The Forget-Me-Not Sonata(161)

‘Do Alicia and Leonora know?’

‘I haven’t told them yet.’

‘Well you must. My God, we should all be here for him. It’s only after people die that we realize how much we love them. We mustn’t wait until then to show him how much he means to us all.’

‘Darling, you’re so sweet,’ she mused, noticing how she had grown less detached since she had gone to Dublin.

Grace read her mother’s expression. ‘It’s not right to be so heavenly minded as to be no earthly good,’ she replied with a wry smile. ‘Louis has taught me that.’ Audrey curled a stray curl behind Grace’s ear and smiled at her with tenderness.

‘Don’t mention your uncle to Daddy, my love. He’s weak.’

‘I understand. It’s okay,’ she replied. ‘Will you tell him that I know about his illness?’

‘I’ll tell him.’

‘And tell the twins. I don’t care how proud he is. The least we can do is be there for him now.’ Audrey nodded and embraced Grace again.

‘Play something else, my love. Something less sad. That tune just set me off. I’m sorry.’

‘I’ll play something positive,’ she said, sitting down on the stool once again. ‘Positive vibrations will make Daddy better.’ She wondered why it was that her sixth sense had failed her.

But the months rolled on and nothing could make Cecil better, not even Grace’s music nor her prayers. His health deteriorated like trees in autumn that shed their leaves one by one until their branches are bare and lifeless. It was meant to be. Destiny had brought him to the end of his journey and the world of spirit awaited him. But he was afraid.

‘I wish I could see the other side like you do, Grace,’ he said from his bed. ‘Then I would be certain of it.’ Audrey fluttered about him, nursing him with all the love and tenderness she could muster while Grace sat beside him on her mother’s side of the bed, trying to explain to him that death was simply going home.

‘Life is like a play. Death is only stepping off the stage, shedding your costume and returning to where we belong. It’s not oblivion. Trust me. I know.’

‘I’ve always thought you a little batty, Grace. I wish I could trust you.’ He chuckled then coughed and winced.

‘Oh, Daddy, does it hurt a lot?’

‘Not so bad, Grace,’ he replied. ‘Your mother’s magic pills dull the pain most of the time. I shall die on a high.’

‘Too many cigars,’ said Audrey, picking up his tray of tea and heading for the door. ‘I’ve got my father to blame for that.’

‘Cigars have nothing to do with it,’ he said gruffly. ‘I’m an old man, that’s all.’ He coughed again. ‘Audrey, stay a while, there’s something I want to tell Grace.’ Audrey went pale. She had suspected this moment might come and her heart lurched, not only because she dreaded her daughter’s reaction but because she knew now that death was very close. The tray began to shake in her hands as she turned and put it back down on the dressing table. She forced a smile and went and sat on the arm chair that stood beside the bed.

‘What do you want to tell her, my love?’ she asked, the muscles in her neck straining as she tried to mask her apprehension. The last few weeks had drained her of energy and emotion. She felt weary. But she knew by the light in his eyes that he wanted to tell her the truth.

Cecil took his daughter’s hand in his and looked at her with battle-weary eyes. He had spent many months deliberating whether or not to tell her the truth about her parentage. As much as it had hurt when Cicely had told him about her friendship with Louis he had forgiven his brother long ago. Now he was dying he wanted to leave everything settled. No more secrets. ‘I’m about to depart,’ he began dramatically, not knowing how to break it to her. Hoping, perversely, that such a revelation might make her happy. Audrey lowered her eyes in apprehension. ‘Your mother and I haven’t always been happy,’ he said carefully.

‘I know that, Daddy,’ Grace laughed. ‘Every marriage has its ups and downs.’

‘But your mother lost her heart to another man just before you were born.’

Grace narrowed her eyes and looked at her mother’s bowed head. ‘Go on,’ she said in a quiet voice.

Cecil sighed and his white cheeks stung with colour before draining just as quickly.

‘She had a brief affair during which time, my dear, you were conceived.’

Grace blinked at him in horror. She suddenly felt isolated, as if she didn’t belong to anyone. ‘So, you’re not my father?’