The Love Sucks Club(76)
She pulls away and walks toward the door. “Thanks for the coffee.”
“Hey,” I call. “Are you going to be all right? Money-wise, I mean.”
She looks straight at me and for a second, I’m heavy with the weight of her cares. My shoulder slump and I can see the long road she’s facing. Living in her car, going to AA meetings, falling off the wagon, pulling herself back onto it. There’s a shadow around her future and I realize that I can’t see what’s going to happen to her.
“I’ll be okay,” she says. “I’m always okay.”
She turns toward the door again.
“Jackie?”’
With her hand on the doorknob, she half turns, and pauses. “What?”
“I believe in you. I know you can do it.”
Walking out the door, she raises her hand as a last goodbye, without saying another word. Still buckling under the weight of her pain, I slouch into a stool. Frank walks across the counter and head butts me. I wrap my arms around him, pulling him against me so I can bury my face in his fur. He utters a brief protest, but doesn’t struggle to get away. He allows me to hold him for several minutes, as if he knows somehow that I’m seeking comfort from his very presence. Susannah tiptoes in and puts her hand on my shoulder.
“Are you all right, sis?”
Looking up at her, I smile. “Yeah, Susie. I guess I am.”
“Well, good. Maybe you can help me with a problem.”
Not another one. This is how life works. I get rid of one heavy weight and two more drop on me.
“What happened?”
“Thomas and I broke up.”
“How come?”
“He says I’m too controlling and he doesn’t want to live like that.”
Nodding, I look at her seriously. “Susannah, I’m going to be painfully honest with you here in an attempt to help you save yourself.”
She takes a deep breath as if to brace herself.
“Okay.”
“You are too controlling. When I’ve seen you with Thomas, I somehow see the two of you as Mom and Dad. You tell him what to do. It looks like you should be steering him around by his elbow.”
Tears fill up her eyes, but she blinks to stave them off. We are stoics in this family. Never let them see you breakdown, that’s our motto. She looks up at the ceiling. “I know I try to control things, Dana. I just don’t want to lose myself in a relationship.”
“You’ve got to find the balance, Sissy. Somewhere between being a controlling bitch and giving yourself completely over to his wants is a happy balance where the two of you communicate with each other and compromise to make sure that you are both comfortable and happy.”
“I’m not sure that I know how to find that balance.”
Wrapping my arms around her, I smile. “I don’t know that any of us do, baby sister.”
Chapter Twenty
Rick and Karen have canceled their end of the summer party. Apparently, the locals, who are fond of predicting hurricanes using everything from the size of the waves to the shape of the clouds were correct that hurricane season would start early this season. Still, law of averages suggests they will be right occasionally. We’ve been tracking Omar for a while and according to the weather reports, we are due to start getting the first bad weather from it sometime in the middle of the night. I asked my sister to come spend the night here. Her stupid apartment complex is a flimsy piece of crap and as far as I know, they haven’t done anything to prepare for the oncoming storm. Sam is going to head up here after she finishes getting the resort as ready as they can be. Of course, Olivia is coming up with my sister. Whatever else happens, it will be interesting to see her and Sam together. Rolling my eyes toward the ceiling, I shake my head. I still don’t get that one. Olivia is straight, for God’s sake. I don’t get it. I asked Sam if she and Olivia are dating now, but she danced around the answer. I’m guessing that’s a yes, but it’s really not any of my business. I mean, it wouldn’t be my business if it didn’t directly involve me. It does, however. It’s bad enough I have to see her through my sister. Now, she’s possibly dating my best friend.
Sam is irritated that the party is canceled. I’m not too upset about it. Sure, there would be some people there that I would like to see, but let’s face it, if I really wanted to see them, I would make an effort to do so even without the excuse of a party. Besides, the problem with a big party like that is that most of the people there are people I don’t particularly want to see. Worse, it would be filled with people I don’t know. I can’t think of many tortures worse than being sober in a room full of people who don’t know each other as they all get shit-faced together and bond over their own particular brand of drunkenness. Sam thrives in that kind of situation. Sometimes it still amazes me that we’re friends.