The Cowgirl's Little Secret(13)

Closing her mouth, Jolie crossed her arms, lifting and plumping her breasts. When his gaze zeroed in on her chest, she growled at him and he laughed.

"Permanently sixteen, remember? If you stand there emphasizing them, I'm gonna look, babe. I'm a man. We like looking at pretty women. That's how we roll." He sobered and offered a conciliatory smile. "What's done is done, Jolie. All we can do now is move forward, right?"

She nodded with one quick downward jerk of her stubborn chin. It wasn't much to work with, but better than nothing, so he continued, "Now that I know about CJ, I want to be in his life. I want to be his father." He ruffled one hand through his hair again. "I had a piss-poor example, so I damn sure want to do a better job. We need to talk-maybe not tonight, but soon. About...things. About custody and support and stuff."                       
       
           



       

Cord didn't like the way her back stiffened when she asked, "Stuff?"

"Yeah, Jolie. Stuff. I want us to be friends. Or at least friendly." Oh, he wanted a whole helluva lot more than that, but he wasn't ready to play all his cards yet. "CJ needs two parents. And he deserves two parents who aren't at each other's throats all the time." He breathed a little easier when she visibly relaxed and appeared to consider what he said.

"CJ and I have gotten along just fine without you." She sounded defensive.

He swallowed the angry retort forming on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he watched her, the silent weight of his thoughts leaking into his gaze until she looked away, no longer defiant. She dropped her arms and fumbled behind her for the door handle.

"Why did you come back?"

Jolie froze. "What do you mean?"

"Just what I asked. What made you leave Houston, come back here?"

She scuffed her toe against the cobblestone driveway and refused to look at him. She mumbled something he couldn't quite make out so he nudged her again. "Jolie? Why?"

"I was homesick, okay?" She shifted from foot to foot and looked distinctly uncomfortable.

Cord grabbed her hand and tugged gently. "If we're going to talk tonight, we might as well be comfortable. Come back inside. You can kiss CJ good-night and we'll go out on the patio, talk out there in private."

"I need to go."

"Are you working tomorrow?"

"No."

"Have a hot date?"

"No!"

"Then what are you afraid of?" Oh, he'd very neatly turned the tables on her. Jolie flattened her lips into a grimace. "Certainly not you. Fine. Of course, if CJ complains and wants to come home with me, you have no one to blame but yourself."

* * *

He walked her back up the front steps, his palm a warm brand on the small of her back. Jolie prayed he didn't feel the shiver dancing through her. How was it possible he could still make her knees wobble? Even when she was furious with him, her heart thudded not from the fury but from lust. She craved him, no ifs, ands or buts.

Holding the front door, he let her precede him into the entry hall before leading the way up the stairs to the private part of the house-the bedrooms. Some of the doors were open-though there were no lights on inside-and she did her best not to gawk. She couldn't help but wonder which room Cord currently occupied. That way led to disaster. Her nights were already fraught with memories-the two of them in bed, on a blanket at the lake, in his apartment in college, in hotel rooms.

She was so engrossed in her thoughts, she ran into Cord's broad back when he stopped. She stumbled and he quickly whirled to grab and steady her.

"Shh." He held his finger to his lips. Cord nodded toward the open door of a bedroom.

Jolie peeked inside. A night-light cast a soft glow over the room. CJ, snuggly in his flannel pajamas, was sound asleep. One arm was thrown over the back of the shaggy mutt occupying the bed next to her son. She had to clap a hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. Tiptoeing over, she swept her hair back so she could bend to place a kiss on CJ's cheek. Before she could, the dog licked her arm and she couldn't catch the laugh.

"Mommy?" CJ's eyes fluttered, and she smoothed the hair off his forehead.

"G'night, sweetheart. Mommy loves you," she said, kissing him.

"Night, Mommy. G'night, Daddy."

"G'night, bubba. Sweet dreams."

Cord stood beside her, ruffling the dog's fur with one hand and cupping the back of CJ's head with the other. She sucked in a breath as her heart seemed to freeze. How many times had she dreamed of this moment-of the two of them standing beside CJ's bed wishing him good-night? The dreams didn't even come close to the reality. Emotion swamped her and she turned away before Cord saw the tears glittering in her eyes. She stumbled out to the hallway and leaned against the wall, breathing heavily and dashing the back of her hand against her cheeks.

"Jolie? Honey, what's wrong?"

Before she knew what was happening, Cord pulled her into his arms and her cheek found its favorite resting spot against his shoulder. "Nothing," she murmured.                       
       
           



       

"Mmm-kay."

He obviously didn't believe her but didn't press for an answer. Instead, he tucked her under his arm and moved her down the stairs and into the great room. He guided her outside to the patio and settled her on the double lounger before disappearing back inside the house. Cord returned a few minutes later with a glass mug topped with whipped cream. Irish coffee. Damn the man. His memory was far too perfect. She accepted his offering and cupped it in her hands while he poked flames back to life in the fire pit.

Cord joined her on the lounger without asking. She didn't argue. Part of her needed his nearness much more than the part wanting him far, far away. He held a longneck beer bottle and offered her a toast.

"To what?"

"To...our son."

How could she resist that? She clinked her mug against the bottle, then took a sip. Her Irish coffee was as perfect as if she'd made it herself. Jolie didn't want to bring up the past, but the present was still too nerve-racking and the future was something she refused to contemplate. Being a coward, she lay against the nest of pillows at her back, watching flames dance along the fragrant piñon wood in the fire pit and sipping her drink.

Despite her best efforts to stop it, a tear perched on the ends of her lashes. This was what she'd dreamed of-evenings like this with Cord, the two of them sharing comfortable silences while their little one slept just inside. She'd wanted what all her friends wanted. A man who loved her, whom she loved. A man who wanted to spend a lifetime making her happy. But she'd fallen in love with Cordell Barron, the one man she could never have.

Cord relieved her of the cup and slipped his arm beneath her shoulders, snuggling her closer to his side. "Don't cry, baby. Your tears break my heart."

And that did it. With a sob, she opened the floodgates. All those tears she'd held back for so many years burst through her emotional shields. Cord held her, touching her with gentle hands, dropping soft kisses on her hair, forehead and cheek. She'd be embarrassed when her outburst subsided, but for now she absorbed his warmth, his kindness, and accepted the fact he cared.

Jolie's sobs eventually turned to hiccups. Cord patted her back as if he wasn't sure what exactly to do. She lifted her head. When he shifted, she caught the flicker of a wince before he turned away. Despite the way he'd been moving all night, she'd bet his injuries still bothered him.

Cord offered her a smile. "Need my shirttail?"

She hiccupped again, around a little laugh, and he interrupted her before she could apologize. "Don't, sunshine."

"What? Don't blow my nose on your shirt?"

Cord laughed. "Yeah, it's okay to blow your nose on my shirt." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then shifted his position again. When she looked up at him, he offered a murmured, "Ah...awkward," in response.

Jolie brushed her cheek moving against his shirt. What was she doing? He leaned and twisted, trying to see her face. She pressed her lips together, but the smile spread despite her best efforts. He glared at her. "I refuse to apologize for getting turned on around you, Jolie. I pretty much stay that way if you're anywhere within fifty feet of me." He chuckled. "Okay, to be honest, you don't even have to be in the same room. All I have to do is think about you."

She tilted her face, unsure she believed him, wanting to see his expression. She didn't speak at first, just searched his face in solemn concentration. "You really mean that, don't you?"

"Yeah. I've... Ah, hell, Jolie." He pushed away and sat up. "I'm gonna be honest here."

The debate raging inside Cord was obvious to her. Did she really want him to answer her question? She felt as if she was standing on the edge of a precipice and if she took one more step she'd fall.

No, no, no! Bad Cord. Don't do this. It's a really bad idea. You'll ruin things. Again. His brain wouldn't shut up so he imagined a gag. When Jolie's hand touched his shoulder, the voice in his head shut up.