Tempt My Heart(16)

Tears I’m trying to hold back begin falling one by one of their own accord as the two men whose faces will now forever be burned into my mind, look down at me sympathetically.

I don’t want their sympathy! I want my fiancé!

“Brittan McKenna?” The older one asks as his eyes lock onto mine.

Nodding my head yes, I drop my eyes to the ground. I can’t look at him; I wish the floor beneath me would open up and take me away from here.

The older man clears his throat causing my eyes to snap back up to his, “Ma’am, we need to speak to you in private, so if we can please continue this inside.” His words come out almost robotic, as if he’s said them a million times before.

I know once we’re in private he’ll confirm what I know. I don’t think I can hear those words. I don’t want to hear anything they have to say.

I shake my head no. “You can say whatever it is out here or you can go.” My words come out hoarse, but firm. Roxie immediately cuts me off and grips my arm with her left hand which is shaking as badly as mine is.

“Ma’am, we have to discuss this in private.” The younger soldier says, with a softer tone.

“I’m so sorry, Sir…” Roxie says with a shaky voice, “Please, come inside.” Turning her attention to me, she whispers into my ear, “Brittan, I know you’re scared but it could be other news. Maybe Cane is just injured. You can’t lose hope.”

I know she’s trying to be supportive, but I can feel it deep in my soul that Cane is gone. Tears continue to fall as I gaze out at the ocean and to all the happy people running around on the beach without a care in the world; while I stand up here with my heart breaking and my entire world shattering around me.

Roxie quickly moves in front of me, unlocks the door with her key, lets the two men into my condo and pulls me in behind her.

Roxie and I make our way over to my sofa and sit down while the two men stay standing in the center of my living room.

Holding his hat in his hands against his abdomen, the younger man focuses his eyes on me while Roxie holds my hand, squeezing it to the point where I don’t think the blood is flowing to my fingers.

“We’re sorry to inform you that Specialist Cane Allen died early this morning in Germany. His Humvee ran over an IUD in the early morning hours. He was flown to a military hospital in Germany for emergency surgery but…” He says pausing, then continues, “He succumbed to his injuries…”

Screams erupt from deep within me as the words I’ve been trying not to hear hit me like a freight train.

Cane. Is. Dead.

“No…no...” I look to Roxie for support, for her to demand they check again. It can’t be Cane. This isn’t how our story was supposed to end!

Roxie’s eyes are full of tears as she wraps her arms around me, while we sob against each other. “I’m so sorry, Brittan…so sorry.” She cries with her face buried into my hair.

Anger consumes me as I lunge at the soldier who looks no older than Cane. Beating my fists against his chest, I stare up at his eyes that were once cold and emotionless but are now turning sad as they witness my breakdown.

“Why?! Why Cane? It can’t be true…it can’t!” I cry out, as he wraps his arms around me.

“We’re truly sorry for your loss, ma’am. Specialist Allen was an amazing and dedicated soldier.”

I don’t even want to think about how many others he’s had to break this news to.

My head is spinning as my mind tries to process this.

Images of Cane walking up beside me all those years ago on that Fourth of July night play like a movie over and over in my mind: I remember his carefree smile and contagious laughter as he sat down beside me to watch the fireworks finale.

He took my breath away with just one look and stole my heart all at the same time. Now he’s taken it with him forever.

I’ll never see that smile again…never hear his laughter.

My knees go weak, giving out beneath me as I fall onto the floor. Kneeling on the hardwood, I lay my forehead against it as I scream out for Cane.

This isn’t real.

This is a nightmare, and all I want to do is wake up.

Please, just let me wake up!

“Cane…Cane…not my Cane!” My body is shaking as my sobs tear through me. My throat burns and my lungs ache.

I welcome the pain.

I hear Roxie speaking to the two men in front of me, but whatever they’re saying, I don’t process; I can’t process. My ears are ringing and are filled with the sounds of Cane echoing through them, repeatedly saying, “I love you, Brittan Nicole McKenna, one day you’re going to be my wife.”