The Billionaire Bodyguard(26)

And while Keri floated around in a dream, because they'd  finally spent  the night together, Jay remained on edge for the rest of  the day. When  he told her that he needed to 'catch up' that evening, she  wasn't  really surprised. Hurt, yes, but not surprised. But neither of  them had  slept much the night before, and things would be back to normal   tomorrow.

But next morning it looked particularly bleak, with a dank drizzle leaking down from dark and heavy clouds.

The  rain was seeping into Keri's face as she pulled her bag over her   shoulder and ran up the steps, and once inside she looked around, as if   recognising for the first time that the end of the job really was in   sight.

It was amazing the difference she had made-transforming  the place into  somewhere unrecognisable from the bland and dingy  building it had been.  The strong, vibrant colours had worked out even  better than she had  anticipated. The rich sapphire hue emphasised and  reflected the living  water outside, and the dimensions of the rooms were  dramatic enough to  take it.

Even Jay had said so.

'Some  people lack the ability to see what possibilities a place can  have,' he  had murmured. 'And you have that ability. It's a gift, Keri.  It looks so  different.

Maybe he would let her buy a few more prints. She  could find a few  posters of New Orleans, maybe. He had spent his first  few years there  and he liked cooking Cajun food-what could be better?

Perhaps  she could even get away with a large, leafy plant in the  corner-weren't  all places supposed to have living things in them? He  might like living  in a place which resembled an interrogation cell, but  that didn't mean  he had to work in one.

Andy was on the phone, and she was just  hanging up her dripping  raincoat and wondering what Jay's reaction would  be to a soothing and  therapeutic fish tank, when he hung up and looked  at her.

'Hi, Keri,' he said, just a little too casually.

Something told her something was wrong.

'Has something happened?'

'Depends what you mean by happened,' answered Andy carefully.

Keri  had grown to like Andy. He had a relaxed and uncomplicated  nature-so  why was he looking as though he had sat down in a nest of  ants?

'Where's Jay?'

He took a deep breath, like someone who had been rehearsing how to say something. Or maybe how he had been told to say it.

'He's gone.'

'Gone? Gone where?'

'He had to fly out to New York this morning.'

'How long for?'

'He didn't say.' He must have seen something stricken in her face, because he added, 'It wasn't planned, Keri.'                       
       
           



       

Keri  stared sightlessly at the ground. Maybe it hadn't been-but there  were  phones, weren't there? And texts. Why, you could even send an  e-mail  from an airport these days. But Jay hadn't, and it wasn't  difficult to  work out why.

And there was that soft, underlying note of something approaching sympathy in Andy's voice too.

She looked up. 'You know, don't you, that I've been seeing him? Did he tell you?'

He  shook his head. 'He never discusses his personal life with me-ever. I   worked it out for myself.' He gave her a sweet smile. 'When a couple  go  to such a lot of trouble to avoid being together then there's  usually a  reason why.'

Yes, they had avoided each other as much as possible  at work-at Jay's  instigation-but when she stopped to think about it he  had managed to  avoid too much contact all round, hadn't he? Never  sleeping with her  apart from that one reluctant night.

Had Keri  committed the cardinal female crime of wishing for something  and then  imagining that it was coming true? She had wanted him to feel  something  deeper for her, as she had for him, but it was patently  obvious that he  didn't.

Andy patted her hand, like a man making peace and offering comfort. 'It isn't personal, you know. It's just the way he is.'

Her eyes were very clear and bright. 'And what way is that?'

He  took a deep breath, as if weighing up whether or not to tell her,  but  maybe something resolute and determined in her eyes made him  decide.  'This is what he does, Keri. He won't be owned or possessed or   constrained. He's a free spirit, and the moment he thinks he's in  danger  of being tied down, or tying himself down,' he amended hastily,  'then  he just cuts and runs.'

'Runs from what?' she asked tonelessly. 'Himself?'

'Who  knows? Maybe.' He was quiet for a moment. 'Let me tell you  something  about him. I've known him a long time, and he was the best  damn  commander I ever had, but even I sometimes feel I don't really  know him.  He's tough and cold and emotionally detached, and he needed  to be.  Those kind of men make the best leaders.'

He glanced up at her.  'When I left the SEALs I sort of … well, I went off  the rails. A lot of  the guys can't cope with the reality of the real  world, and I was one of  them. I started drinking-big-time-and  then … well, someone thought that  it might be a good idea to introduce an  already screwed-up guy to  drugs.'

His eyes narrowed, and Keri saw the pain in them.

'When  Jay found me again I was pretty much dead-I sure wasn't living.  He  picked me up and cleaned me up and told me that if I ever so much as   looked at a chemical substance again he would deal with me himself,  and I  believed him.'

His voice changed and his eyes looked startlingly  blue as he looked  into hers. 'I never looked back,' he said. 'He gave  me a job-and then  somehow he swung it for me to come and work over here  when he was  starting up. And I worked my butt off, because I wanted to  show him  just how much I owed him. My life, really,' he added simply.

Keri nodded, for a moment her sense of admiration for her lover eclipsing her bitterness that he had gone away so abruptly.

'He  rescues people, Keri,' said Andy. 'That's what he does. He sees  what  they need and he gives it to them, and then he moves on.'

It was like being given the answer to a conundrum which had been puzzling you for ages.

He rescued people.

Yes, of course he did.

He  had swept in and rescued Keri, first from the snow and then from her   sexual desert, topping it all off by encouraging her to start using  her  own creative talents instead of just being the blank canvas a model   invariably was.

That he had failed to complete the fantasy by  galloping off on his  charger with her firmly in the saddle didn't mean  that he had failed,  only that she had failed to understand him. Or  refused to.

She nodded, like someone who had just been given a piece of bad news but who was determined not to go to pieces over it.

'Well,  I guess I'd better finish what I'm being paid for.' Her smile  was as  bright as anything she had ever flashed on camera. 'And don't I  get any  coffee this morning, Andy Baxter?'



She told Erin about it between tears and sips of wine. 'God, I could do with a cigarette!' she wailed.

'Well,  you can't have one,' said Erin firmly. 'You gave up years ago  and  you're not starting again now.' She tipped some more wine into her   glass. 'Maybe it's not over,' she said hopefully.                       
       
           



       

But, in a way,  wasn't that the worst possible scenario? Nothing would  change except for  her feelings. Jay wouldn't-why should he? He was  happy with his life  the way it was. Being a free spirit was probably  very enjoyable.

But Keri's feelings would grow-she just knew they would-and where would that get her?

'It has to be over,' she said, putting the glass down with a bump. 'I need it to be, for my peace of mind.'

'And if he calls-you're going to tell him that?'

There was a pause. Keri looked at her twin. 'Well, I was actually hoping that you might do that.'

There was a short, disbelieving pause and then Erin shook her head. 'Oh, no, Keri-you have to be out of your mind!'


'Please, Erin, please-we used to do it for each other when we were younger, so what's the difference?'

'Are you serious? The difference is time, and maturity. For a start, I'm ten pounds heavier.'

'I wouldn't count on that at the moment,' Keri answered wryly. 'And you could wear a big sweater!'

Erin  looked furious. 'For God's sake, Keri-you've had a sexual  relationship  with this man! What am I supposed to do when he starts  coming on to me? I  presume he knows you have a twin?'

Keri nodded.

'Well, how long do you think it will take him to guess it isn't you at all? About a second?'

Keri  frowned. Maybe she was right. Jay might be insensitive to a  woman's  needs, but he certainly wasn't insensitive to her desires-not  only would  he guess, but he would be furious!