The Doctor's Fake Nanny(29)

"I don't know how to answer that. I didn't get any proof, if that's what you mean."



"No shit. You didn't get any because it doesn't exist. What you did,  however, was entirely unethical and I can't see the board being too  pleased by your actions. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to  give you forty-eight hours to resign on your own, or I'm going to let  everyone know exactly what you've done. Then we'll see how valuable you  really are to this hospital."



"They won't get rid of me. They won't."



"Are you sure about that? I hope you are, because I am not playing  around here. Now if you're done, get the fuck out of my office. Don't  come near it again. I won't be so friendly the next time I see you."                       
       
           



       



He looked at me like he was trying to decide whether or not I was  serious. I was. Most serious threat I'd ever made in my life. A man only  has so much restraint, and mine was just about used up. The good doctor  must have been able to see it, too, because he stood up so quickly he  almost knocked over my chair and walked to the door quickly. He didn't  look back in my direction and he didn't tell me what he planned on  doing. Truthfully, I didn't care. I just wanted him out and he would be,  whether of his own volition or mine.



For the first time since learning about Kayla's real past, I was really  alone. Suddenly I felt very, very tired. I laid my head down briefly on  my crossed arms, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep. I couldn't,  though. Not yet. I had one more thing left to do. I grabbed my phone,  feeling more inclined to hurl it across the room than to make a call,  but that wasn't an option either.



"David! Oh my god, I'm so glad you called. Please, please say you're willing to talk to me."



"I don't see how to avoid it, Kayla," I said as gruffly as possible into  the phone, "but I can't leave for home at the moment and I don't want  you in the hospital. I can meet you at the cafe across the street. If  that's convenient for you."



"Of course, anything you want. David … "



But I didn't wait to hear the last of her sentence. I hung up the phone,  feeling dead. Nothing was going to be the same now. It seemed so, so  stupid to have ever made plans in my head with a woman I didn't really  know.





Chapter Seventeen


Kayla



"Thank you. I think it's important to say that. Thank you for even being willing to see me. To let me explain."



David didn't say a word, just sipped his cup of black coffee and looked  at me with dark eyes I couldn't even begin to read. God, if someone had  told me at the start of this whole dismal plan that I would be sitting  in this position at any point I would have thought that someone was  insane.



But here I was, looking at Dr. David Wyatt and wanting nothing more than  his forgiveness and, if I was far luckier than I deserved, his love.  But how was I supposed to fix this? How did I make up for what I had  done, especially when he wasn't even speaking?



"David, I don't know what to say. What can I say? I'll do anything."



"Anything?"



His voice was hard and condescending, a tone he had never taken with me.  It hurt as much as if he had physically slapped me across the face, but  it was what I deserved.



I didn't know how I had convinced myself that Dr. Johnson's plan was a  good one, but having it found out showed it for what it really was.  Utterly despicable. Even having this conversation at all was probably a  lost cause but I had to try. I had never loved a man like I loved David.  I couldn't imagine him leaving my life after such a short amount of  time. It felt like another death and I felt almost positive that it  would kill me. It would simply be too much for me to handle, even if it  was what I deserved.



"Yes? I mean, anything that might stop this explosion."



"You would, wouldn't you? Do anything, I mean. I guess I should know  that already. You've proved that much. You sure as hell don't have any  qualms with lying to a person, so morality must be pretty flexible for  you."



It made me feel like I was going to throw up, hearing him talk to me  like that. It was more painful than I could possibly have imagined, and  yet I was also starting to get angry in my own right.



He did have some pretty intense pain killers in his house. That wasn't  like having a bottle of aspirin lying around, at least for most people.  And what was the point of this? Did he just want to hurt me because I  had hurt him? I knew that I had done something awful but I still wasn't  prepared to be his punching bag. Not if there was absolutely no hope of  reconciliation.



"David, why did you bring me here? Is it just to beat up on me?"

"Beat up on you? That's a pretty indignant word for you to be using  right now. But no, it isn't. I didn't expect it to be so hard seeing you  and I don't know how long I can stay. I just wanted to tell you that I  had a conversation with Dr. Johnson after you left. He came to see me in  my office."



My body went numb and it felt like all of my blood had moved up into my  head. For a moment I thought I might pass out right there at the table  but it passed. I guess I wasn't lucky enough for that. I didn't say  anything. I couldn't. It felt like my mouth had been filled with cement.                       
       
           



       



"Kayla. Do you understand what I'm saying? You know him, right?"



"Yes," I said in a pathetic whisper.



"So it's true."



"Yes."



"So walk me through it, Kayla. How does a person do something like that?  How, when you were living in my house and playing with my daughter?"



"I don't know! It wasn't something I planned. It wasn't my idea. He came  to me and told me that my sister was dead because of you. He said you  had a pill habit that made you neglect your work."



"And because some man you didn't know told you that you just believed  him? That was enough for you to screw up my entire life, even when you  knew I had a daughter? I thought kids were the most important thing to  you. Or was that a lie too?"



"No! It wasn't a lie and I didn't want to ruin anyone's life. But,  David, my sister died. You gave her some medication and said it would  make her better, and instead she died! And you want to know the worst  part? You don't even remember her. I told you her entire story and you  still didn't remember her."



"So then what you did is excused? It was totally justified?"



"No, but you aren't the only victim here! Don't you get that? All of us  are, me included. Haven't you ever made a bad decision because you were  so heartbroken you felt like you couldn't possibly make it through  another day? And you did have those pills, David.



You did, the exact ones he said you would have. And I never told him  that, in case you're wondering. I didn't tell him because I loved you  and I knew you couldn't have done what he said you did."



I felt like he almost heard me when I said those things and maybe  everything would be okay, but then his eyes went cold again and I knew  it wasn't over. It felt like a nightmare. I was in the twilight zone and  I couldn't get out, no matter how hard I tried.



"You went through my medicine cabinet? That's great, Kayla, that's fucking fantastic. You know those pills you saw?



Those were a prescription. I didn't steal them and I didn't have someone  write the script for me. They were an actual prescription made out for  me by a doctor after my brother died. Remember? My brother died, too,  and my work is very important to me so I wanted to heal my leg as  quickly as possible. That bottle was given to me two years ago and I  never finished it. So that should tell you what you need to know."



"But you don't understand, I don't need to know anything. I had no idea  who you were when Dr. Johnson came to me and I made a mistake. I would  do anything to take that back, but I can't.



I just can't. But that was the only lie. I know it's a big one, but  everything else is real. The way I feel about you? I love you, David.  I've never said that to a man before but I'm saying it now, even after  all of the shit that happened today. I love you and Sophie both and I  don't know what I'll do if I lose you."



I couldn't think of anything else to say. I had said it all. There was  nothing left to do but wait and see what would come of it. It was  killing me that I had no control over the outcome, that a bad decision I  had made before I ever really got to know David was probably going to  take him away from me.



All I could think about was how if I had known the last time he kissed  me or put his hands on me was going to be the last, I would have done it  differently. I would have memorized all of it, preserved it in amber to  bring out again once I was alone. I just wanted him to speak. I needed  him to tell me if there was still a shot or not. I needed him to put me  out of my misery.