The Ends of the World (The Conspiracy of Us #3)(79)

"If it was entirely up to me, I'd want you to stay, of course," I said evenly. "But there's a lot more to it than that. Whatever you choose, I understand." 

He rested his elbows on his knees. I finally saw what was in his hand: a small red block. It must have been what Anya had been playing with upstairs. "Thank you," he said. "I don't think you know how much I appreciate you letting me make that choice."

"Yeah," I said as a girl whose choices had been made for her her whole life. "I do."

The expression on Stellan's face was one I could only call tortured. From my side, he was leaving me, but from his side, it was more than that. He was leaving nearly everyone he cared about to keep one person safe. I'd been comparing my own decision to stay or go to my mom's, but really, his was exactly like the one she'd made seventeen years ago. He sat up and shifted, and his knee touched mine.

"There are so many toys here," he said, holding out the block. "Every time I go upstairs, Anya has a new favorite thing. And I've known Dahlia, the nanny, for years. Anya trusts her already. Which is especially fortunate since I have no clue how to take care of a seven-year-old girl."

That was not something he should worry about. He'd learn fast. I shifted closer so my hip touched his. As we watched Japan declare a state of emergency on TV, and the United States close its borders, "just until things are cleared up," he settled his hand on my thigh.

Stellan's forearms, like the rest of him, were slim but hard, powerful and graceful. I put a hand over his and traced the map of veins and scars and scrapes there. His long fingers tightened on my leg.

I was just about to decide that there were worse ways to spend what could be my last evening on this planet when he said, "Why did you come to Russia? You didn't have to."

My fingers tightened over his. "I-"

The doors to the library burst open. Stellan smoothly moved his hand, and Luc, Colette, and Elodie burst inside, carrying a pyramid of multicolored macarons, topped off with sparklers.

"Bon anniversaire!" they shouted.





CHAPTER 23



What is this?" I scrambled to my feet.

"I heard there's a very important birthday today." Elodie batted a spark away from Colette's hair. "I guess the birthday girl forgot to tell us."

"You guys, no," I protested as they brought the macaron cake to the coffee table in front of me and the sparklers sizzled and flashed. "We can't have a party with all this going on."

Elodie pointed a finger in my face. "Avery June West. Korolev. Whatever. If you're going to be part of the Circle, you have a very important lesson to learn, and that's that you sometimes have to take your happiness where you can find it. The world is literally falling apart. There is nothing we can do about it tonight besides what we've already done and planned."

"And-sorry, but it's true-you might die tomorrow," Luc added. Everyone frowned at him. "We all might! The Circle could turn on us at any moment. An asteroid could hit Paris. There could be a zombie apocalypse! Who knows?"

Elodie nodded. "Exactly. So we could sit around all night and worry, or we could have a party."

She and Luc high-fived solemnly.

"I-" I didn't know what to say. Colette and Luc took it as agreement and broke into the happy birthday song in French. I tried in vain to blow out the sparklers.




       
         
       
        
We ate macarons, and they gave me presents. I had no idea how they'd done all of this without me knowing.

Colette got me white slippers so pretty and fluffy, I could hardly imagine they were meant for feet. "Because stilettos are fun," she said, "but no one actually likes wearing them for more than a few minutes." I kicked off my shoes and put the slippers on.

Jack handed me a folded piece of paper. I opened it to find a stick figure drawing of what looked like two people fighting a dragon. "I drew this when I was ten," he said. "Fitz found it and gave it to me. The girl's you. Or, it's Allie Fitzpatrick, anyway. I thought you were pretty great back then. Not that I don't think you'd be able to fight a dragon these days, because you could," he said quickly.

We told the story of Fitz's setting us up when we were kids, of Allie Fitzpatrick and Charlie Emerson. "Thanks," I said quietly, and Jack just inclined his head, and I could feel a moment, just a moment, of what might have been. But this was how we should be, and I knew it. "Thank you," I said again.

Elodie got me a new knife. Its handle looked like pearl, with gold-and-silver inlay. Elodie showed me how to close it. "Easier to carry," she said. "But still plenty deadly. You can stick it in your bra when you don't want anyone to know it's there."