Tempt My Heart(76)

It’s too painful to watch Jordon with that baby. He doesn’t know what to think or feel right now, and it kills me to watch him battle with all the emotions he’s dealing with.

The birth of a child should be the happiest moment in a person’s life. For Jordon, he doesn’t know if he is the father of this little girl, so he can’t bond with her like a normal father would. It breaks my heart that this Kinsley girl can do this to two men and not even seem the least bit fazed by it all.





Unburying the Truth


I make my way down to the lobby and stop dead in my tracks. I was trying to leave out the double glass doors in front of the hospital, but outside, the entire front entrance is full of press and paparazzi.

Spinning around, I decide to head back up to the waiting room. As soon as I walk back in, I spot two women coming into the waiting room. They look like they’ve been at the gift shop with their arms full of flowers and stuffed bears.

The death glare they both give me lets me know they’re more than likely the mother and sister of Kinsley, Jordon told me about. Ignoring them, I head towards the private bathroom and lock myself in. It’s crazy that a bathroom in the hospital feels like the only safe place in this entire fucking building.

Sliding to the floor, I lean against the door and hug my legs while resting my forehead on my knees. I feel a panic attack coming on, and this is the last place I want to have one. I haven’t had an attack in months, and the feeling of one coming on sends me further into a panic. I don’t want Jordon to see that I’m struggling with this more than I’m letting on.

I inhale and exhale shaky breaths as tears well up in my eyes. My world feels like it’s spinning out of control and no matter how hard I try, it won’t stop. I feel so helpless right now, and I hate it. I wish we could just snap our fingers and go back twenty-four hours ago when Jordon and I were happy, and lost in our own little world on my tour bus.

Giving into the sadness, I let the tears fall. I’m too tired to fight them anymore. It’s exhausting trying to pretend as if the thought of Jordon having a baby with another woman doesn’t bother me. I will support him no matter what, but the idea that someone else is giving him his first child, and under these circumstances, is too much to deal with right now.

This is why I’ve kept myself from falling for anyone else since Cane. It was easier staying distant and not getting attached to someone. I tried to fight my feelings for Jordon, but it was impossible. The pull to him is too strong. Now that I’m finally happy, and accepting that it is all right to move on with my life, this Kinsley girl swoops in and tries to destroy everything.

My ringing phone snaps me out of my fog. Digging in my purse, I find it and see its Roxie.

“Hey.” I answer trying to hold back my sobs and pretend I’m not falling apart right now.

Roxie sees through it and calls me out, “Are you crying?!” The panic in her voice is evident. I can only imagine what’s going through her head right now after seeing the reports about Jordon possibly being a father.

Wiping my tears away with my sleeve, I sniffle, “Yeah…I feel stupid. I’m locked in a bathroom bawling my eyes out while Jordon is in with Kinsley seeing the baby.”

“Why the hell are you in the bathroom and not in there with him?” She shouts into the phone practically blowing out my ear drum.

I let out a soft sigh and sink against the door, “I was in there for five seconds and was already fighting with Kinsley. I don’t want to do that when there’s a newborn in the room. I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I just needed to get out of there and away from her.”

I hear Roxie, “Mmm hmm,” into the phone as she listens to me ramble on. I am already feeling a little better just talking to her. “Well, it’s a difficult situation but as long as you and Jordon support each other, you’ll get through this. Sadly, I understand what you’re going through. Matt and I have had our fair share of drama with girls looking for a big payday by claiming he cheated on me with them. In the end, it’s always a lie, with the girl twisting an innocent interaction and using it to get a hefty check in their bank account.”

Standing, I walk over to the sink and wet a paper towel to wash the running mascara off of my face.

Rubbing under my eyes I say, “Thanks, Rox. I appreciate it. You’re right. I just need to have faith it’ll all work out and show Jordon that no matter what, I’m not going anywhere. Oh! You won’t believe it, but we told each other I love you today.”

“Oh, my God! Seriously! At the hospital? How are you doing?” She fires off her questions so fast I can barely get a word in.