The Billionaire Bodyguard(29)

She glanced out at the pale blue water. Was  there something inherent in  human nature that made you always long for  what you didn't have? She  had the relationship she had always longed  for-one that fulfilled her  in every way which mattered-and yet somehow  she wanted more. She wanted  marriage, she realised-and babies too. And,  while he showed her that  he adored her in every way that counted, she  sensed that the whole  family package would be a commitment too far.

So stop yearning for the impossible, she told herself-just enjoy what you have.

She  saw a figure in the far distance, heading her way, and her idle  glance  became a double-take as her heart suddenly missed a beat. She  shook her  head slightly. For a minute there she had imagined she'd seen  Jay,  walking across the beach towards her.

Yeah, sure. He had secretly taken a flight out to join her the day before she was due to fly home-in your dreams, Keri!

She  continued to walk towards the approaching man, waiting for  confirmation  that it was just another tall, dark stranger enjoying the  delights of a  Caribbean holiday.

It was difficult to say at what point she  realised that she had not  been mistaken. She was too far away to see the  expression on the  beautiful scarred face, and his eyes were shielded by  a pair of  wraparound shades, but some sense which transcended sight  told her  without a doubt that it was Jay.

She was so taken aback  that her footsteps faltered to a halt. Funny how  reality never quite  fitted the dream. She should be flinging her arms  out and running  towards him, and he should catch her in his arms and  whirl her round and  round and round. But …

Why was he here?

She looked, he  thought, like the stuff that dreams were made of,  sillhouetted against  the blinding light in some pale, floaty dress with  a flower-laden straw  hat shielding her face from the blazing sun.

He moved towards her  slowly, wanting to enjoy the moment, his heart  beating loud and strong  in his chest, his head feeling curiously light.  Now he could see the  pale heart-shaped face, and the look of  bewilderment and anxiety in the  dark eyes, and he felt a rush of  something deeper than desire.

'What's happened?' Keri demanded, her heart beating with fear. 'What are you doing here?'

He smiled. 'What kind of a greeting is that for your lover?'

Briefly,  she thought how modern, how temporary that sounded. She looked  up at  him questioningly, but she could not read the expression behind  the  shades he wore and it was too blindingly bright to ask him to take  them  off. 'Jay?'

He reached his hand out, brushing the fringe from her  eyes as he had  once done a lifetime ago. 'Aren't you pleased to see  me?' he asked  softly.

'Of course I am,' she answered  breathlessly, but she didn't fall into  his arms, and neither did he pull  her into them. 'Nothing's wrong, is  it?'

'Well, that depends on your definition of wrong.'

'Jay!' Her voice was shaking, remonstrating, breathless. 'I'm due home tomorrow-why are you here?'

'Because I've missed you.'

'Well, that's … '

'That's what?'

'Surprising,' she admitted.

'Yeah,' he agreed, with a rueful smile. 'Thought I'd be crazy about a woman who gave me plenty of space.'

She  opened her eyes very wide. She had clung on to her independence  like a  lifeline, because an independent woman was the one he had been  attracted  to.

'And aren't you?'

'Completely and utterly crazy,' he said gravely.

'It doesn't happen very often,' she pointed out. 'The trips, I mean.'

'No.'

'And you spent your whole life travelling all over the place.'

'I  know I did.' And he hoped to God that she wasn't living the kind of   life he had lived when he was in the SEALs! No, he knew she wasn't-she   was sweet and loyal and true-but when she was away he found himself   aching for her in a way which was quite alien to him. But if that was   the way she wanted it, then that was the way it had to be. He bent and   touched her lips with his. 'Do you like being away for weeks at a time,   sweetheart?'                       
       
           



       

Keri hesitated. 'Well, actually, no-not really.'

He frowned. 'Then why do you do it?'

'Because  it's my job! Because the best shoots are ones like these-they  pay well  and keep my profile high. And, oddly enough, I seem to have  got more  work since I developed a few curves-and that's all down to  you, Jay!'

'But  what happened to the interior design?' he questioned. 'I thought  my  offices were supposed to be your starting block for a whole new  change  of direction?'

'That was more your dream, not mine!'

'I thought for a while it was yours, too, Keri. Did exposure to it put you off it?'

She  bit her lip. Oh, what the hell? Just tell him-tell him. 'I decided  not  to start something else because my relationship with you was too  new and  too important, and I wanted to concentrate on that. I didn't  want to  make any big career changes because I didn't … ' Her voice  faltered and  her words trailed away as she stared down at the sand.

'Didn't what?' he prompted softly. 'Look at me, Keri.'

This was the crunch moment. Did she have the courage to say it and risk the consequences?

'I can't see your eyes,' she whispered.

He took the shades off. 'How's that?' he questioned steadily.

Better-and  worse. She had never seen him look more intent or serious,  and she knew  then that she had no choice, that the crunch time really  had come.

'I  didn't know if we were going to last. Or if you would change your  mind  about commitment,' she admitted. 'And I wasn't sure that I could  cope  with all that if I'd made a huge life-change.'

He nodded,  recognising that insecurity still dogged her. She hadn't  rushed him, or  pushed him or hinted or cajoled-and hadn't part of him  perhaps been  waiting for her to do that, wondering if then he truly  would feel  trapped? But this relationship was no trap. He had found a  place he  wanted to stay and he wanted to secure that place, to make it  permanent  and to make it home. To anchor down. And he needed to tell  her.

'I  love you, Keri,' he said simply, wondering why it had taken so long  for  him to get around to saying it. He felt as if someone had lit a  fire  inside him. It had started out as just a tiny flicker, the kind of  flame  you had to cherish and to nurture, and now it was blazing within  him.  And feelings, he was discovering, like fires, couldn't be  hurried. 'I  love you,' he said again, and his smile was blinding.

'Oh, Jay!'  She began to cry, and he pulled her into his arms and held  onto her as  if he would never let her go. After a while she was  through, and he  kissed the tip of her nose.

'What the hell are you crying about?' he questioned tenderly.

'I love you too, so much!'

By  now he had learnt that women always cried for a reason, and if Keri  was  crying her heart out because she loved him, then that was just fine   with him.

Everything seemed to happen in a bit of a blur after  that. They kissed  for a while, and quite passionately too-but they were  on a Caribbean  beach where that kind of behaviour was seen as perfectly  respectable,  so nobody gave them a second glance.

Until eventually Keri just wanted some privacy.

'Shall we go back to the hotel?'

He smiled and felt the pump of his heart. 'I guess we'd better.'

They  walked hand in hand along the sand, but as they approached the  hotel  they heard the jubilant beat of steel drums and saw a couple  barefoot in  the sea, the woman dressed in white with a garland of  flowers in her  hair and the man in a white tuxedo.

'Oh, Jay, look,' she breathed. 'It's a wedding!'

He  thought fleetingly that it was easier to get behind enemy lines than  to  understand what was going on inside the head of a woman. 'You want  to  get married?' he questioned casually. 'Here?'

She stopped, dead. 'Oh, my God! You want to marry me?'


'Of course I do,' he answered steadily. 'What do you think I came out here for? Do you want to marry me?'

'You  know I do! But not here,' she said firmly. 'I mean, I know it's   beautiful and romantic and everything, but … ' She looked up at him and   her eyes were suddenly anxious. 'I'd really like my parents there. And   Erin-she'd never forgive me if I did it without telling her. Would you   mind, darling?'

He thought of Keri's twin-of her courage and her strength and the little boy she was raising just fine.

His  face softened as he tilted up her chin to look at him. 'Tell you   what-how do you suppose your family would like a holiday in the   Caribbean?'