The Arrangement Anthology 2(167)

“This is an extension of the first proposal, which was done correctly and very romantically. You know how hard it was to find someone at the State Park Department to let me rent the damn room? I was on hold for nearly three hours.”

Now I tickle him, pressing my fingers into his sides and wiggling. Sean laughs and confesses, “Okay, so it was two hours, but still took forever. That was the proposal. This is the affirmation, the statement that comes later that states I still mean what I said. I want you now, and I want you forever, for the ups, downs, and everything in between. I want you here next to me, like this, every night. I want to kiss you awake every morning. I want to do very dirty things that I will not say out loud, Miss Smith.”

I can’t help it, I’m smiling like an idiot. I want to believe him. I want to believe it, but he’s said this before. Except last time his actions were different. Aren’t actions supposed to speak louder than words? I should accept this change, shouldn’t I?

With a quiet voice, I say, “I’ll have to think about that, Mr. Ferro.” I shrug, teasingly.

With all seriousness in his voice, Sean leans on and says softly, “I’ll make it right. I promise, I’ll be here in the morning.” He knows what’s weighing on me, what’s tugging at my heart, and keeping me awake.

I open my mouth, but it’s gone dry, so I nod. I roll over on my pillow the other way, not wanting him to see the emotion that’s playing across my face. Hope this high shatters when it falls, it’ll break me and I know it. At the same time, I feel like it’s a risk I have to take.

People change and grow, and Sean Ferro is not immune to growth. In the limited time I've known him, I’ve seen him try. I know how hard he fights his demons and his past. I also know there’s no reason for him to do that alone. In a lot of ways, we're the same, holding back the past like an inky tidal wave that threatens to crush us at any moment. Two people holding it back should be better than one.

Sean’s voice scatters my thoughts when he speaks. “Go to bed, spray start car girl. We can talk about anything and everything in the morning. The only other person in the house is one of the security guards, and he’s not stupid enough to come in here, not after seeing you in the foyer with sticks and leaves in your hair. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought you concocted a plan to break through my defenses and pull every heart string I have. Apparently, all it takes is a few scratches on your face and messy hair.”

“Nope, no concocting. I’m a dumbass and actually ran all this way. I jumped fences in a single bound,” I say dramatically, “and fell flat on my face. The result was epic bruising, blisters, and a sore butt. I really don’t land on my feet very often.” I smile a little bit as I feel Sean snuggle up behind me.

He wraps his arms around me and whispers in my ear, “You don’t have to worry anymore. When you jump, I’ll catch you. You don’t have to land on your feet, not if I’m here.”

His words make me smile and that’s the last thing I remember before drifting off. The world is still, and warm, and perfect.





CHAPTER 12




Sean’s phone rings, again, stealing him from sleep. I’ve been lying in his arms half awake, thinking. I don’t like this plan. Marrying Trystan does throw everyone off, and I understand why Sean wants to do it—I even understand why Trystan agreed to it—but it’s not fair. It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to Trystan and it’s not fair to Sean. The three of us are living life in limbo, waiting for the other shoe to fall. Going back to the Cinderella thing, I kinda wish the other slipper would just break.

The phone falls silent once again as Sean snuggles into me tighter. I can feel his warm breath over my shoulder and his strong arms around my waist. It’s something I’ve always wanted, a night with him without pain or regret, and a morning with no remorse. I’m not sure if he’ll give up his old ways and I’m not sure if I want him to. To tell the truth, I was disappointed we didn’t go into his little sex room. I was wondering what kinds of things he would have in there.

Learning how to love and be loved is hard, especially after so much loss. That's something we both know.

The phone rings again, chirping next to my head on the nightstand. I finally lean over to look at it and see who’s calling Sean at this hour, and what I see surprises me.

MASTERSON

I wiggle out of Sean’s embrace just enough to reach the phone and answer the call. “Marty?”

“Avery? Is that you?” His voice sounds weird, almost panicky.