The One For Me(43)

We get into my Honda and I’m suddenly glad I vacuumed. “They still live on Houston street?” she whisper.

I nod. “Yeah, it’s still there. It’s improved. They built Liam a tennis court and swimming pool.”

“Wow, Mom, we should move back in,” Brian says from the back seat.

She shoots him a death glare. “I hope he is okay to see us. I hope he doesn’t get mad or anything like that.”

Me, too. I frown when we get to the driveway. Liam’s Jeep is in the driveway and my heart is hammering in my ears. I stop the car and Brian lets out a long whistle. “Really nice pad. They must be loaded.”

“Shut it, Brian.”

I laugh. He is only thinking the same thing I thought. “Well, I guess we should get out,” I say, slowly. “It’s probably best you both come with me. He is less likely to slam the door in my face this way.”

“He is that made at you?” Brian asks. “What did you do? Kill his puppy?”

“That’s none of your business, Brian. Leave the girl alone.” Mary Beth taps her fingers along her purse. She is more nervous than I am. She should be. My and Liam’s problem shouldn’t have a place in this. I open the door, and pop the seat so Brian can get out.

“Let’s go,” I say, motioning for them to follow me.

We all three walk up to the doorsteps. I feel like the Beast is going to come out from behind the closed doors and shun me. I knock gently, and step to the side. I don’t want him to look through the peep hole and see me. He might not answer.

After a few minutes, I hear the shuffling of feet along the hardwood floor. My heart thumps. Please don’t shut the door in my face. Please.

The door creaks open and Liam is standing on the other side. His eyes go straight to me. They stay there for a few long unspoken seconds. I feel everyone staring at me. I can’t stand it. “Um, hey, Liam,” I whisper.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, his eyes flickering to the two beside me. “And what’s going on, who are these people?” He crossed his arms across his chest. I notice how good his long sleeves shirt fits his arms. I want to wrap my arms around his waist, hold him and kiss him. I want him to talk to me. I want him to love me, like I love him.

“This is Mary Beth Johns and Brian Johns,” I mumble.

His face is pale. I know he knows who they are but he asks anyway. “Who are they, Katy?” My name sounds foreign on his tongue. I wish he would call me little bear, even though I hate it.

“This is your mother and your brother, Liam,” I blurt out.

Liam’s eyes dart toward his mothers. “Mom?” he asks, low.

“Yes,” she blurts out. She is sobbing when she pulls him into a hug. I feel awkward standing here watching them but I can’t help it. Liam is…smiling. Hugely, I might add. Brian takes a step toward them, wrapping them both in a hug.

“I have a younger brother? How old are you?” he asks.

“Fourteen.”

“You look like me,” Liam says. “We all look alike.”

His mom sobs harder. “I’m so sorry…so so sorry. Katy explained what happened. Why you didn’t write back. She told me everything. She found me. I thought you didn’t want to speak to me. I couldn’t blame you. It was everything for me to stay away from you.”

She hugs him again but he is staring at me over her shoulder. “Maybe we should go inside,” he says, laughing.

“Yes, that would be lovely,” she says, wrapping her cardigan around her slender waist. “That would be great.”

He gestures for Brian and Mary Beth to go inside. He stands at the doorway for en entirely long minute. “Thank you, Katy,” he says, his voice cracking.

God, I want to touch him. To touch the scruff growing along his jaw. To kiss his lips. But I don’t. Because he doesn’t make a move toward me at all. He stands still, hands in his pockets.

“You’re welcome. It was the least I could do,” I say.

He nods. “Well, I better get inside.” His eyes catch mine. I nod.

“Of course. Go mingle, get to know your family.”

He nods. “Yeah…guess I’ll see you later.”

“Bye,” I say, as he shuts the door. I stare at the wooden door for five minutes. My heart is screaming for me to beat on it. To bang until he opens, to throw my arms around him and never let go. But, I don’t. My brain tells me to give up. That he doesn’t want to make it work. He is through with me.

So I turn around and leave, desperately waiting to hear the door open and him run out into my arms. It doesn’t. The only sound is the cars passing by and my heavy breathing.