The Man to Be Reckoned With(27)

“What?”

“I found a remote-access job. It’s a software architect position for a charity based in Bali. A six-month contract.”

He frowned, worry for her trumping every other emotion in him. “Bali? Do you even know anyone there? Let me talk to some people I know and get the area checked—”

She shook her head. “No. I’m sure I’ll be okay. I’ve taken care of myself so far, haven’t I?”

“Why Bali? Why quit Travelogue?”

“Nothing here...nothing feels enough anymore. This life I’ve been leading, I want more. I want more excitement, more everything.”

“Riya, I don’t think you should just up and leave.”

“Nathan?”

“Hmm?” He made a sound in his throat, incapable of anything else with her hands moving up his body. Sexual tension and anticipation arced and swelled between them, binding them together.

“A part of me wants to throw caution to the wind and live recklessly. A part of me will always hold me back. You are in between, Nate. Between risk and safety.” Her hands clasped his cheek, and she tilted his chin up to meet her eyes. Lust and fire danced in them.

He frowned as her palm pressed against his chest, as if it wanted to confirm the thunderous roar of his heart. The intimacy of the gesture swelled inside him. “What do you want, butterfly?”

“That whole night that you promised me.” Stepping back from him, she tugged the zipper of her dress down. With an elegant sensuality that sent lust rollicking through him, she pulled the fabric down, revealing the plump globes of her breasts, pushed it past her hips.

The dress pooled at her feet and she slowly kicked it away. Leaving her voluptuous body in a strapless bra and a thong.

He stepped back from her, only by the skin of his teeth. He couldn’t be near her and not take what he wanted. He was painfully aroused, every nerve in him strung to breaking point. It didn’t help that he’d had two drinks when he never drank, and now he had a simmering buzz in his head. “No.”

She reached him before he could draw another breath. “Yes.” She had somehow unbuttoned his shirt and now her palm rested against his hot skin, every line and ridge of it leaving an imprint on him. “You don’t have to worry, Nate. I know precisely what I want and what I’ll be getting. And come tomorrow morning, I’ll bid you goodbye with a smile.” Bending, she pressed an openmouthed kiss to his chest, flicked his nipple with her tongue.

Lust slammed at him from every direction.

With a punishing breath, he realized he couldn’t send her away. She had come back here, hadn’t she? She wanted him, and she owned her desire in a way that reduced him to nothing but heat and hunger.

Maybe with her he would always be weak. With the one woman who needed him to be honorable, strong, maybe he would always be this man who needed more than life had given him, who would always be reduced to the lowest denominator there was of him. Who wanted a few more stolen moments, a few more kisses...

It was exactly as he had feared.

Wasn’t that why she was so dangerous to him?

All his armor, all his rules flew out the window when it came to her. She had brought forgiveness into his life. For a few weeks, she had banished the loneliness that was a part of his very bones now. She had brought him peace.

And tonight, it wanted pleasure, hers and his, and it wanted all of her, all night.

So he kissed her. Swallowed her soft gasp. Tasted her with hungry strokes of his tongue, learned her all over again. Drank from her until he was heady with lack of air. He was greedy, he was hot and he didn’t grant them both even a breath.

His throat ached; his chest hurt at the sweet taste of her. Her touch, as her fingers wound around his nape, branded him. Her body coiled around his, stamped him forever, owned it, even if she didn’t know it. Her breasts grazed him, the taut nipples rasping against his chest like tight buds driving him out of his skin.

And in that minute, he knew he would never again know the touch of another woman, the taste of another woman, the embrace of another woman. His breath harsh, he pressed his forehead against hers, the words rising through him like a tornado that couldn’t be contained.

Because, as he had realized all those years ago, it wasn’t the fact that his heart didn’t work that was the problem. It was that it wanted more than it could ever handle in a lifetime. And all the needs and wants he had suppressed to live his life came rising to the fore when it came to Riya.

Everything he had done, everything he had achieved, felt so small compared to this moment when he couldn’t say the words he most wanted to say. They burned on his tongue, fighting to be freed, weighed down on his chest, choking him.

He longed to tell her how much he loved her, how she had forever marked his heart, how she had brought forgiveness to his life, how she had, even if it was only these few minutes that he allowed himself, made him feel.

How alive he felt when he was near her, how much he wanted to grow old with her, how much he wanted to be the one who would protect her, cherish her, love her.

Their teeth scraped, their tongues tangled. Their breaths mixed and became one. They became one.

The bed groaned as they fell onto it, devouring each other. He pushed his fingers up her thighs until he found her core. Only made sure that she was ready for him. Rubbed the swollen bud there. Let her soft moans surround him.

And she matched him in his hunger, giving as good as she got, digging her teeth into his chest, and there was nothing left in Nate but the desperate need to possess her.

He pushed her legs apart roughly in a frenzy of need. Undid his trousers. Tugged her thong out of the way. Holding her gaze, he entered her in a deep thrust that spoke of his desperate hunger rather than finesse.

Her wet heat clamped him tight, and Nate clenched his jaw to keep the words from spilling out.

Her legs wrapped around his hips; her spine bucked off the bed. She groaned and scratched his biceps with her nails as he pounded into her, only the haze of his approaching climax driving him. He touched the swollen bud at her core, glistening with moisture, calling for his touch.

She exploded around him and he thrust harder, faster, riding the wave of her release, forever changed by her.

His chest still expanding and contracting, he gathered her in his arms and rolled, until she was on top of him. But this time, she shied her gaze away from him and he wondered if she was bracing for his caustic words again. Cursed himself for changing her.

Running his fingers through her silky hair, he pressed a kiss to her temple. Tasted the sweat and scent of her skin. She was all around him, and it was the one place Nate never wanted to leave.

It was a place of belonging, it was home, it was what he had always wanted in the corners of the heart that he had ruthlessly locked away.

Now, when his heart had found the woman it couldn’t have but wanted with so much longing, he knew he would never again look at another woman as a man did.

Because he, Nathaniel Ramirez, apparently was a one-woman man. And he resigned himself to it.

If he couldn’t have her, he didn’t want anyone. With the realization came desperate need. Tugging her toward him, he pushed her onto her stomach. Breathlessly waited to see if she would protest. Turning her face toward the side, the minx smiled at him. “I’m yours tonight, Nate. To do with as you please.”

With a hand under her body, he tugged her up until she was on her hands and knees. Splaying his palm on her lower back, he kissed along the line of her spine. Found the bundle of nerves that was already wet and slick for him.

He plunged his fingers into her and stroked the swollen tissue, a guttural sound escaping him. Felt the shudder that racked her. Bending down, he licked the rim of her ear. “Do you want me to stop, Riya?”

“No, please, Nate. Don’t.”

And that was all he needed. Holding her hips, he thrust into her. Felt stars explode behind his eyes, felt his body buckle at the waves of sensation.

There was no gentleness left in him. No honor, no control. Only excruciating love for the woman beneath him. It took him every ounce of will he possessed to wait for her before he let his climax take over his body.

Pulling out of her, he turned her face to find her mouth.

* * *

The spasms of her climax still rocking through her, Riya shivered, a cold dread pooling in her chest. With his explosive lovemaking, Nathan imprinted himself onto every inch of her, and she felt as if she were drowning in the wake of it.

“Did I hurt you, Riya?” Dragging her close until her skin was slick against his, he pressed his mouth over her temple in a reverent touch. Laced his fingers with hers so tight that a stinging heat rose behind her eyes.

Flushing, Riya shook her head.

“Please, Riya, look at me.”

“I’m fine. I just...I think I should go now.”

With panting breaths, Riya willed the panic and pain rising through her to abate.

She had meant to say goodbye, thought doing so would give her closure. How could she have left without his touch, his kiss, without feeling his tightly leashed control fray around her one more time? Without feeling the closeness she felt when he made love to her, without feeling the raw edge of his emotion seek her, need her? It was the one time she felt cherished, loved, the one time she felt as though she mattered.

And now she had only dug herself deeper.

She couldn’t break down now. If she did she would only end up begging him for another second, another minute, another hour. Of him holding her, kissing her, losing himself in her, of wondering if just another night would make him want her, of eviscerating hope that he would ask her to come with him.