The Forsyte Saga, Volume 3(317)

‘Oriel.’

And the conversation lapsed.

Some hay was stacked and some still lying out, and the mid-summer air was full of its scent.

‘I’m afraid,’ said Dornford suddenly, ‘I don’t want to go to Mass. I don’t get so many chances to be with you, Dinny. Let’s make for Clifton and sit in a boat.’

‘Well, it is rather lovely for indoors.’

They turned off to the left, and, passing through Dorchester, came to the river by the bend and bluffs at Clifton. Leaving the car, they procured a punt and after drifting a little, moored it to the bank.

‘This,’ said Dinny, ‘is a nice exhibition of high purpose, I don’t think. “Something done” isn’t always what was attempted is it?’

‘No, but it’s often better.’

‘I wish we’d brought Foch; he likes any kind of vehicle where he can sit on one’s feet and get a nice sick feeling.’

But in that hour and more on the river they hardly talked at all. It was as if he understood – which, as a fact, he did not – how, in that drowsing summer silence, on water half in sunlight, half in shade, she was coming closer to him than ever before. There was, indeed, to Dinny something really restful and reassuring in those long lazing minutes, when she need not talk, but just take summer in at every pore – its scent, and hum, and quiet movement, the careless and untroubled hovering of its green spirit, the vague sway of the bulrushes, and the clucking of the water, and always that distant calling of the wood pigeons from far trees. She was finding, indeed, the truth of Clare’s words, that he could ‘let one’s mouth alone’.

By the time they were back at the Grange, it had been one of the most silent and satisfactory mornings she had ever known. But between his: ‘Thank you, Dinny, a heavenly time,’ and his real feelings, she could tell from his eyes there was a great gap fixed. It was unnatural the way he kept his feelings in check! And, as became a woman, compassion soon changed in her to irritation. Anything better than his eternal repression, perfect consideration, patience, and long waiting! And all that afternoon she saw as little of him as she had seen much all the morning. His eyes, fixed on her with longing and a sort of reproach, became an added source of vexation, and she carefully refrained from seeming to notice them. ‘Verra pavairse,’ her old Scottish nurse would have said.

Bidding him ‘Good night’ at the foot of the stairs, she felt a keen pleasure at the dashed look on his face, and an equally keen sense that she was ‘a beast’. She entered her bedroom in a curious turmoil, at odds with herself, and him, and all the world.

‘Damn!’ she muttered, feeling for the switch.

A low laugh startled her. Clare, in her pyjamas, was perched on the window-seat, smoking a cigarette.

‘Don’t turn up, Dinny; come and sit here with me, and let’s puff out of the window together.’

Three wide-opened casements laid bare the night under a teazle-blue heaven trembling with stars. Dinny, looking out at it, said:

‘Where have you been ever since lunch? I didn’t even know you were back.’

‘Have a gasper? You seem to want soothing.’

Dinny expelled a puff of smoke.

‘I do. I’m sick of myself.’

‘So was I,’ murmured Clare, ‘but I feel better.’

‘What have you been doing, then?’

Again Clare laughed, and in the sound was something that made Dinny say:

‘Seeing Tony Croom?’

Clare leaned back and her throat showed pale.

‘Yes, my dear. The Ford and I went over. Dinny, we’ve justified the law. Tony no longer looks like a bereaved orphan.’

‘Oh!’ said Dinny, and again: ‘Oh!’

Her sister’s voice, warm and languid, and satisfied, made her cheeks go hot and her breath come quickly.

‘Yes, I prefer him as lover to a friend. How sane is the law – it knew what we ought to have been! And I like his converted cottages. Only there’s a fireplace upstairs that still wants opening up.’

‘Are you going to get married, then?’

‘My dear, how can we? No, we shall live in sin. Later, I suppose, we shall see. I think this “nisi” period is very thoughtful. Tony will come up in the middle of the week, and I shall go down at the week-end. And all so legal.’

Dinny laughed. Clare sat up, suddenly, clasping her knees.

‘I’m happier than I’ve been for ever so long. It doesn’t do to make other people wretched. Also, women ought to be loved, it suits them somehow. Men, too.’

Dinny leaned out of the window, and the night slowly cooled her cheeks. Beautiful and deep it was, out there, the shapes unstirring, dark and as if brooding. Through the tense stillness came a far drone, swelling to the rightful sound of a passing car, and, between the trees, she could see its travelling light burnish up the hedgerows for flying moments, and die beyond the angle of vision. Then the drone grew faint and fainter, and stillness recommenced. A moth flew by, and a little white feather from a fantail on the roof floated down, turning over in the quiet air. She felt Clare’s arm come round her waist.