Take Me On(33)

I scan the three pages while dread and hope battle for dominion. Oh, my God, I actually have a shot at winning this, but I’ll have to find some footage of my old fights and videotape me training West. I can show his training from beginning to end. And this is where the dread eats the hope. He’s going to need to spar, which means I will, too.

“Haley?” Mrs. Collins says. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine.” I run a hand through my hair. “Thank you for this. I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”

The smile on her face is so sincere that I relax in my chair. Maybe she’s not out to destroy me.

“Your grandfather speaks highly of you. He’s very proud of your accomplishments in his gym and at school.”

The relaxing turns to sagging. Great—guilt. One parent–teacher conference and they’re best friends for life. I pretend to read the application while she taps a pen against the desk. “When I first began social work, I was hired as a case worker in a homeless shelter.”

My eyes shoot to hers and she steadily holds my gaze. She knows. Dear God, she knows.

“It’s not easy to be without a home. It’s confusing and scary and if it’s that way for an adult, it has to be twice as terrifying for a teenager. I know you’re no longer there, but I also know things are still floating. Unfortunately, the state isn’t allowing me to take you on as a client, but because I work in this school you can talk to me anytime and my door will always be open.”

“How do you know?”

“Your parents didn’t sign up for the parent–teacher conference and then I couldn’t reach them by phone and the letter was returned, so I found your grandfather. Haley, he really does care about you.”

Care about me? I crave to crush his throat. He told her our family’s private business. Why didn’t he lie? Why didn’t he say it was a mistake? Why didn’t he tell her that we have a home?

I stand, wanting to leave, but not sure if I’m allowed. The scholarship application crackles in my hand. “Are you taking me away from my family?” The words slip out and I immediately wish I could take them back.

She shakes her head. “Regardless of what you believe, the state isn’t interested in destroying you or your family, and, from what I understand, you’re living in a safe environment. We’re here to help, Haley. I’m here to help.”

At the word safe, a bubble of hysterical laughter wells up inside me and bursts out of my mouth. The sound is definitely out of place and instead of making me feel better the laughter twists an already too-tight spring. Dizzy with the crazy emotions, I stumble for the door. Right as I touch the knob, I sober up and freeze.

Not that I’m complaining. “What do you mean you aren’t allowed to take me on?”

She leans back in her seat and the quirky set of her lips and eyes reminds me of how Jax stares at his opponent before entering the ring—as if she’s trying to figure out my next move. “My job at this school is to help those who the state believes need a little extra push in the right direction. Regardless of how I tried to convince the powers that be, you don’t fit the requirements for my program.”

I slump against the wall in relief. Oh, thank God, I can stop worrying about CPS arriving at the door and dragging me and Maggie away. “That’s good.”

“I guess,” she says. “But my gut says you need to talk to someone, and I have a sinking feeling once you walk out, I’ll never see you again.”

A twinge of guilt rocks me because every word out of her mouth is absolutely true: I do need to talk to somebody. I want to open my mouth and vomit out all that has happened, to take the darkness and give it to somebody else. I want the nastiness and decay out of my body, out of my soul, and maybe if I expelled it in words, then maybe, just maybe, the rot would be gone.

But it’s like my windpipe has collapsed and my voice box was taken hostage. To tell her about my life—losing my home, what happened with Matt—that would mean exposing myself.

I trusted Matt and that didn’t work out, and I was stupid enough to talk to West and he hasn’t acknowledged a word I said since it happened.

“Thanks,” I say to her while turning the knob. “But I’m fine.”





Chapter 36




West

In the cafeteria, Haley drops into the seat across from me and immediately pops a French fry into her mouth. “I’m considering tying your hands to your head. Maybe that way you’ll keep your guard up.”

I chuckle. Haley isn’t a “Hi” and useless conversation type of girl. She’s direct, to the point, not capable of bullshit, and I’m falling harder for her every day. I’m completely fucked because she’s damned insistent that we keep things “simple.” “I’m keeping my guard up.”

“What. Ever.”

I’ve been waiting for some sort of confirmation that she might see us as more than friends. More than coach and student. I slather a French fry in the ketchup, then push my tray away, wondering how much Haley’s had to eat all week. “Want to go to dinner tonight? Before we work out? My treat.”

She shakes her head without looking at me. “I’ve got to work before we go to the gym. You know, bills and all.” Weak smile on her part.

“What time do you get off? I’ll pick you up and get you to the gym.”

Haley scowls at her plate. She hates accepting help, but she mumbles, “Seven.”

For the first time since Rachel’s accident, I spot Isaiah at school. He walks in the side door pure night of the living dead—pale, dark circles under his eyes, the whole dead-on-his-feet montage. I stare at him and he assesses me like I’m scum.

I glance away first. He’s been standing by my sister, holding her hand, making her happy when I can’t. That deserves some respect.

Haley’s gaze flickers between the two of us. “You know him?”

“He’s Rachel’s boyfriend.”

Both of Haley’s eyebrows rise. “No kidding.”

“Wish I was.”

“How’d that happen?”

I shrug because I only know what others have told me. “They met drag racing.”

“Wow. Adrenaline rushes must be a family thing.”

I chuckle, never having thought of it that way. “Do you know him?”

“He lives in the same neighborhood as me, but I don’t know anything more than rumors and we both know that rumors typically aren’t true.”

We drop the subject of Isaiah and move on to fight strategy. When a scuffle in the corner draws her attention, I toss my remaining French fries onto her plate. I hold my breath when she turns back and breathe again when she doesn’t appear to notice. If I got caught doing that shit, she’d kick my ass.

“So I have this thing,” she says.

Interesting. “A thing?”

“Yeah, a thing.” Haley rummages through her backpack and withdraws a stapled-together pack of papers. “It’s a scholarship. A full ride and I really need it.”

She pauses and I feel like shit.

“Anyway,” she continues. “I have to submit a video and I’d like to tape me training you and some of your workouts to show why I’m a good candidate for the scholarship.”

I wiggle my fingers and she places the paperwork in my hands. Haley sucks in her bottom lip as she watches me from across the lunch table. “I’ll understand if you say no.”

Like I could say no to that face. “You didn’t have to create a big deal to get a video of me with my shirt off. I’d take it off if you simply asked.”

“Bwha...” It’s a short, sexy sound that accompanies an open mouth and red cheeks. I love it when she blushes. Since our night together, I’ve cut back on the sexual innuendos, but if she’s going to draw attention to her lips, then all bets are off.

I flip through the scholarship paperwork and the guilt that’s been killing me for the past three weeks mushrooms. With Haley’s current family situation, she needs this money and my father may be to blame. I’m home. She’s not. My life continues on as normal. She’s still living the nightmare. “Whatever you need, I’m your guy.”

Those gorgeous dark eyes brighten and her fork clangs against the tray when she drops it. “For real?”

“Yeah.” The least I can do is let her videotape our sessions.

Becoming the exact opposite of the hard-core drill instructor busting my ass at the gym, Haley claps her hands. Last night she continually screamed at me to keep up my guard as I ducked and weaved while pounding out a three-one kick combination on a bag.

She pushes her chair back and springs to my side of the table, wrapping both arms around my neck. “Thank you!”

Her hair falls forward, caressing my face, and her intoxicating scent envelops me. The memories of holding her all night flash in my mind. Never in my life have I felt such belonging and peace as when I lay awake watching her sleep.

My arms slide along her spine and, as I go to stand, she shifts back and kisses my cheek. Soft lips caress my skin and my fist clutches a strand of her hair. My heart beats hard and I turn my head, hoping to catch her mouth with mine. Our gazes meet and lust darkens her eyes.