The Exception(108)

JADA

I sat on the couch in the living room the next morning, nursing my cup of coffee and trying to figure out what to do. I had managed to avoid the question of going home the night before. It was fairly easy because Cane kept my mind and body occupied most of the night. But it was a new day and I knew it was do or die time.

A decision is going to have to be made.

I knew, without a doubt, that Cane was the love of my life. Even as I thought back to Decker, I never loved him like I loved Cane. But, just like it was with Decker, my love wasn’t the problem. It wasn’t my feelings that had me questioning everything. It was his.

He was acting like everything was fine, that he was in love with me. But I was worried, sick even, that it was just because he felt relieved that Simon was behind bars … and guilty for putting me in such a precarious position.

He had lied to me. He had kept things from me. He seemed like he was pulling away from me … and Ashley had been in his office.

Those sorts of things are exactly what Decker did before the end. If things with Cane ended up like they did with my ex-husband, I would be completely and utterly destroyed. Gutted. Annihilated.

I sat my coffee cup down on the table and put my head into my hands, praying that I would wake up and this would all be sorted out and that someone would make the decision for me. But I knew that wouldn’t happen.

I felt him watching me before I could see him, his gaze causing the little neurons in my body to go spastic. I sat up not looking up as I felt him come closer.

The sofa dipped with his weight as he sat beside me, not giving me a choice but to look. He sat there, wrapped from the waist below in a purple towel, watching me intently.

“Good morning, beautiful girl.”

I smiled softly, his grin crushing me. My heart was heavy, like it was being jerked around by a set of strings I couldn’t control.

“Max just sent me a text to make sure I made it through the night,” he winked, trying to lighten the situation. “I told him so far so good.”

“He and Kari are leaving today, right?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yeah. They are on their way to the airport now, I think.”

I looked at the floor again, my heart beginning to sink. I wasn’t ready to think about everything else. With Kari and Max leaving, it was going to be a matter of time, minutes perhaps, until Cane wanted to go back to Arizona. I just wasn’t sure what to do. If I go back, am I going to be throwing myself into the same dynamic I have been trying to avoid? But if I don’t, will I regret it? Possibly for the rest of my life?

“What? What’s going on?” He took my hands in his and squeezed. “Jada, talk to me.”

“I know Simon is gone now, but … even before I left, before all of the Simon stuff came to light to me,” I raised my eyebrows, driving home my point, “I was worried.”

“About what?”

“That you were pulling away. Maybe it was because of Simon, since you obviously knew more than I did. Or maybe your new project at work. I don’t know. But then Ashley in your office just set fire to that little bit of insecurity that had been trying to turn into a wildfire on its own.”

“No. That’s crazy talk.”

I forced a swallow. “Crazy or not, that’s what I’m thinking. You asked.” I spun my ring on my finger.

“Yes, I knew about Simon when you did not and I had a lot going with that. Yes, my new project at work has been a giant pain in the fucking ass, but it will be worth it in the end.” He stroked my cheek with his thumb, his voice softening. “But the Ashley thing is bullshit. Plain and fucking simple.”

I smiled shakily, almost afraid to believe what he was saying.

Like he could read my thoughts, Cane smiled. “Believe it.”

“I want to. I never wanted anything more than I do for this to work, but—”

“But?” He sat upright, the fire back in his eyes. The Cane I remembered was back. “There are no fucking buts, Jada. I’m sick and tired of feeling like my life is over. I haven’t seen the sun shine since you left. I didn’t know what it even looked like until I saw you in that little restaurant and I never want to go a day without it now.”

He took a deep breath. “I should have been honest with you from the start. But I wasn’t. And I take responsibility for that. But I’m also taking responsibility for our future, Jada. Our future. Because my future doesn’t exist if you aren’t in it.”

The tears I had been fighting welled up again.

“I may not be perfect but I am real, Jada. I’m going to fuck up again, probably. But I told you once I would never hurt you on purpose and I haven’t. And I won’t. Ever.”