The Dinosaur Feather(106)

She had been angry with Helland, Tybjerg, and Johannes. Johannes, who massaged her shoulders when she had slept badly. Johannes, who listened gently and attentively and made her laugh. Her rage triumphed every time. It made no sense. Why was she so angry? She put her mug on the floor and pressed her knees into her eyes. The fire was roaring now and warmed her thighs.

She got up, feeling livid. No way did she want to be angry with her child! Children couldn’t handle that! A child loves because it feels loved.

Anna studied the photo of Cecilie, Jens, and her younger self, a girl with sparkling eyes. Noted the contrast between her parents’ smiling mouths and their sad eyes; stared at her own, oblivious innocence. Something had happened back then. She would visit Ulla Bodelsen tomorrow. A child loves because she feels loved.


Her interview at the police station on Friday morning lasted just under two hours. Søren was clean-shaven, and his treatment of her was equally smooth. Nothing in his behavior revealed he had tucked her daughter in bed and held her hard by the shoulders last night. Another officer was present during the interview; perhaps that explained why. She left just after twelve and had an hour and a half before her train to Odense. She was in need of fresh air and decided to walk down Frederikssundvej. It was cold and a couple of birds on the pavement couldn’t even be bothered to take off when Anna walked past them.

Further down the street she noticed a man who reminded her of Troels. Karen hadn’t mentioned him, and Anna had avoided the subject completely. But perhaps she had to face it at last? Maybe it was time to get in touch with him and apologize for what she had said? Even though she didn’t feel genuinely sorry? Handsome Troels. Anna stared—surely she was seeing things? How could anyone look so much like him? It couldn’t possibly be him. Troels wouldn’t just show up out of nowhere, after ten years, on Frederikssundvej; there was no way he could know that Anna would be there or that she had got back in touch with Karen the day before. That simply couldn’t happen.

But there he was. He was standing outside a grocery store, casually, as though he was waiting for a cab on the corner of Second Avenue and Fifty-eighth Street. Troels stared into the distance, across the road, across the cars, and Anna tried to follow his gaze. She just had time to think that he was posing, that he must have seen her and was now trying too hard to pretend he hadn’t, when he turned his head and looked straight at her.

“Hi, Anna!” he exclaimed, astonished. “Wow, Anna, hi!” he said again. His voice sounded delighted and genuine, and Anna couldn’t help laughing when she embraced him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she said into his oilskin jacket. It smelled of nicotine.

“I was just wondering,” Troels laughed, squeezing her, “if Anna Bella Nor had learned to speak like a lady or whether she still swears like a sailor! How are you? I hear you’ve become a dinosaur expert, or an archaeologist or something?”

“That’s about it,” Anna smiled. “But who told you that?”

Troels looked fantastic. He had flawless skin and his dark eyebrows and lashes were exquisitely groomed and beautifully arched. A green stone sparkled in one eyebrow, and he wore a St. Pauli hat with the famous skull emblem pulled over his ears.

“I ran into Karen a couple of days ago. Imagine running into you both within the same week, how weird is that? She told me. It sounds really exciting! We talked about getting together.”

Anna frowned. Get together? Him and Karen? Or did he mean Karen and Anna and him? He didn’t seem angry, not at all. More like exulted, bordering on nervous. She certainly was. Through her clothes, her armpits felt clammy.

“A dinosaur biologist, Anna Bella, you show-off! I always thought you wanted to do something else.”

Anna wrinkled her nose. “Let’s walk,” she suggested. “It’s too cold to stand still.”

He glanced at his watch, then he nodded. They started walking.

“If I were to hazard a guess, I would have said you would become a sergeant in the army or something hard-core, where you could boss a lot of people around,” he laughed.

Anna gave him a wounded look.

“Ten years and you’re still full of opinions about things you know shit about.”

“Hey, Anna Bella,” he said, amicably. “Let’s not argue.”

“Why not?” Anna snapped, taken aback by how quickly her old rage flared up. “You’ve always had completely the wrong impression of me!” They had only been walking for 150 feet, and Anna wanted to stamp her foot. Troels seemed unperturbed.

“Why didn’t we keep in touch?” was all he said. “You, me, and Karen. You were my best friends, and suddenly you disappeared.”