The Fixed Trilogy(Fixed on You, Found in You, Forever With You)(281)

Liesl shot me a disapproving glance.

“Why is this not an ideal plan?” I’d hoped she’d be more supportive. Especially since parts of the idea were already in action.

“Because you have a history of being, you know...” She clicked her tongue and circled a finger in the air next to her head, the universal sign for psycho. “I’ll just say it. Cuckoo. You’ve been cuckoo. And I haven’t been to that many of your group thingies, but I seem to remember that snooping and prying and digging into people’s stuff are all on the no-no list.”

I shut my eyes so I wouldn’t be tempted to roll them. Liesl had been to a few of my meetings. I hadn’t realized she’d actually paid attention. “This is different.”

She nodded. “Yes, it is.” Then she stopped nodding and raised a brow. “How exactly?”

Inwardly I groaned. To me, the difference was obvious. “The other times it was a compulsion. I couldn’t help myself. This time, I’m choosing it. It makes it totally different.”

“Uh-huh. Totally different.” She didn’t seem convinced. “And why am I here? ‘Cause if you want me to tell you you’re not crazy, that’s not happening.”

“Then, well, fine. Think I’m crazy.” Liesl’s version of sanity wasn’t necessarily one for the textbooks anyway. “But I also need your help.”

Her eyes lit up. “You want me to take down that Selina bitch?” She punched a fist into her palm a few times.

“Celia,” I corrected. “What is with you and getting names wrong?”

“It’s fun to watch you get all I-know-everything and correct me.” She smacked her gum with a wide smile. “I really will take Ms. Celia Werner down if you want me to. I’ll kick her ass so hard she’ll lose that cute bubble butt of hers.” Without any guilt she added, “Yeah, I checked out her behind. Sue me.”

“Um, no. No ass kicking. Please.” Liesl could do it, though. She was a brute when she wanted to be. And wouldn’t that be awesome to see Celia with her pretty little face bruised and bloodied?

But that hadn’t been the help I’d needed from Liesl. I had another plan in mind. Perching on the coffee table next to where she sat on the floor, I put on my puppy dog eyes. “I was hoping you could come with me to see someone.”

“Oh, Jesus. You’re trying to convert me to stalking too?”

“There’s no stalking.” It wasn’t in the plan, anyway. “I just need to talk to a lady that doesn’t want to talk to me. I’m hoping if I’m not alone, she might be more amicable.”

Liesl grinned, obviously flattered with the request. “You think I’m intimidating, don’t you? You want me to intimidate the fuck out of her.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Her smile widened.

Then it fell. “God, I don’t know, I don’t know!” She stood up and began walking in a circle. “The whole thing seems really fun. And I want to be a good friend. But I’m not sure if I should be supporting you or putting up a big fat stop sign in your path.” She brought her hands to her forehead, massaging her temples. “What to do, what to do? Maybe we should call Brian.”

I flew up from the table. “You should be supporting me. Please! And we don’t need to call Brian.” I heaved a lungful of air out, trying to calm down. My plan could work without Liesl’s help, but I needed her to understand, at least. Needed her to realize how close to the edge I was, how, as far as I was concerned, this was my last chance. My last chance at sanity.

“Okay. You might be right—this might not be the healthiest of ideas.” I waited until Liesl’s eyes were on mine before continuing. “But here’s the thing—if I don’t take some control over this limbo state that my relationship is in, then I’m going to end up doing the stalking and obsessing and all of that anyway. I’m being proactive. I’m taking a stand for once instead of letting a guy walk all over me. Because if not this, I only have two other choices—let Hudson and me stay in this ‘time apart’ mode, which is asinine and unproductive and really leaves me as a doormat. Or break up. And I’m not ready to lose him.” My lip trembled with the raw honesty. “And I don’t think he’s ready to lose me. Or he would have ended things already.”

Liesl’s eyes grew compassionate. But also concerned. “You are so overthinking this, Laynie.”

I threw my hands emphatically to the side. “No! I’m not. I’m fighting for the guy I love.” My eyes stung with the tears that seemed to be ever-present as of late. “Yes, I’m pissed that he’s not fighting for me, but maybe he doesn’t know how to fight for anyone. Maybe he needs me to show him.”