The First Last Boy(6)

I suspected he was working something, but trying to pry it out of him  wouldn't do any good. He'd talk when he was ready. "Have you seen the  others?"

He shook his head. "Destiny said Clarke and Roman were working late."

That didn't make sense. I looked at my watch. "The warehouse is letting  them pull doubles? They told me they were working this morning."

"I am not my brothers' keeper, brother." He looped his arm across my shoulder. "Coop okay?"

"No, but he will be."

"He should've learned. I keep telling y'all not to mess with rich pussy.  Poor pussy's grateful for the attention. Rich pussy can afford to be  choosy."

I pushed against him. "You're so fucked up, you know that, right?"

"That's beside the point." Juvante laughed. "You keep hanging with Tana, you're gonna see what I mean about rich pussy."

I hit his shoulder and he stumbled away, rubbing his arm and looking at me in surprise.

"Don't talk like that. Not Tana."

He whistled, then shook his head. "You and I have been through some shit  and we've never let a girl come between us before. You're going get all  twisted up over a girl? I like Tana, you know I do, but you better  leave that alone. You don't want to be a rich pussy's bitch."         

     



 

"I'm not playing. Leave Tana out of it."

"Alright, man. Alright, I get it. Tana's off the table, but don't say I  didn't warn you. Girls that get in here," He smacked his hand over my  heart. "They always fuck with this." He tapped my head and then jogged  off ahead of me.

He was blowing smoke. I cared about Tana and I cared more than I ever  had for any other girl, but I wasn't in love with her and never would be  so she'd never be able to fuck with my heart or my head. I pushed  thoughts of Tana away and walked back to the house and right before I  stepped onto the porch, I looked up at the inky black sky. So many  nights I'd lain in an abandoned house staring through the holes in the  roof at the sky, wondering if that would be the day my luck ran out.

I'd come to live with Mama Leena when I was fifteen, right before I'd  found Tana in the park. I admired Mama's belief that life was full of  possibilities, that everyone deserved a second chance, but reality told a  different story. Some of us were marked from the day we were born. We  treaded time until we ended up on an autopsy table, gray and naked while  some cop bragged about how he'd taken one of the fuckers down. Just  like in that alley with Donny.





Chapter Three

TANA



I had this thing I did every Saturday that my mom and Creature didn't  know about. While she took him with her to run errands and pay the  bills, I'd take a detour before I went to the grocery store. I'd head  toward our old neighborhood near the Caldwell Institute of Arts.

I know that some people, those too ignorant to know better, thought  Caldwell was just a hell-hole where bad things happened twenty-four  seven. But it was no different than any other city. There were  neighborhoods you didn't want to be a part of, those that you longed to  be a part of, and the ones sandwiched in the middle.

I slowed the Honda as I turned onto our former street and took a breath.  The death of my old life and the birth of my new one had taken place  just up ahead at the three million dollar French Renaissance mansion.  With over 12,000 square feet, fifteen rooms, and a carriage house out in  the back, you would think that in this mansion, the people were happy  as well as rich.

Oh, we had a ton of money then. But we were all so very poor. My father  worshipped at the altar of the green god and when your god is money, you  must keep sacrificing more of your life to him so that he doesn't get  angry. When you do screw up and he curses you, he gives you stress and  pressure and the ability to become a screaming monster. He gives you  glass balls to add to your juggling act and demands you push yourself  even harder to please him.

You cut corners. You lie, cheat, and steal and in the end when all those  glass balls fall and the money is lost, you are too. The investment  business went belly up and with my father's hand up his puppet-ass, his  attorney told the judge everything had been lost-everything but the few  million he'd managed to hide in an offshore bank account in the Bahamas  that we could never prove he had.

I didn't make this trek because I longed for my old life. I did it to  remind myself I was a better person and how far I'd come since then. I  wanted to remember that the old me, the girl caught up in material  things in an attempt to deal with all the mind games her father played,  wasn't who I was any more. I wanted to remember that I'd survived a time  in my life that had been so destructive that the then fifteen-year-old  me didn't think I would make it. Remembering made me feel stronger.

Today, I had another motive for returning to my old stomping grounds. I  wanted to visit my former doctor. She had Saturday hours and I knew she  wouldn't mention to my mom that I wanted a prescription for birth  control pills like the doctor closer to my house might since she and Mom  were friends.

I did a quick calculation in my head. It would take me ten to fifteen  minutes to get to the doctor's office beside Caldwell Medical Center,  another ten to fifteen to wheedle a prescription and then the trip back.  I would have to rush through the grocery shopping. Even though I was  eighteen, Mom still treated me like I was a lot younger. Exasperated,  I'd called her on it once.

She'd blinked and looked at me, smiled sadly and whispered that time was  a thief who'd stolen her daughter. Then she'd gone to her room and  cried, so I never pointed it out again.

Thirteen minutes later, I whipped the car into a parking spot, snatched  my purse and hopped out. Losing my virginity was part of my life list.  Next was college, then after I graduated, I planned to backpack through  parts of Europe. I'd make sure to do it during the summer so I could  take Creature with me. When he was four, he used to beg me to take him  "anywhere, everywhere" and I'd promised him I would.         

     



 

I walked into the doctor's office and greeted the receptionist. Today  was just the beginning. Every good thing that I wanted was going to come  true, exactly as I'd planned. I looked forward to the future I was  creating for myself instead of the one life had tried to hand me.

After I had the prescription in hand, I left the doctor's office and  stopped by the pharmacy. From there, I went to the ice cream place that I  used to frequent all the time. It's where I'd first met Tristan. His  grandparents owned the place and he'd always kind of hung out there. I  walked up to the counter and placed my order. As soon as I'd paid and  walked over to one of the tables to wait for my cone, I heard my name  called in a surprised voice.

When I turned around, I came face to face with my past. Tristan. He  still wore the same preppy clothes, still had the same perfectly styled  blonde hair and not a lock of it was out of place.

His lip curved up into what I'd once thought was a sexy smile but now  just looked like a leer. "Babe, you are..." He waved his hand up and  down my figure. "Amazing."

I hadn't seen him in years. My hair was longer, my skin clearer, and I'd  lost the few extra pounds I'd carried back then. Plus, even though  summer had just started, I was already sporting a light tan. While I  would never qualify as beautiful, I did have a confidence now that I  didn't have back then thanks to learning that I could go through hell  and still be able to stand. "Tristan."

How had I never noticed before how soft and boyish he looked? Or the  ugly gleam in his eyes? The thought of being with him made my skin  crawl. I was so thankful I'd never crossed that line with him. He was  boy where Ryan was man, weak where Ryan was strong, cowardly where Ryan  was courage. I smiled at the thought of Ryan.

I guess Tristan took that as encouragement because he stroked my arm.  "I'm having a party at my house tonight. Why don't you come?"

I had no desire to be around him or my former friends and was about to  tell him that when he said, "I have a date, but I'll ditch her. We can  use my room and I'll whisper all the things I plan to do to you before I  show you. We have some unfinished business, remember?"

Did I ever remember. On our last evening together, he'd showed up at my  house drunk, talked about how much he was going to miss me, given me a  sloppy kiss and passed out on my bed before anything could happen.  Judging from the photos I'd seen on Instagram, he'd missed me for less  than a day before he'd moved on.

I crossed my arms to get away from his touch. "Unfinished business?"

He leaned in. "Come on, you know what I mean. It'll be great. We were the perfect couple."

I wasn't one for retaliation or karma or whatever. Life was too short  for getting even drama. I'd never felt the need for any kind of payback  toward Tristan. So I don't know why I said, "Sure. Is it okay if I bring  friends?"