The Man to Be Reckoned With(25)

And now she was angry, very angry. And stunned, because there was nothing but finality in his tone. “Why not? Why are you being such a jerk?”

“Because there could be no friendship between us, Riya. Not after that night. When I leave here, you won’t see me again, hear from me again. Ever.”

Her breath knocked around in her lungs. It didn’t feel as though he was stating a fact. It felt as though he was making her a promise. A painful one.

“You never plan to visit the estate that you went to all this trouble for? You’ll kick us all out and just let the house be?”

“Yes.” The word kicked her in the gut. “I could say otherwise now to make you happy, but it would be a lie. And I can’t bear lies.”

Something glimmered in his eyes, but Riya had no idea what. He was hurting her with his words. He was aware of it and he was still doing it. Very efficiently even.

Suddenly the cold stranger from the first day was back. Nathaniel Ramirez was back. And the man who had learned more about her in a few weeks than anyone else in her entire life, he was gone.

“Don’t do this, Riya. Don’t fixate on me because I’m the first man you slept with. Or because I’m the first man who showed a little bit of concern.” He clasped her cheek, devouring her as if he were starving, as if he was memorizing every feature, every angle of it. “What you feel for me is only attraction. Only your body asking for—”

“A repeat performance? You think I’m naive enough to sugarcoat my words when all I want is one of those fantastic orgasms you deal out? And for the record, if that’s what I wanted, I’m sure you would oblige me, wouldn’t you?”

Now there was anger in his eyes. And Riya was glad. She wanted him to be angry, she wanted him to be hurt.

“I think you don’t know the difference between a good friend, a great lover and a man who deserves your love. I’m only good for one of those roles. I think you haven’t seen enough of the world to know yourself.”

“Right. Because Nathaniel Ramirez knows what’s best for everyone.” She pushed his hand away, hating herself for wanting to revel in his touch. “Will you do me two favors while you’re still here, then? Or have I run out of luck with you?”

He looked pale, drawn out. As if there was nothing more left in him. And she was the one who was hurt. “Yes.”

“Can you find out where my father is? Put all your power and wealth to use?”

“Yes, I’ll put someone on it. What’s the second one?”

“There’s a week to the wedding. It would make me really happy if you didn’t come here. Robert can come see you at the hotel.”

“Why?”

Stepping back, she ran her fingers over the wood grain, her throat clogging. “This has been my home for more than a decade. You have the rest of your life here. I only have one week. I want to enjoy it. And if you’re around, it’ll ruin it for me.”

He nodded and then walked away. Riya sank to the bench, her limbs sagging.

For some reason, the tears came then.

They hadn’t come so many times when she wished for them, when she needed an outlet for the ache in her heart. They hadn’t come when she thought her father had let her go. They hadn’t come when she learned that Jackie had lied. But they came now.

Sitting in the gazebo, in the place that had been home to her, Riya cried.

She didn’t know why, and she didn’t try to understand. Only tucked her arms around her knees and let the tears draw wet paths over her cheeks. She cried for the little girl she had been, for the lost and guarded teenager she had been, for the frozen woman she had become.

She didn’t think about Nathan. He had no place in this. This was for her. Only her.

And when the tears dried up and her head hurt, she wiped her cheeks, took a shuddering breath and stood up. Looked around at the lush greenery.

What she had been doing was not enough anymore. That night with Nathan had only been the beginning. Something had to change in her life. She needed to live more. Not that she had any idea how to do that. But she had to start somewhere. After the wedding, she would leave.

She would have to quit her job. She would have to plan her finances, apply for part-time remote-access jobs. To give up all the stability she knew, to leave a job that paid well, the city she had grown up in, to leave Robert and Jackie...the excitement of it all, the fear of it, rocked through her.

There was a whole world out there. And staying still wasn’t an option anymore.

* * *

Standing at the entrance to the kitchen, Nathan felt every muscle in him clench with a feral ache. Every soft cry that fell from Riya’s mouth, every hard breath, landed on him like a claw, raking through him.

But he couldn’t go to her. He couldn’t hold her as he wanted to, he couldn’t promise her that life would get better. That it would hurt less and less. That pain was just as much a part of life as joy.

He didn’t make the mistake of thinking she was crying over him. He knew she was saying goodbye. Still, he wished he could be her support even as it was he who was forcing her to leave.

Ask her to come with you, Nate, a voice piped up, catching him unaware.

If he gave in to the longing inside him, if he asked her to come with him temporarily, just until this fire in him was at least blunted... Whether she realized it now or not, when this wave of risk-taking became too much, her natural world would reassert itself. There would be nothing for him except her rejection.

And that rejection would kill him as nothing else had done. To see that fear in her eyes would surely finish him off. And he couldn’t blame Riya for being who she was, for the way she had survived.

He would never be the right man for her. And if he wanted to nip this...this yearning, this longing she made him feel, he would have to leave soon. Not risk seeing her again.

Before he forgot, before he started hoping for things that would never be, could never be his. And the distance between hope and fear was not that big.

And so he left, without looking back. As he’d always done.





             CHAPTER ELEVEN

THANKS TO THE superefficient event management company Nathan had hired, the wedding preparations went without a hitch. All Riya had to do, even if reluctantly, was to keep her mother calm and turn up to the wedding. More than once, she had indulged in the idea of leaving even before the wedding. But doing that would have hurt Robert and, of course, her mother.

And she wasn’t ruthless enough yet just to cut them out of her life.

But the week leading up to it, surprisingly, had been a pleasant one. Grudgingly she accepted that this fact was due to Nathan. She was aware he threw around his wealth as he pleased, but that he had actually cared enough to have the event organized for Robert, that she couldn’t overlook.

Since he had kept his word and she had mostly worked from home, she hadn’t seen him for the whole week. Having always been the one to take care of the logistics and details of their everyday life, she felt that having it all taken out of her hands had been the best. All she had needed to do was to pick a dress. And even that hadn’t been left to her.

She had been presented with three gorgeous ones that a team from a world-famous fashion house, from whose designs she had never been able to afford even a pitiful scarf, had been waiting with for her one afternoon. A stylist and designer along with the dresses.

She had balked at the idea of wearing anything Nathan paid for. Had absolutely refused to even look at the selection picked out for her.

Until he had texted her: Am paying for the wedding. To show my father that I don’t resent it.

Can buy my own dress, she had texted back. My boss is a heartless pig, but he pays well.

Thundering silence until...





It’s a welcome-to-the-family gift. Accept it or I’ll call you sis :)





She had laughed, imagined the crinkles he got at the corners of his eyes when he did.





Gross and perverted, that’s what you are.





Her heart had run a marathon as she waited. And slammed against her rib cage when her phone pinged again.





Please, Riya.





Her fingers had lingered over her phone’s screen. Why? she wanted to ask him. He had rejected her friendship, so why did it matter whether she accepted this from him? Why was he playing games with her? Caring and affectionate one second and a ruthless stranger the next?

In the end, under his relentless will, she had given in. Let them fit her. Fallen in love with the frothy beige silk creation that somehow was almost the same color as her skin and yet stood out against it as if it were made for her. Whispered sinuously when she moved, outlined her curves without being tacky.

Understated and yet elegant, it had shocked her at how much it suited her, her personality. Not the boring, dowdy clothes she had worn before and not the garish red of her wild night.

But somewhere in between, just perfect for her.

Her hair had been twisted into a sophisticated knot on the top of her head, with soft tendrils caressing her neck and jawline. She had refused the makeup artist’s help, however.

The limo that had brought them to the hotel from the estate, the quiet but affluent luxury of the hall they were having the reception in, the delicious buffet—despite all the things clamoring for her awe and attention, despite her heart fisting in her chest with the thought that she was going to leave everything that was familiar to her very soon, Riya couldn’t silence her need to see Nathan.