The Forget-Me-Not Sonata(163)

‘Louis?’ Audrey asked.

‘He knows,’ she stated simply. ‘I know he knows. What I find most surprising is that I didn’t know. I seem to know so much about everyone else, but nothing about me.’

‘God works in mysterious ways,’ she said, kissing Cecil’s hand. She pressed her lips to his skin that still felt warm and soft. ‘God works in very mysterious ways.’





Chapter 34



October 1984

‘I feel cheated,’ Alicia said, sitting with her arms folded in the chair her father had always sat in. ‘I mean, you had barely told me that he was dying, Mummy, and then he was gone. Gone. I never got to say goodbye.’

‘Neither did I,’ said Leonora sadly.

‘That was the way he wanted it. He didn’t want anyone to fuss over him.’

‘Well, I still feel cheated and desperately sad,’ Alicia continued, wiping a large tear away with her glove. Grace rolled her eyes. Alicia had often told her that she had never felt close to him. As a child he was always working, then when they came to school in England she had only seen him once a year at Christmas. ‘Hardly the recipe for a close relationship,’ had been her exact words. But now of course, the opportunity for melodrama was too much to resist. She sat in her black funeral suit as if she were dressed for a London cocktail party. She was still single, still searching for that elusive dream and still getting nowhere.

Alicia had always been beautiful, but her youth had hidden all manner of evil behind the softness of her flesh and the flawlessness of innocence. As her youth had fallen away so the dark contours of her nature were revealed little by little in the sharpness of her features and the thinning of her once generous mouth. She still possessed an icy beauty. The chiselled, stony looks that turn heads and incite admiration. But bitterness had warped her and sucked the juice out of her face, leaving her dry and formidable but less able to bewitch.

Leonora, on the other hand, whose loveliness had always shone from within, now glowed with a mellow beauty, for her nature had softened the features that had once been plain. Grace admired her for she was happy. She didn’t yearn for more than she had or covet what others had; Florien and her children were all she needed along with the velveteen fields of the Dorset countryside. According to Grace, her one flaw was her blind devotion to her twin sister. However much Alicia grew into a grotesque parody of herself, Leonora still saw her the way she was as a child and nothing she could do could change that. She would always admire her.

And what of her? Grace sat dressed for her father’s funeral but as far as she was concerned he wasn’t in the coffin that awaited burial in the churchyard, but free to fly with the power of thought in the world of spirit. She knew, she had seen him depart and she had said her goodbye. Since then she had thought a lot about Louis. It didn’t seem odd at all that he was her biological father. They were so alike. In a way she was pleased. She already loved him as a dear friend, now he was closer to her than that. But nothing could change the past eighteen years and the immense goodness of Cecil, who had raised his brother’s child as his own, in spite of the adulterous love that had brought her into the world. She would miss him.

‘Ah, Florien,’ said Audrey as her son-in-law entered the sitting room.

‘Hello, Audrey,’ he said. His tone was sympathetic. He nodded at Alicia briefly before turning to his wife. ‘Leonora, the children are in the car. Are you ready?’

‘We’ll see you there,’ she said to her mother and sisters who were waiting for Anthony and Cicely to collect them in their car. When they were gone Alicia turned to her mother.

‘Someone should tell Leo to lose a bit of weight. She’d look much better if she lost a few pounds.’

‘Darling, Florien likes her that way,’ replied her mother.

‘And so do I,’ Grace added. Alicia sat back with a sigh. She didn’t feel comfortable in the same room as her little sister, there was something in her eyes that spooked her.

Finally Cicely tumbled in, hobbling on her high heels. ‘I’m sorry we’re late, I tripped over one of the blasted dogs. Sprained my ankle. Still, the show must go on. Are you all ready? You look like a trio of blackbirds.’

Audrey stood up stiffly. She felt old although she was only in her early fifties. But she felt old in her bones and old in her heart. Cecil had been such a large presence in the house, now that he was gone it felt empty, even with her daughters around to fill it. It echoed with his absence and was cold.

‘It’s a beautiful day for the funeral,’ she said.

‘Isn’t it lovely,’ Cicely agreed, limping out into the hall.