Sweetest Sin(26)

The doors closed behind him.

I stepped from the dais and accepted my compliments from the others.

What was I to do?

The next person was called to sing. I walked to my seat, but I didn’t sit. I slipped from the sanctuary unnoticed, following in his footsteps to the adoration chapel.

He waited for me, silent and dark with a consecrated authority.

I stepped inside. The door closed behind me.

It was the first time the doors to the chapel had ever been locked.

And I had no idea what awaited me now that we were alone.





Chapter Six – Raphael




A hymn of seduction.

A song of a siren.

A cry for my help.

…Or a plea for my sin.

If I hadn’t known Honor came to me as an angel, I’d have feared the deception of the devil. Beauty was so often ruined with immorality, lusts of the flesh instead of praise for their blessing.

Honor enthralled me. Her presence wove through my mind and tangled in my soul.

I’d prayed with the rosaries during her song and beseeched any power—Mother Mary, Christ, my lost self—anyone who might have protected me from the thoughts temptation bred in my soul.

It hadn’t healed me of this obsession.

I trapped her in my church to feed the darkness within me. I no longer recognized myself or my urges, and I had no choice but to fight them. If we didn’t, if I surrendered to my instincts and sacrificed her beauty for my own selfish desires…

I wouldn’t be a priest.

I’d be a demon.

A monster.

And I wasn’t losing my soul, no matter what glorious satisfaction I might have seized.

The chapel darkened, unused for the moment. The red candle in the sanctuary lamp remained unlit. No spirit of Christ to protect us.

Honor slipped away, twisting as she refused to turn her back to me. My angel retreated, each step as deliberate and inviting as a curling finger beckoning me closer.

I twisted my fingers in the rosaries.

Hail Mary, full of grace…

Her lips parted, but she hadn’t spoken, not until she struck the altar.

It had to be the altar.

Why shouldn’t I adore her as I adored all else, set upon an altar as a sacrifice for everything that was me, my life, my vision…

The Lord is with thee…

“Forgive me, Father,” Honor gasped. Beautiful music, a soft song of penance. “The song was a mistake.”

I didn’t recognize the edge in my voice. I closed the distance between us in long strides, but even an arm’s length was too far for my aching body and too near for my fracturing soul.

“Did you sing it for me?”

Her nod was timid. “You said it was your favorite.”

“It is.”

“I should have just sung Ava Maria.” Honor ran a hand through her hair. The soft ebony curls tickled through her dark fingers like the holiest of waters. “I’m sorry, Father Rafe. I shouldn’t have…”

“I know why you did it.” It was the same reason I locked the door to the chapel. The key rested in my pocket. “It’s why we’re here. To answer for this sin.”

“Answer for it?” Honor met my gaze. “Or cause it?”

Blessed art thou among women…

I crossed myself. The truth haunted me, torn from my own confessions with a dire warning.

“You are my greatest challenge…” I motioned for her silence with a finger pressed to my lips. “But that does not make you wicked. It means you are a woman—beautiful and vibrant, honest and kind. Every inch of you begs for sin because it is sanctified by the light.”

I might’ve touched her then—run a hand along her high, proud cheekbones or delighted myself with a brush of her lips against my thumb.

But I resisted.

And I passed that first test.

“If I had not taken a vow…promised myself to a higher calling…” My words breathed in a heated sigh. “I’d cast myself upon my knees before you, Honor. I’d worship you as the angel of seduction that you are.”

Honor closed her eyes, but her voice didn’t waver. “I should go.”

“You must finish your confession first.”

“I…can’t.”

Another step closer. “Why? Afraid of what happened last time?”

We both shivered. I imagined her quiet touches again, the only image I couldn’t purge from my mind, my dreams, my torment.

Blessed is the fruit of thy womb…

Her whisper thrilled me in dark delight. “That’s exactly the reason I should go. These things we’re saying, the desires we have…”

They were ours and ours alone.

“Do you fear it?” I asked.

“Yes.”

She edged past me, aiming for the exit, another easy way to avoid this confrontation. She was stronger than this.