The Love Sucks Club(90)
“No shit,” Mandy slurs. “Like Jackie. She’s a robot.”
“Excuse me,” Jackie yells back. “I’m trying to get my life under control. I have to keep a tight lid on myself.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to be cold and unfeeling,” Karen yells.
Rick squats in front of Karen. “I’m not cold and unfeeling. I just don’t understand why you’re always complaining.”
“Because I never feel like you love me enough,” she yells, tearing up.
Mandy nods and pats Karen’s shoulder. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“How can you know what she means?” My ex looks livid. “You’re never sober enough to recognize love.” Jackie turns to look at me. “I get it, you know. I get it now.”
Nodding at her, I look back at Esmé who is watching the argument with a pained expression. I remember her telling me that she never felt like Fran loved her as much as she loved Fran. This time when I smile at her, she smiles back. Tightening my arms around Roxanne, I turn back to look at Jackie. “I know. I know it.”
Mandy waves her hands around, almost knocking herself off balance. A vision of her falling into the tub full of water gives me a bit of a laugh. Reading my thoughts, Roxanne laughs too.
“Karen,” Rick tries again. “We can talk about this more when we go home. I do love you. I just don’t know what else I can do to show it.”
“You can try hugging me and kissing me and being affectionate with me even when we aren’t having sex.”
“Yeah,” Mandy yells again, waving her hand toward Jackie.
Ignoring her, Rick looks at his wife. “Well, I feel like when I try, you get mad.”
“Because it’s already been so long that I’m frustrated when you even try.”
Rick throws his arms up in exasperation. “Then what can I do? I feel like I’m always trying. I check your tire pressure every day. I take your car in for servicing. I get up every night and walk around the house checking the locks. I do everything I can to keep you safe.”
“I don’t want to just feel safe,” Karen says, starting to cry. “I want to feel desired.”
Rick reaches out to touch her hair. “Sometimes it’s hard to desire you when you’re always angry at me.”
“I know,” she replies.
Mandy leans back, almost falling into the tub again and again I chuckle. “Shut the hell up, Dana,” she yells.
Oblivious to the screams of the roof and the storm, she pops open another beer and chugs half of it. “You let go of Jackie and I got her. Who’s the loser now?”
“You will be,” I yell across the room, “when she comes to the realization that someone in recovery can’t be with someone who’s drunk all of the time.”
Jackie looks away, staring at the wall. Karen is still softly crying, but she’s letting Rick hold her. Sam clears her throat. “Well, as long as we’re all in couple’s counseling,” she yells, boisterously. “Susannah, Thomas. Anything you want to tell us?”
“Well, for a while there, I thought I might have to join your club,” Susannah begins.
“Oh, that stupid thing,” Roxanne breaks in. “Why on earth did I ever agree to be a part of something so ridiculous?”
“Because you’re secretly in love with me and you thought it was the best way to get my attention?” I offer.
“Excuse me,” Susannah interrupts. “I believe I have the floor.”
We all wait while a particularly loud crash shakes the house again. Roxanne reaches over for Frank and hugs him in close to her body. “At least he gets cuddled,” I call in her ear.
“I’m pressed against you and you’re complaining?”
“Anyway,” Susannah says, loudly. “Thomas is wonderful.”
“Really?” He smiles at her.
“Really,” she says. “Truly wonderful.”
“Oh, good for you,” Mandy says, waving her beer in the air in some kind of sloppy toast. “So glad to hear the breeders are happy.”
“Can it, Mandy,” Jackie warns.
“Or what?”
“Wow,” Olivia says. “What a drama queen.”
Sam and I both bust out laughing. “That’s pretty rich coming from you,” I say, slapping my hand against my knee.
Olivia looks furious for a second. She opens her mouth to say something, but closes it again. Smiling, she nods at me. “You’re right. I am a drama queen. But I’m working on it.”
Roxanne takes her hand and the two of them smile affectionately at each other.
“So, Olivia,” I say. “Are you still straight?”