The Arrangement Anthology 1(59)

This time, Sean lets me. I lower his zipper and slip my hand below his jeans. Sean sucks in the cold air as my fingers wrap around his hard, hot shaft. I free him from his cloths without undressing him, and then pull him onto me. Sean adjusts my jeans, lowering them. When the cold air hits my warm bottom, I think I might die. But then Sean is there, hot and hard.

I feel his body against mine. Sean pushes into me slowly and then pulls nearly all the way out. Then he repeats it. My hands find the skin on his back. Every time he pushes into me, I dig my nails in wanting more. Every moment that passes is filled with pure bliss. My body responds to him, but it’s so different than the other night. I feel different. My core is hotter than hell and that delicate throbbing starts somewhere inside of me. Sean thrusts into me in rhythm with that pulsing. As he takes me higher and higher, the throbbing becomes more demanding. When he can’t take it anymore, Sean thrusts into me, pushing harder and faster, until I shatter. Gasping, every inch of my body feels incredible. I’m so high, so intoxicated with him.

Sean stays there, on top of me, breathing hard. His fingers brush my hair out of my face. The look on his face is pensive. Sean’s gaze sweeps over my eyes, cheeks, and lips. His mouth parts like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. A shiver slips down my spine. Suddenly I feel the cold sand and damp air. I’m still warm, but my senses are returning. I’m falling back to earth, becoming more aware of what we did.

Sean rolls off of me and helps me get my jeans up without filling them with sand. As it is, there’s sand stuck to my cheeks and the small of my back. We wiggled too much to be sand-free. After he buttons my jeans, Sean lays back down, pressing his body to mine. That distant look in his eyes is gone, replaced with something that I don’t recognize. There’s a softness there, a vulnerability that makes me want to hold him forever. Sean presses his lips together. I think he’s going to say something, but he can’t seem to say it. I start to speak, but Sean leans down and presses his lips to mine, silencing me. The kiss is small and chaste. His mouth drifts to my cheek, and then my eyes and nose, leaving a trail of light kisses in his wake. The last kiss is on my forehead.

I watch him, wondering what he’s thinking, wishing that I knew. I finally ask, “What are you thinking?”

Sean sits up on the sand and lets out a rush of air. He pushes his hands through his hair and looks down at me. “I wish things were different. I wish I...” He sounds tense, like he made a mistake. The muscle in his jaw tightens like he can’t swallow.

I sit up and lean back on my elbows. The wind catches my hair and lifts it from my neck, chilling me. I jump up. I reach out and take Sean’s hand and pull him to his feet. “This isn’t the time for wishing or regrets.”

Sean looks at my hands holding onto his. When his gaze lifts, he asks, “Then what time is it?” There’s more there, things he wants to say. I can hear his heart breaking all over again. I wonder if I’m echoing his wife. I wonder if he feels guilty. I know loss, but Sean’s is different. I can’t imagine his pain.

“Time for lunch. I’m treating. You’re driving. Come on, motorcycle man. Carpe diem and all that crap. Let’s go!” I bend over and grab the piggy kite and we head for the car.

Neither of us says anything for a while. Sean seems lost, like he’s floating with no anchor. I lean back in the seat, grateful for the heater. Maybe I’m a little nuts, always making myself cold, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t like getting warm. I like things that are predictable, things that I can control. It makes me feel better.

We head into Wendy’s and I tell Sean to grab us a table. He lifts an eyebrow at me. “You’re ordering for me? That’s kind of manly.”

“Get over it, bitch,” I tease, smiling at him. I meant it to sound more serious, but he smiles and I laugh. “Go sit. Let me treat you to the most wonderful lunch of your life.” I lean in and whisper in his ear, “It’s that good.”

Sean walks away and I order us a bunch of stuff off the cheap-o menu. This is a splurge for me, but it’s worth it. I get the idea that Sean doesn’t dine on a $1.99 very often. I wonder what expression he’d have on his face if saw my dorm room and my stash of Ramen noodles. The naked guy would probably be a distraction. Where the hell did he get a turkey from, anyway? I wonder if Amber’s plaything stole it from the cafeteria.

I smile to myself and walk back to the table. Sean looks at the tray and back up at me. “Milkshakes?”

“Don’t come between a girl and her chocolate. Here,” I had him a small burger, half the fries, and a cup of chili. Taking the burger, I unwrap it and pull the bun off. I spoon the chili onto the meat, followed by the fries, and then a dollop of the shake. “Happy lunch.”