The Arrangement Anthology 1(117)

I stand and walk up behind him. I touch his shoulder lightly. “Is that why you’re being so careful? Are you afraid I won’t like you?” I turn him toward me and take the Jack out of his hand and put it on the dresser behind him.

“Here’s the truth,” I manage to spin a web of lies that sounds so convincing even I believe it. I have to believe it or I won’t be able to be with him. “I think you’re incredibly sexy. The moment I saw you, I wanted to wrap my arms around your chest. And, the way you acted at dinner the other night was incredible. I am attracted to you. I would have gone on a date with you, and this did feel like a date. A really good date.” I slip my arms around his neck and press my breasts against his chest. “It’s up to you how it ends.”

My heart is pounding. I want this and I don’t want this. Henry is older than me with a runner’s lean body. He’s all hard muscle. I can see that, but he doesn’t turn me on. There’s no spark.

We stand still for a moment. Henry looks down at me and sighs. “Is this the only way to have you?”

I smile slowly. “For now.”

“It’s cruel to give me hope, Allison, but I’ll take what I can get.”

I nod. I’m Allison. I keep forgetting that.

Henry dips his head and kisses me. My hands find the sides of his face as I kiss him back. I close my eyes and picture Sean. When Henry’s hands slide down my sides and cup my butt, I think of Sean’s strong hands holding me tight. I moan a little and lean into him more, but Henry kisses me slowly, gently. He’s lingering, so I follow his lead and slow down. The kiss dawdles and then Henry finally dips his head and kisses my neck. I tilt my head back and think about Sean kissing me in the dressing room. My body is confused. It remembers Sean’s kisses, but it knows this isn’t Sean.

Henry lifts his head and whispers in my ear, “Come to bed with me.”

He pulls my hand across the room to the bed and sits down and scoots back to the middle. I crawl toward him in my tight dress. His eyes dip to my neckline and stay there. As I crawl toward him, I slip up his body, brushing my chest against him.

Henry closes his eyes for a moment. When I lick my tongue across the seam of his lips, he looks up at me. He takes me in his arms and kisses me harder this time. I fall onto his chest, which makes the silver clips bite into me. It sends a jolt between my legs and I moan into his mouth. Henry kisses me until he’s breathless. Then, he flips me over and trails kisses down my neck and to my chest. He stops and traces his finger over the top of my breast. It’s sweet, almost hesitant.

“You can touch me, Henry.” I sit up and unzip my dress. I push the top down so he can see the bra.

“Oh, God.” Henry sucks in air like there isn’t enough. He stares at my breasts, salivating. I know he wants to touch, but he doesn’t. He just looks at me and freezes. His eyes rise to my face. “How far would you go on a second date?”

I don’t understand his question. I smile at him. “It depends on the guy. With you, second base is a given, and if you keep looking at me like that I might not be able to control myself.”

The words feel like acid in my mouth. I hate lying. I imagine what I’d say to Sean if he asked me that. I shouldn’t feel any remorse. Sean is fucking some other call girl right now, but I don’t enjoy this. I put on the best sexy smile I can manage and crawl toward him on my hands and knees with my dress pushed down around my waist. “Kiss me, Henry. Don’t make me beg for it.”

Henry takes me in his arms and kisses me forever. I lose track of time, but it feels like he’s avoiding doing anything more. When I reach for his belt, Henry shifts so he’s on top of me. He finally dips his head to my breast. His lips are gentle.

I close my eyes and imagine I’m somewhere else. I want this to be over. My heart pounds harder and I realize that I’m afraid. Henry’s lips press against me over and over, but they feel like razor wire. There’s no connection, no desire. I know I need to force it. I thought lust would override my brain at some point, but it isn’t happening.

Henry’s hands move up and down my body and he pulls me up onto his lap. He dips his head and sucks my taut nipples between his lips. I finally respond. His touch, and the ring clamped around me, makes it so I’d have to be numb not to. My hips buck into his and I tilt my head back. I grab hold of that feeling, knowing I need to hold onto it to do this. I keep picturing Sean and begin to feel more into it. My hands tangle in his hair and I say things, but I don’t hear the words. Henry stays there like that, kissing my breasts, neck, and lips until he suddenly stops. Henry pushes away and shakes his head.