Sweet Surrender With the Millionaire(23)

'I told you, it wasn't you.' She lowered her head again, smoothing her  dress over her knees with small jerky movements. 'Piers was a control  freak,' she whispered after a moment or two. 'I suppose the signs were  there before we got married but I was too inexperienced to recognise  them. Maybe we'd never have married if my parents hadn't died, I don't  know.' She shrugged wearily. 'But we did marry and within a little while  he'd turned into someone else. He-he built himself up by knocking me  down. Not physically, at least not until the end, but he'd make me feel  stupid, worthless, ugly.'

Morgan's hand covered one of hers. She could feel his anger.

'We'd stand like we stood tonight and all the time he'd keep up a litany  of what I'd done wrong, how embarrassing I was, how people felt sorry  for him because he was with me. It-it was just now and again at first  and he said he was pointing out things for my own good, because he loved  me so much. Then it got more and more-' She stopped abruptly. 'But to  everyone else, even Beth, he appeared the loving husband. After I left  him she said she'd known something was wrong but she thought I was still  grieving for Mum and Dad.'

'You didn't confide in her?' he asked quietly. 'Not even Beth?'

She shook her head. 'I can't believe I didn't now, but at the time … ' She  shook her head again. 'He made me believe I was in the wrong. He-he was  very clever.'

'I can think of a better word to describe him.' He reached out and  smoothed a strand of hair from her cheek. 'What made you finally break  his control?'

She looked at him. Yes, that was exactly what she had done, she thought  with an element of surprise. At the time she'd looked on her leaving him  as an escape, a feral, self-preservation thing, but it was more than  that. The night she had fought back with everything she had-spirit, soul  and body-something had been broken. She might have been left  emotionally and physically battered, but it had been her who had won.  She had become herself again that night, albeit an older, wiser self.

'He went too far,' she said flatly. 'Much too far.'                       
       
           



       

'Don't tell me if you don't want to.'

She thought for a moment. Did she want to? There was an unsettling blend  of tenderness and anger in the tough male face and she knew the anger  wasn't directed against her. Something melted. 'He threw his dinner on  the floor. It wasn't the first time but that night something in me  snapped … '

She told him it all, even the fact that towards the end of their fight  she'd known he intended to violate her, which had brought a strength she  hadn't known she was capable of. She wasn't aware she was trembling  until he leaned across and pulled her into him, one arm holding her  close as he rested his chin on the silk of her hair. 'I would give all I  own for five minutes alone with this man. He'd never touch another  woman again.'

His voice had been soft but of a quality that brought her head up as her  eyes sought his. What she saw in his face made her say quickly, 'It's  all right. I'm all right. I am, really.'

'Are you?' The blue eyes were piercingly direct and she found she couldn't break their hold.

She had to swallow hard before she said, 'Of course.'

'For something like this there is no "of course".'

A long pause ensued but their gazes didn't unlock. She wondered why it  was that this man, a man she hadn't known until a short while ago,  seemed to understand how deeply she had been affected by Piers' cruelty  when most of her friends had expected her to bounce back within weeks or  certainly a few months. Hesitantly, she whispered, 'I'm getting there  but-'

'What?' His gaze didn't waver. 'What's the but?'

'I never want to give the control of my life over to someone else again,' she said with total honesty.

For a moment he continued to stare at her, then a slight twist of a  smile touched his lips. 'It scares the hell out of me too,' he admitted  huskily, his mouth falling on hers. His lips were warm and firm and as  hers opened instinctively beneath them his tongue probed the corner or  her mouth, teasing her, coaxing a response she was powerless to resist.  The kiss changed to one of infinite hunger and she heard him groan, a  half-irritated groan at the limitations within the car as he tried to  move closer and was restricted by the controls.

He raised his head, faint amusement in his voice as he murmured, 'I  haven't done this for years and now I remember why. You need to be a  contortionist.'

Aiming to match his tone, she said, 'You haven't kissed a girl?'

His laugh was a deep rumble. 'Made out in a car. The idea's good but the  reality is less than practical.' The blue eyes held hers. 'Coffee at  your place?'

Aware that something vital had changed in the last minutes she felt a  yearning that cut through all her carefully thought-out guidelines for  the future. 'Yes,' she whispered. Crazy, madness even, but yes.

CHAPTER TEN

THEY said very little on the drive back from the hotel. Morgan was aware  he was driving on automatic, every part of himself tuned into the woman  sitting so calm and still beside him. She appeared poised and composed,  dispassionate even.

The calmness was a façade. He knew it as surely as drawing in the next  breath. Willow had said she didn't want a permanent relationship. Well,  neither did he. Not a relationship that came with a whole load of  conditions at least. So why did her honesty grate so much? And it did.  Hell, it did.

She was as tense as a coiled spring behind that composed exterior. He  knew it. He took a bend much too fast and as the tyres squealed warned  himself to concentrate. The anger he felt towards the ex-husband who'd  left her so painfully damaged was growing, not diminishing. He wanted to  make things right for her, to convince her she was a beautiful, sexy,  gorgeous woman whom any man would count himself lucky to have in his  arms. That was what he wanted. Because it was true.

Oh, yeah? His conscience wouldn't let him get away with it. So this had  nothing to do with the fact he'd wanted to make love to her from the  first time he'd seen her tending that damn silly bonfire, all smudged  and tousled and deliciously bewildered? The gnawing hunger for her body  had been with him for night after torturous night, that was the truth of  it. She'd stormed into his dreams every time he'd laid his head on the  pillow and resolutely stayed there no matter how many cold showers he'd  taken. And he had taken plenty.                       
       
           



       

OK, OK. He made mental acknowledgement to his desire. But a good healthy  sex life between a man and a woman couldn't be anything but satisfying  for both of them, could it? Damn it, it was what made the world go  round, after all.

And what about all his protestations of friendship and letting matters  develop at their own pace? Did he genuinely think she was ready for  this? Emotionally, where it counted with a woman?

His thoughts went round and round in his head and when he reached the  lane leading to his house and Willow's cottage he had to admit he had no  clear recollection of the journey from the hotel. He parked on the  grass verge outside her garden gate, walking round the bonnet and  helping her out of the car without saying a word. She looked slender and  delicate, vulnerable.

'You're beautiful.' As he took her in his arms in the dark shadows the  tenseness in her shoulders became apparent. He drew her closer, dropping  little kisses on her hair and forehead until she slowly relaxed against  him with a breath of a sigh. Her hands had been small fists against his  chest but now her fingers uncurled and crept down to his waist as her  body curved closer into his.

He let his mouth caress her cheeks, her nose, her ears with the same  small kisses, making no demands. 'You're beautiful,' he murmured again  before taking her mouth in a deeper kiss, his hands falling to her hips  as he brought her softness against the hard evidence of his arousal. 'So  very beautiful … '

He could feel her slowly relaxing minute by minute and for some time he  contented himself with exploring the sweetness of her mouth, bringing  all his control to bear to prevent himself crushing her against him. If  he hadn't known she had been married he would have thought he was  dealing with a virgin by the nervousness he was sensing; it was further  proof of just how badly her ex-husband had hurt her.

The night was cool but not cold and the darkness was scented with the  faint aroma of hedgerows and woodsmoke. Somewhere in the distance an owl  hooted but Morgan's world had shrunk down to the woman in his arms. He  wanted her, he thought with an ache in his loins that was painful, but  he wanted more than her body. He could hardly remember this feeling; it  had been a long time since Stephanie when he'd thought he'd been in love  and wanted to know every little thing about a woman.