The Love Triangle(11)

And I just didn’t know.



I’d insisted on the spare bedroom. Elijah had taken me through to the master bedroom. All my clothes were in the closet. My makeup was in the bathroom. My robe was behind the door. And I felt like a stranger.



“I don’t understand,” Elijah said, standing in the doorway of the guest bedroom. I’d just woken up and I was struggling to just come to terms with the fact that in three nights I’d been in three different places. “Even if you don’t remember us being together, surely it’s not so strange to be with me now? You’ve been here so many times.”



And he was right. I had been here so many times. Elijah and I had spent hours in his bed. I’d used that robe behind the door to sneak down to the kitchen in the middle of the night, after a wild night with him. Why did I feel like this? Why didn’t I want to be around him now when I’ve always been around him, even during the times that I could remember?



But I just couldn’t do it.



“I just need time, Elijah,” I said.



“That’s another thing. Since when do you call me by my name? We’ve used pet names for each other from the start. What’s changed?”



I closed my eyes and counted to three. I had a throbbing ache between my temples, and I felt like stuffing my head into the pillows and screaming. I’d removed the bandage the night before. There was a terrible bump on my head. But I was tired of it. It irritated my skin.



“Sweetheart?” he asked, and I realized I hadn’t answered him for a lot longer than three counts. I opened my eyes and looked at him. I saw him the way I’d seen him the first time. His hair was a white blond, cut in a brush cut that looked very militaristic. I knew that his clients revered him, if not feared him, because of how hard and to the point he could be. The scar on his left cheek didn’t make things any easier, and the way he leaned against the door, his arms crossed over his chest, I could understand why.



But they didn’t know him the way I knew him. He was charming in his own way, and whatever he lacked in etiquette, he made up for with the best that money could buy. And I still couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go up to him and kiss him the way I wanted to. I couldn’t be in the same bed with him, no matter how many times I’d done it before.



And I had no idea why.



“It’s me,” I finally said.



“What?”



I hadn’t spoken for a while. “You asked me what’s changed. The answer is me. I’ve changed. I don’t know what’s going on, but I just feel like I don’t belong here. Like I’m in the wrong place, with the wrong people.”



His face hardened. The concern in his eyes drained away until they were cold and empty.



“And who are the right people?” he asked and his voice matched his eyes.



My first answer was Justin. But I didn’t say that. I may have had a bump on my head and no idea who I was anymore, which sounded more melodramatic than anything else considering, but I still knew that if I said that to him now, if I told him that he wasn’t the right guy, it would hurt him.



And no matter how much I didn’t want to be with him, I didn’t want to hurt him. Deep down inside of me there was something that still loved him, the way that I’d fallen in love with him the first few months that I’d worked in Fort Atkinson.



The problem was that I loved Justin the same. Apparently I’d chosen before. I didn’t know how I could choose now.

***

My job at Magna Solutions was nothing like what I used to do in the city. I’d travelled a lot as a lawyer, represented a lot of companies. And I never worked this closely with an owner at any point in time. Elijah was a hard businessman. He made cutthroat decisions all the time and his employees knew not to question him. I’d learned that as well.



We were in the boardroom before a meeting, and I was going over the last of the notes.



“They’ll be here any moment,” Elijah said, looking at his wristwatch. “You just work your magic and we’ll have this deal sealed in under half an hour.”



“Elijah, I’ve been looking over these figures and what it will mean for Magna Solutions in the long run. I’m still not sure these are the best terms,” I said, glancing at my papers. I’d been mulling it all over in my mind for the past week and I was nervous. Nervous for Magna Solutions, nervous for my job.



He looked up at me, and his eyes weren’t friendly.



“Miss Davis,” he said, and I shivered. Since our interlude in the coffee shop, he’d called me Grace. “I don’t need to remind you that this is one of the biggest deals so far.”



“I know, that’s why I’m nervous about it. I mean, if it works it will be great. But if it doesn’t?”



“Don’t question my judgment. I didn’t hire you to tell me what to do, I hired you to tell me the best way to do it.”



I swallowed, glanced down at my papers again. I’d heard him use that tone with some of the other employees but he hadn’t spoken to me like that before.



The door open and three men in business suits walked in. When I looked at Elijah again he had a warm smile on his face and he walked up to them with outstretched hands before he offered his hands to each of them. The transformation was complete and shocking. I did as I was asked. When it came down to signing the papers, Elijah glared at me like I was going to sabotage it all.



And when they left, he turned to me again. Usually after a success like this he offered to take me out. This was where our relationship had been growing into something more than just a business relationship. This was where I’d gotten to know him, gotten to like him.



“Make sure that the documents are ready for the Bennett meeting on Friday,” he said to me, and walked out of the office. Nothing else. I was left alone in the boardroom.



Margaret popped her head in. She was one of the two secretaries and she’d been there the longest.



“Oh, I thought you’d all left, dear,” she said and smiled. “I thought it was a good meeting.”



“It was,” I said. “Elijah doesn’t think I’m up to scratch though.”



Margaret smiled like she felt sorry for me and walked to me, sitting down on the chair Elijah had vacated.



“Now, you don’t worry about that. Mr. Wilson is a hard boss to work for, but working here will get you anywhere else in life you want to be. He’s as a good a reference as they come. If you can just hold it out with his tyranny for a year or more, you’ll be made for the rest of his life.”



I looked down at my paperwork and sighed.



“Don’t look so down, dear. I promise you it won’t get worse. He likes you, I can tell. He can really be mean if he wants to be, but the worst you can get here is losing your job. That’s what this business is all about. Keeping those that do good, and getting rid of the ones who don’t. I’ve seen a lot of lawyers pass through and you’re doing just fine. You’ve been here now for what, three months? Nine more and you can pack your bags and leave Mr. Wilson, master of his own little universe, behind.”



It was sweet of her; Margaret tried to look out for me. She was the motherly type, but she worked hard all the same. If anyone knew Elijah, it was her. But what she didn’t know was that I didn’t want to just stay here for one year and then leave. I didn’t want to leave Elijah behind and be set for life. I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted him to like me, because I liked him. I wanted whatever it was that was starting to happen between us go further, because I liked what I saw when we weren’t in the office.



Margaret patted my hand and smiled at me.



“You go on out and take your lunch. Make it a long one, too. Mr. Wilson will be in a meeting until four. If you’re back by then, he won’t even know you’re gone.”



“I won’t be more than an hour,” I said, and thanked her for helping me through this. I collected my papers together and put them in the leather briefcase I carried, and left the office, left the building, left my work behind for a little bit.



I stopped at the café and ordered a coffee to go and a sandwich from the deli, and got in my car and started driving. I would drive for half an hour, and then turn around and come back. I just needed space. I needed distance. I needed to clear my head.



I drove for longer than half an hour. I had to admit to that. When I saw the signs that indicated the interstate, I knew I’d gone too far. I pulled off on the side of the road and waited for the truck behind me to pass before I turned around with a big curve.



I drove for three minutes when the car sounded different. Wrong. I pulled over again and got out. The back tire on the passenger side was flat. And I didn’t know how to change a tire. I found my purse and rummaged for my cell phone. After I’d dumped all the contents on my seat and I still hadn’t found it, I backtracked, and remembered I left it in my office before the meeting.



Great. I was stuck in the middle of nowhere, with the sun beating down and miles of road in both directions. And not a single car. Not after the truck I’d let past. I cursed and leaned against the hood of the car. I could wait. Someone was bound to come along.