The Forget-Me-Not Sonata(153)

‘Didn’t he marry?’

‘I never believed it was possible to love just one person for your entire life. I never subscribed to that kind of romance. But,’ she sighed heavily and a little wistfully. ‘Louis has loved one woman all his life. He’s never got over her. He never looked at another.’

‘That’s so sad. Everyone deserves to love and be loved back. Without that the world wouldn’t turn.’

Aunt Cicely laughed. She never quite understood Grace. ‘You can go and cheer him up. You two will get on like a house on fire, you’re both up there in the clouds somewhere. Funny you haven’t already met.’

‘Mummy doesn’t want me to go.’

‘That’s because your sisters were sent away to school over here. Your mother suffered terribly over that, but your father believed he was giving them the best education money could buy. He was right too. If Leonora hadn’t come here she would never have met Florien and look how happy they are. That little Panazel is a dream. I could put him between two slices of bread and eat him up. Utterly charming little fellow. Mischievous too. I love him to pieces. His brother and sister are adorable as well, but I’ll always have a soft spot for Panazel. He was born in my house, you see. So I feel I have claim to him.’

‘You know Alicia’s never going to be happy,’ Grace said darkly.

Aunt Cicely paused her brush again. ‘Darling, you mustn’t say such things.’

‘Oh, I would never tell Alicia, or Mummy. I made that mistake once when I was very little with my cousin Nelly. She never spoke to me again. But I just know that she won’t. She’s chasing the impossible. Reaching for a cloud that she can never hold on to. Not even Alicia can pin down a cloud.’

‘I’m sure she’ll settle down one day.’

‘Oh, she’ll have many lovers. But no one will be good enough. She’ll always be discontent. It’s beginning to show on her face.’

Once again Grace was right. Alicia’s personality was beginning to seep into her features like a canker, pulling them down and drawing in her mouth so that she looked constantly pinched. Still beautiful but cold. Whereas Leonora grew more lovely as each day passed. She wasn’t slim or glamorous but earthy and radiant like a ripe peach. She brought up her three children with love and enthusiasm, teaching them about God’s great garden that was so close to her heart. They helped her gather the apples and plums, blackberries and sloes to sell in the market in town and in the summertime they’d picnic by the side of the cornfields so their father could jump down from his tractor and join them before racing off to unload the combines. Their life was simple, but they had everything that they needed and the most valuable possession of all they had in abundance: love. By comparison, Alicia had nothing.

Audrey worried the moment Grace was out of her sight. ‘She’s not like other children, Cecil, she’s a child in the body of a young woman,’ she said the night after Grace had left for Dublin. Cecil put his book down on the bed beside him and turned to face his wife.

‘She’s much more resilient than you think. She isn’t all fairies and angels, you know.’

‘Oh, I know she’s not completely in the clouds, but she’s childlike. I don’t believe she’s ready for the real world.’ She reached for her pot of hand cream from the bedside table.

‘She has to give it a try, for how else will she know,’ he replied, taking off his glasses.

‘I just want to protect her from everything.’ She pulled an apologetic smile to show that she was aware of her weakness.

‘And you wanted to protect Alicia and Leonora from everything too. She’s our youngest, it’s natural that you want to hold on to her.’

‘Do you think it’s that I don’t want her to grow up?’

‘You missed the twins growing up. That was my fault,’ he added in a quiet voice.

‘Oh, Cecil. I’m not blaming you for anything. That’s all water under the bridge.’ She patted him on the hand. ‘No, there’s something so ethereal about Grace. I feel she needs me more than the other two ever did.’

‘You know, Audrey,’ he said, shaking his head at her fondly. ‘You and Grace have a very touching relationship, but to tell you the truth, she’s stronger than Alicia and Leonora put together.’

‘You think so?’

‘I know she is. Look at her. Her beliefs are unwavering. She knows there’s a whole world out there waiting for us when we die. Although I’m not certain of it, it’s very comforting at my age that she’s so sure. That gives her a huge advantage over everyone else. She’s never needed anyone because she’s so content in her own skin. That’s a blessing. She’s not vulnerable. She’s unconquerable. She’ll never do anything that goes against her better judgement just to fit in, or do something silly because of some foolish infatuation. No, I believe that Grace is somehow closer to God than the rest of us, that’s why she’s childlike. It’s as if she’s aware that life is a stage. She doesn’t take it too seriously. I never thought I’d say that about Grace, she used to baffle me to the point of despair. But I’ve grown to understand her over the years. She’ll do all right. I really believe she will.’