The Love Sucks Club(37)
Before she can answer, Voldemort pops her head out of the flap. She’s wearing cargo shorts and a t-back and she has a mesh bag in her hand.
“Hi,” she says, smiling. “I was hoping I could use your shower.”
Chapter Ten
Police in the States have a motto- To Protect and Serve. The Island police have a motto as well– Protect and Serve Yourself. After several failed attempts to get through to a live voice at the emergency number, I finally got someone to answer and my cell signal dropped the call. “I hate this fucking island,” I yell at the kitchen wall.
Roxanne smiles sympathetically over her shoulder. She’s decided that a pot of coffee is the best response to this situation. Standing on one foot with my neck craned toward the window, I redial the police and listen to the recording. “Jesus. I mean, what if I was being murdered?”
Shrugging, Roxanne finishes setting up the coffee and switches it on. “You’d be dead already? Your final gargled words would live in infamy on the Island police voice mail?”
“You are so funny.”
Roxanne looks up at a persistent knock on the door. Walking over to the window, she glances out, and then opens the door to admit Sam, relocking the door behind her.
Sam gestures over her shoulder back to the door. “I’m guessing you already know this, but your ex-girlfriend is brewing coffee on a camp stove in your front yard.”
“I’m aware.”
She grins. “There are so many ways to go with this. I’m not sure how to begin.”
Roxanne hands her a cup of coffee. “Well, since we’re all here, we could call this a meeting of The Love Sucks Club. Agenda item number one – Dana’s ex-girlfriend has decided to camp out in her yard for the foreseeable future. Action item ideas? Anyone?”
They both laugh and I raise my middle finger in their general direction. “I’m so glad that my miserable life is giving the two of you such pleasure.”
Sam grins and pops open a beer. “What the hell is she doing here anyway?”
“Last time I talked to her, which let me remind you was when she kidnapped me and threatened me, she was in danger of getting kicked out of her apartment. She wanted me to give her a loan so she could pay the rent.”
“You didn’t give her the money,” Roxanne says.
“Obviously. Why she can’t camp somewhere else is completely beyond me.”
Perched on my counter, Sam shrugs. “Well, it’s a relatively safe location. On the beach she’d have to worry about getting killed or robbed. This way, she can leave her stuff and it will be fine when she gets back.”
“It won’t be fine” I growl. “I’m going to pitch it all as soon as she leaves.”
Roxanne looks pained. “It’s just...”
“What, Roxanne?” I snap.
“She is so desperate that she has resorted to pitching a tent in her ex-girlfriend’s yard. Obviously something is really wrong.”
“Yeah, and whatever it is doesn’t involve me.”
Sam nods. “I agree. Dana doesn’t owe her anything.”
Listening to the police recording for the fifteenth time, I nod toward Sam. “Quite the opposite, in fact.”
“I just think we should try to find out what’s wrong. Maybe we can help in ways that don’t involve giving her money.”
“Rox, listen to me. She spent our entire relationship taking everything she could get from me. And I let her because I thought I deserved to be treated like that.”
“And now you know that you deserve better?”
“Now I don’t know what I deserve, but I don’t want to live with someone who treats me like shit. Not ever again.”
Sam stands up. “Want me to get rid of her?”
Holding up my hand, I motion her to wait. A live human being is finally talking to me on the phone. “Yes, police, thank you. I need a squad car sent to my house.”
“What’s the nature of your emergency?”
“A woman has set up her tent in my yard.”
I can hear the woman’s gum snapping in the long pause that follows my statement. “A woman has set up a tent in your yard?”
“Without my permission.”
“I see.”
“You probably don’t. She’s my ex-girlfriend and she threatened me earlier. Now she’s camping in my yard.”
“And she has threatened you?”
“Well, she wouldn’t let me out of her car earlier?”
“She forced you into her car?”
“Not exactly. I fainted and she put me in her car.”
Another long pause for the woman on the other end of the phone to chew her gum and digest what I’m telling her. “So she helped you into her car.”