The Arrangement Anthology 1(103)

When my breathing resumes a normal pace, I open my eyes. Sean’s fingers are still inside me. He smiles and pulls his fingers out one by one, and strokes me as he pulls his hand away. The response is instant. I gasp and throw my head back. Random coils of pleasure shoot through me, pulsing softly.

My head droops back and I stare at the ceiling. Sean takes my face with one hand, holding my cheeks, and makes me look at him. His other hand appears and he moves his fingers over the seam of my lips. They’re damp, from me. My lips part and he pushes a finger in, watching me intently. I suck his finger, licking it. He does it twice more before leaning in and pressing a light kiss to my mouth.

“I should have saved some for me.” Sean is breathing hard. I feel his erection pressing into my leg.

I smile at him. “You make me so crazy. We weren’t supposed to have sex.”

“That wasn’t sex.” He presses his hard shaft against my leg and I smile. My girl parts clench and I think about him thrusting into me. My mind is so addled with lust, it’s a fog that’s growing thicker and thicker.

I manage to breathe and string some words together into a semi-coherent thought. “Since when is a hand-job not sex?”

“And you think it is because…?”

I smile awkwardly, “Because I’m supposed to charge for those.” I laugh. I can’t help it. Sean smiles and laughs with me.

“Mmm,” he says, and kisses my neck. “That’s a very reasonable answer.” One of his hands is on my thigh and dips between my legs. He strokes me again and I moan. I want more. I want him.

I’m about to let him when a random part of my brain springs to life. “Wait.” Sean’s hand stills and he looks me in the eye. “You wanted to start over, right? So, what does that mean? What are we?”

Sean blinks and pulls his hand away. He runs his fingers through his hair and looks over at me. “Friends, I guess.”

“Damn. No wonder why you’re jealous of my friends. I think you have your definitions messed up.” I touch his arm lightly.

Sean looks over at me with a wry expression on his face. “Maybe.”

“Try definitely. Unless you have sex with all your friends?” I’m worried for a moment. I wonder if he’s slept with anyone else since he was with me. What a stupid thought. Of course he has. He ordered a hooker and got me. This guy isn’t dating material…but I want him anyway.

Sean gives me a crooked smile. “Only the really hot ones.” There’s something about him that seems timid and uncertain. He swallows so hard that I can hear it. It’s as if he’s grappling with something. After a moment, Sean leans forward and rubs his hands over the back of his head. He’s looking at the floor when he says, “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Do what?”

Sean sits up and looks at me. “You. I don’t know how to be friends with you. I want you. I want to have you the way I want you, but at the same time, I can’t put you through that. But I need it. But I want you too… I don’t want to lose you.” Sean seems so torn. He looks away and grips the sides of his head with his hands.

I know what he means. He’s talking about his sexual needs. For a moment, I wonder if I could do it, but if he doesn’t want to put me through it, I probably couldn’t manage it at all. Last time he tried, I totally freaked out and I had the impression that we didn’t even get started. But I want to be with him. I love him.

I slide my hand over his back. Oh my God, his skin feels so hot. I want to lean over and lick him. I banish the thoughts because they don’t jive with what I’m about to say. Actually, I don’t know what possesses me to say it. “Then, let’s make it so you won’t lose me. Be my friend. No sex, you know, like normal friends.”

Sean smirks. “I don’t have any normal friends. I hang out with hookers and business acquaintances.”

My eyes turn into dinner plates and I stare at him. “You seriously have no friends?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t have time for them. And most of them are the kind that just want something from me. Money makes it hard to have actual friends, and not just a bunch of leeches that hope I’ll toss them a wad of cash.”

I blink at him. “That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. What about your family?”

He shrugs. “My little brother is kind of going through something. He’s never around. My parents get on me about going to a shrink whenever I see them, so I don’t bother anymore. Besides that, there is no one I really care about.” He looks up at me, grinning, and adds, “Except you. So, will you be my sexy friend who sometimes touches herself in front of me? Because that would make us best friends really fast.” There’s an absolutely wicked smile on his face.