don't you think you might speak to  him? It is a bit disconcerting to the rest of us when you leave a room  the moment he enters."

"Yes," Juliana sighed. "Perhaps I should leave the Towers. I'm spoiling everything for you."

"Oh, no, you can't!" Sophia replied promptly. "You can't run away, dear.  It would do no good. Rodney says he has never seen Dominic look so  haggard." Sophia could see from the hurt in Juliana's eyes that she was  as aware of Dominic as she had ever been.

Juliana cast her a speaking glance.

"It's his own fault, Aunt Sophia. I've tried everything … " she broke into tears.

"Now, now dear," Sophia soothed, "I'll think of something." She  brightened. Before she could enlarge on this, there was a knock on the  door.

Juliana started and colored up. "No. I cannot see him!" she blurted out.

Sophia rose to admit Dearborne, who formally presented a white note on a silver salver to Juliana.

Sophia noticed that Juliana's hand shook when she read it. "There will  be no reply, Dearborne," her niece said with quiet dignity.

He retreated with no expression, the perfect butler.

"What is it, darling?" Sophia watched anxiously as Juliana rose and crossed to the window.

"It was a note from Dominic. He wants me to meet him so we can talk."  She flung back her head, laughing, and Sophia crossed the floor quickly  to touch her shoulder. There had been a thin edge of hysteria in her  mirth.                       
       
           



       

"Are you going?"

"No!" A hand that shook, crumpled the note and tossed it aside. "I can't!"



Even when George was called back to Wentworth Park because of some  problem with field drainage, Juliana didn't get upset-all her months of  planning for just the short time he had spent in the ton didn't seem  important now.

She roused herself to go to the front steps to say good-bye to George.  Charlotte was before her, whispering urgently to him as his horse pawed  the driveway. Diplomatically Juliana left her brother and Charlotte  alone for their good-byes. Only after Charlotte had slipped quietly back  into the Towers did she step forward to take her brother's hand.

"I'm sorry to be leaving so soon, Ju. Already made my apology to their  graces. Be back in the city before you know it," George forced optimism  into his voice. "Don't know what the matter is, Ju, but you'll see.  You'll come about."

Knowing he was eager to see her smile, she embraced him warmly. "Have a  safe journey, darling. And don't be concerned with me. Aunt Sophia and I  shall see you in London within a fortnight."

He was climbing upon his horse when Dominic appeared astride Bucephalus.  Juliana quickly moved back into the shadow of the doorway where he  could not see her. He leapt down from the saddle and placed a hand on  George's shoulder. She noticed that the exertion of his ride had caused  his hair to curl and added fresh color to his face. He looked so young  and strong, no hint of the dark secrets that tormented him. Why couldn't  he always be this way?

The men shook hands and then Dominic stood watching until George's horse became lost behind the beech trees.

When he turned toward the door, he saw her leaning out to catch the last  disappearing glimpse of George. They stared at each other wordlessly.

When she could bear it no longer, she lowered her gaze and returned into the safety of the Towers.

That evening a second note arrived.

Three times more Dearborne knocked on her door with a note and three  times she told him there would be no reply. She was honest enough with  herself to admit why she wouldn't meet Dominic. She wasn't sure that she  wouldn't just cast herself into his arms, willing to accept whatever he  offered.



The final evening had been declared a family party. Juliana knew Sophia  expected the formal announcement of all her wedding plans. She and  Rodney had spent interminable afternoons with the duchess hashing out  the details.

Sophia confided that Rodney's patience was wearing as thin as his  waistline with the Duchess's insistence on near perfection. But it was  done and only her aunt's twinkling hints about two dozen turtledoves  compelled Juliana to attend the dinner.

A flustered Mary arrived at her bedchamber. "Miss, I'm ever so sorry.  Dearborne says they need me in the kitchen." The little maid tossed her  head. "Told old high and mighty that me job was to help you, but he was  right nasty, he was. Will you be all right, miss? Here, I'll lay this  turquoise gown out and be back as quick as can be."

Juliana missed Mary's continual chatter and sat at her mirror playing  idly with her curls. She could easily dress herself, but had fallen into  the habit of allowing Mary to do everything. When she heard the door  open, expecting Mary, she glanced up smiling, but then blanched, for  Dominic stood in the doorway. She couldn't move even as he closed the  door partway and came toward her.

"I know you're expecting Mary, but she has been unavoidably detained in the kitchens."

Juliana rose, drawing her muslin wrapper closer. "What do you want, Dominic?"

"We need to talk." Strong emotion darkened his eyes and roughened his voice.

"If I'd wanted to talk to you, I would have answered your notes. We said all that needed to be said days ago in the meadow."

Dominic folded his arms across his chest. "No, there is more, much more  that you need to know. And I'm not leaving until you hear it."

"I already know about your father. And your mother. Everything." Seeing  the look of blankness in his eyes, Juliana felt a wave of remorse rush  over her. She didn't want to hurt him! She loved him!

She moved to the window and stood, nervously fingering the fabric. "I  understand your father's feeling about  …  about widows being soiled  goods, but … "

"Never say that again!" he interrupted fiercely, taking her by the arms  and turning her to face him. "I would kill anyone for saying that about  you. Don't you know why I came here? I've hurt you  …  I can't bear that."                       
       
           



       

Putting his hands lightly against her cheeks, he tilted her face up and  their eyes locked. "You are the most wonderful, the most precious  …  you  are perfect."

Putting her away from him, he shook his head. "You don't understand what I am saving you from."

"I don't wish to hear any more about my not understanding!" Juliana  burst out, drawing herself up proudly. "It is you, who do not  understand! I made a promise to Sir Timothy that I would never forget  Will. That I would put no one else in his place." She gave a short  laugh. "I kept that promise quite well for five long years, but within  hours of meeting you, I could not keep you out of my thoughts."  Juliana's eyes searched his face. "You see, I love you more than my  honor. I have overcome my past  …  the teachings of a lifetime  …  to love  you."

Standing quite still, Dominic's eyes, dark and fathomless, rested upon  her. "Do you know what an unsuitable marriage is, Juliana?" His voice  hardened slightly when he spoke. "It is when one person is trapped in  the net of another's grand passion. It happened to my mother and father.  It destroyed them both  …  and Jules  …  and me."

"I am not your mother!" Juliana, tears finally spilling over her face, said in the only voice left to her, a thin, reedy sound.

"I know," he said quietly, color coming to mark his cheekbones. "But I  am her son. I am the soiled goods. Let me tell you what I am saving you  from."

She stepped back, sudden fear making her tremble.

"Hear what I am. I would have seduced you at Vauxhall, Juliana. I have  done it before in that very same temple. I have engaged in excesses you  could not even imagine. I ran away to the Peninsula  …  away from my  tainted heritage  …  only to blacken my name … "

Shaking her head, her eyes clung to his face, which resembled a beautiful polished stone. "Were you hoping to die too, Dominic?"