Taming Damian(32)

Natalie made a devastating decision three years ago that has haunted her  ever since. It has been the secret she has kept from her family and  friends. It has been the darkness that has shaped her life. It has been  the moment that defines who she sees herself to be. And because of that  decision, she believes that she is forever broken and undeserving of  true happiness or love.

Dylan is looking for a broken soul to fall in love with. He is looking  for someone he can fix and heal. He believes that only by fixing someone  just as broken as he is, he will be able to finally fix himself and  forgive himself for a past tragedy he had put into action.

When Natalie's and Dylan's paths collide, will Dylan be able to break  through Natalie's walls and show her the love she undoubtedly deserve?  And will Natalie be just the person Dylan was looking for to fix  himself?



Forever Broken  –  PROLOGUE EXCERPT

(unedited and subject to change)



"Perhaps it is our imperfections that make us so perfect for each other." - Jane Austen

His body glistened with sweat as he rocked inside me. My nails dug deep  into the muscular hardness of his back as his body pounded violently  against me. His face twisted in pleasure as uncontrollable gasps and  moans escaped my lips. These scenes flashed rapidly through my closed  eyelids as if I was watching spliced clips from a movie inside my mind.  Almost like I was having an out-of-body experience. Almost like these  memories did not just happen.

My eyes fluttered opened. I must have dozed off for a few minutes there.  The room was pitch black and there was a musty smell of sweat and sex  in the air.

I felt hot, steady breathing against my left shoulder. I slowly turned  my head towards that direction and saw a guy sleeping next to me in bed.  He shifted slightly, his left leg and arm wrapped around my naked body,  trapping me in place. I felt suffocated by his hold on me and my mind  and body screamed to escape his stronghold.

I could hear the muffled sounds of distant chatter and a melodic dubstep  mix playing somewhere outside of the room. The frat party must still be  going on downstairs.

My chest moved up and down against the weight of this guy's arm as I  sighed deeply. Why did I get myself into this situation again?

To escape the pain, I heard a small voice respond inside me.

But escaping the pain was short lived. Not even the empty bliss of an  orgasm could keep it at bay for too long. I felt my body waking up from  the pain-numbing effects of the hot, casual sex I just had with this guy  that now had me pinned and trapped in his bed. I need to get out of  here.

I slowly shifted my body away from him, trying to inch myself out of his embrace without waking him.

I failed.

"Mmm," he growled in a husky voice as he curled his arm around my torso and tried to pull me towards him again.

I averted his touched and sat up on the edge of the bed.

"Where are you going with that sexy ass of yours?" he groaned as he reached behind him and turned on the lamp on bedside table.

I blinked. When my eyes readjusted to the light in his bedroom, I turned  towards him and saw his chiseled, naked body facing me in all of its  glory, showing me that he was ready again. "How about another round?" he  asked as he looked up at me with a devious smile twisted on his lips.  His eyes unabashedly looked back and forth between my face and my full  breasts.

As I stood up, his hand found mine and pulled me back down onto the bed.  Before I could pull away and get out of the bed, he guided my hand down  to his already-hard erection.

I looked away, cringing inside at what I had just done with this  stranger. "Sorry. I gotta go, John," I said as I finally managed to pull  my hand out of his grip. I got up quickly, grabbed my clothes from the  couch a few feet away from the bed, and started putting them on.

"Uh, it's Jim,"

"What?" I looked at him, realizing he was saying something to me. My  mind was somewhere else-already somewhere outside of this room.

"My name is Jim, not John."

"Oh. Right." I gave a feigned apologetic smile as I quickly buttoned my  jeans and grabbed my purse. I walked to the door of the bedroom and then  stopped to look at him quickly. "Well. Uh  …  thanks for the sex."

"No, thank you," he said huskily, "We should do it again." He licked his lips. "Soon."

"Uh huh," I lied. My hand eagerly reached for the door nob that would free me from facing this mistake.

"So, can I get your number then?" he asked. I knew this question would come. It always did.

I sighed. I opened the door and then turned around to face him.

"J-Jim. Look. I'm not looking for any type of relationship. If I was, I  probably wouldn't have slept with you after knowing you for half an hour  at a frat party." Shame filled me as I realized how I had just slept  with another man I had no feelings for.                       
       
           



       

"Let's call this for what it was," I continued. "An one-night-stand. You  were a great fuck, and I got my mind off some things I didn't want to  think about. And I'm pretty sure you had a great time too."

He smiled at me coyly, indicating his agreement.

"But, let's just keep it at that. Let's not drag this out."

"Oh, don't be like that," he teased. "We can still get to know one another and have a good time."

"Trust me," I said almost inaudibly as I turned away from him, "you don't want anything to do with me."

Without looking back at him, I walked out into the empty hallway and  closed his bedroom door behind me. Regret gripped inside me as I started  my walk-of-shame procession across the hallway, down the stairs,  through the almost-emptied living room of the frat house, and out the  door into the cold, bitter evening darkness that welcome me with open  arms.

I wasn't like this all the time. Actually, I haven't been in a  relationship for three years now. By choice. And yet, I don't usually  sleep around. But, when I do, something inside me seemed to go into a  full-throttle mode of being reckless, throwing all caution to the wind,  like an idiot who didn't know any better.

I knew better.

But why was I so reckless? Why did I tell him I didn't want to use a  condom? Why did I say I was on the pill when I wasn't? I shook my head  violently as I walked the few houses over on Greek Row to my sorority  house.

You know why, Natalie, I told myself.

I did. I knew exactly why I was reckless with a complete stranger, with  one of the many frat guys on this block who slept with hundreds of girls  during their college career.

I was fucked up in the head. Empty, mindless sex was one of the few  things I could do when I didn't want to face reality. When I didn't want  to feel the pain. When I could distance myself from  …  well, from none  other than myself-the empty shell of a person that I have become.

My life changed over three years ago, on January 25, 2010.

It was the day that I could never forget. It was the day that I could  never escape. It was the day that I made a conscious decision that had  forever scarred and shattered my soul. It was the day that had left me  forever broken.