The Doctor's Fake Nanny(46)

Oh God, what have I gotten myself into? A sob escaped her lips. And I'm carrying his baby!

The events of the last two days, finding out she was pregnant, the  whispers behind her back at the café, and now this, all of it suddenly  took their toll and she slumped onto the table.

The thought of him with all these women was like a stab into her heart.  It made her feel dirty …  tainted …  insignificant. She wasn't enough for  him. He had to find pleasure with so many other women.

When the tears came, it was like molten rock that had accumulated,  begging for release. Her body trembled as the hot tears streamed down  her face. She felt betrayed, lied to, and made a fool.

She cried for all the times they made love and the sanctuary she felt in  his arms. She wept for the words he whispered in her ears. She bawled  her heart out because she was willing to believe she'd finally found  someone who thought she was special, yet it was all a lie. Tristan was  not who she thought he was and the idea horrified her. He was stringing  her along. She was an easy lay, someone convenient to have around. And  worst of all, she came without a price tag. She even declined his offer  to help with her mom's medical expenses, for Christ's sake. He must be  laughing behind her back.

I'm so stupid …  I'm so fucking stupid, she chided herself..

The accusation was more painful because this was not just about Tristan  being rich and never mentioning it to her. This was not just about him  going out and having sex with all these women. This was not even about  her being pregnant with his child.

As much as she wanted to deny it, she knew it with certainty: she had fallen in love with him.

Cassidy swayed as she allowed the truth to wash over her. She knew the  first time she laid eyes on him at the café. She'd waged a losing battle  the moment she began to hope. Every day that she spent with him made  that hope grow. It encompassed her entire being so much so that the pain  right now was unbearable.

She doubled over in her grief. Crying left her tired and exhausted. When  all the tears were depleted, she left the room and went back upstairs  to her office. She gathered all her belongings and without saying a  word, she left.

Outside, the streets of New York were vibrant with their neon lights all  aglow. The buildings towered into the sky, their glass windows blinking  like fireflies in the night. The sidewalks were filled with countless  pedestrians moving quickly to their destinations. The air felt hot and  humid with a promise of rain. It was an animated city, full of life.

But for Cassidy Johnson, New York City no longer held the promise that  she'd once thought. She was like a grain of sand in an infinite  shoreline. She had to leave the city and free herself from the clutches  of obscurity that threatened to overwhelm her. She had to be strong for  the life that had taken seed inside her belly. And she had to learn to  do it alone.

***

The suitcase snapped into place as Cassidy Johnson bolted it firmly  shut. The sound of the latch seemed so final. She had been dreading this  day for some time now, but she realized she couldn't postpone it any  longer. She had to leave today or she might never have the courage to do  so.

She glanced at the sleeping form lying so peacefully in the crib beside  her bed. The sight of Dee never failed to evoke that warm protective  feeling that only a mother could feel for her baby. She was cherubic  with downy hair that was slowly turning into a rich brown color. Her  cheeks, wide- spaced and plump as red apples, were moving rhythmically  with the reddish lips that were sucking a chubby thumb.

Cassidy drew closer, avoiding the loose floorboard that creaked. She  didn't want to disturb the sleeping baby girl. The first blush of dawn  was barely visible in the sky outside her window, and she had a few  minutes to spare before she crept out of the house.                       
       
           



       

She stood by the edge of the crib, drinking in every feature like she  was lost in a hot parched desert. The thought of being away from Dee was  gut-wrenching, but Cassidy vowed the separation was only temporary. She  had to go back to New York and look for a job if she wanted to be able  to support her. Cassidy was grateful her mom and dad encouraged the  idea, and they looked forward to caring for the baby while she was away.

Mom said Dee was a miracle that came into their lives. The thought of  having a grandchild brought her so much pleasure and joy that her cancer  went into remission. She said she'd never felt better, while Dad  declared that having the baby with them while Cassidy was away gave them  a new purpose in life.

Dee stirred slightly in her sleep as a ghost of a smile formed on her  angelic face. Cassidy watched, fascinated at the serene and innocent  face as her mind traveled back to that day a year ago …





Chapter Nine




Cassidy stood outside the door of Dr. Perry's office, terrified and  confused, her body shaking uncontrollably, but determined to go through  with it. She wanted an abortion done quickly. That was the only  solution, she thought. No one knew she was pregnant, not even the father  of her child.

Summoning her courage, she twisted the doorknob and entered the  reception area to the doctor's clinic. The room was empty except for the  nurse who was flicking through a magazine and sitting behind the  counter. She looked up and gave Cassidy a smile.

Please don't, mommy. Please give me a chance.

Cassidy whipped her head about, in search of the voice. It sounded like a  whispered plea inside her mind. She stood frozen in her tracks.

"Yes, Miss …  can I help you?" the nurse asked, noting the stricken look on her face.

"I-I-I … " Cassidy stuttered.

"You came to see Dr. Perry?"

"Yes …  I …  I …  No! No! No! I can't do it."

Cassidy slowly backed towards the door, pulled it open, and ran as fast  as her legs could carry her. She was out of breath when she came to a  halt and staggered to a nearby bench. Her mind was in turmoil. The  discovery of Tristan's numerous indiscretions with the escort girls at  the agency where she worked drove her insane. Now she was racked with  guilt for even thinking about aborting her baby.

Why? Why? Why, oh, Tristan, why? She wept, burying her head in her hands.

The sobs that shook her body were a futile attempt to wash away the  knowledge that he was a sex addict. Recognizing him in the video and  discovering that part of his personality was flawed was a cruel twist of  fate. Coupled with Brian's revelation that her boyfriend was a  billionaire, Cassidy wondered what else did she not know about the man  with whom she was in love.

Eventually the tears dried up and she came to a decision. She didn't  want an abortion, but she had to leave New York City. It was the best  thing to do. She would collect her things at Tristan's apartment before  he returned. She never wanted to see him again. He didn't have to know  about the baby she was carrying. Ron was taken by surprise over her  sudden decision to leave the café.

"If this is about the girls giving you shit for having a rich boyfriend,  I'll deal with it. They're probably just envious over your luck, Cass."

Cassidy shook her head.

It wasn't just about the girls giving her strange looks and talking  behind her back - like it was her fault her boyfriend happened to be a  billionaire. No one believed she didn't know about that. Her explanation  that she thought Tristan had rich parents sounded lame in her ears.  Even Brian, the nerdy newcomer at the café, was skeptical she didn't  know anything about the man she was sleeping with. He repeated like a  mantra that Tristan Jones-Dell, IT expert, and owner of the largest  warehouse in Silicon Valley, was a billionaire.

"You sure you're not gonna change your mind about leaving?" Ron asked,  handing her an envelope with cash inside. "Gossip will go away, Cass.  You don't have to leave, you know."

Cassidy knew she had to leave, though. This gossip would definitely not  go away. Not with a belly that would eventually announce to the whole  world that she was pregnant. No. Things would just get more complicated.

She took a bus to the Upper East Side and walked the few blocks to the  apartment building where Tristan lived. She prayed he hadn't returned  while she was away. The interior of the house was dark but she knew her  way around. She entered the bedroom that she shared with him. Her heart  felt heavy regret at the thought of what she was leaving behind. She  collected her belongings, and as she made her way out, she glanced once  again at the prints he had pinned on the wall. Even to her amateur eyes  she knew these were amazing photographs.