The Christmas Hope(25)

“I’m trying to contact one of the foster families today.”

“But it’s so close to Christmas. She’s so little.”

I knew what he was saying but Emily couldn’t stay with us. We weren’t foster parents. Plus, I’d already put my job on the line by bringing her home in the first place.

“Does she have a dad?”

“Somewhere. Who knows?”

“Any grandparents?”

“In name only.”

“How did her mother die?” he asked.

“Car accident.”

He shook his head. It hit close to home. He unwrapped the extension cords that were in a tangled ball and I walked back into the house. That was the longest exchange Mark and I had had for days.

I walked into the living room. It was a mess. Decorations and boxes were everywhere. In the months following Sean’s death I began to clean and organize the house. It was the one thing I could control and I wanted things to be in their place and to be clean. I pushed the thought of the mess out of my mind. This tree was for Emily. I could clean later.

We strung the lights first. We started at the bottom of the tree and worked our way up. Then we hung a string of braided gold-and-green garland. “This is what a queen wears,” Emily said, admiring a strand of garland.

“The king wears it, too, doesn’t he?” Mark asked.

“No,” Emily said, matter-of-fact. “The king wears purple and pointy shoes.” Mark laughed.

I stood back to survey the tree. “I think I need to put more garland in this area,” I said, pointing.

“Let me get it.” Emily ran for the garland and rushed it over to me. I had to smile. Roy was right; despite what she’d been through, she enjoyed doing this.

The bulbs came next. I picked up a box filled with bright green, red, and blue bulbs and opened them. Mark picked up a red bulb and slipped a hook through the loop at the top. I bent down to open another box and discovered it was filled with angels. “Oh, these are pretty.”

Emily ran to it and peered inside. “Let me see.” She bent the box toward her. There were gold and iridescent angels piled on top of each other. “Angels,” she said, clasping her hands together. “We have to make sure they’re way out here on the limb,” she said, pointing, “so they can see everything.” As Emily and Mark decorated each limb I slipped into the kitchen to make some cocoa. I’d always made cocoa when Sean was a little boy and it seemed appropriate today. I stirred it on the stove and heard Christmas music filtering from the living room. Mark had pulled out some old favorites and I could hear him humming.

“Frosty’s not real,” Emily said, listening to the words of the song.

“He’s not?” Mark asked. “How do you know?”

“Snowmen can’t talk.” She said it as if he really should have known that.

“Rudolph talks.”

“That’s because he’s a reindeer.”

“So Rudolph is real?”

“Yes! Don’t you watch TV?”

I heard Mark laugh for the first time in weeks. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to talk with a five-year-old. I walked into the living room and handed a cup of cocoa to Emily and Mark.

When the tree was finished Mark took the angel out of her box. “I think we’re getting another angel,” I said, remembering Emily’s disappointment.

“No,” Emily said, pointing at the tree. “God put her in charge of all these other angels so she has to be on top so she can see what they’re doing.” She took the angel from Mark and looked up at him. “Can you lift me high?” He lifted her so she could place the angel and she fussed with it till she got her straight. “There,” she said, indicating that her work was finished. I sat on the sofa to get a good look at the tree and Emily sat next to me. Mark straightened a strand of straying garland, then sat next to Emily. She was quiet and stared at the tree for the longest time. “Is that what Christmas trees look like in heaven?” she asked. Mark glanced over at me.

“I bet they’re even more beautiful in heaven,” I said.

“Can my mom see me right now?” She was remembering our conversation from earlier.

“I’m sure God has parted the clouds so she can see you.”

“She sees the tree?”

“Yes.”

“Does she see all the angels?”

“Yes, and she sees lots of angels in heaven.”

“As pretty as these?”

“Even more beautiful.”

“Do you think she’s happy seeing me?”

I smiled and nodded. I wondered if Sean was happy seeing what his dad and I had become?