Surviving Broken(63)

Reed leaned forward and reached for her hand. “How’d she get better?”

“Well, after months of trying, my sister forced her—literally—to get out of bed and go running with her. From that day on, Tracy dragged her out of the house every day to either go running, biking, or boxing and a few months later she met Tom.” A small smile pulled at her lips. “They’re crazy about each other.”

He gazed at her sympathetically, turning small circles in her palm with his thumb. “I’m sorry.”

She wiped the hot tears dripping from her jaw. “Obviously, she’s fine now. Her and Tom fell in love the moment they laid eyes on each other, but I remember thinking she was gonna die of a broken heart after my dad died. It scared the hell out of me. The idea that loving somebody so much could hurt you so deeply. Deep enough you wanted to lay down and die without them...” JC shuddered at the memory. “Anyway, that’s how I learned to cook.”

He brushed the wetness from her cheek with his knuckles. Reed frowned intently as if contemplating what to say. “Did you ever ask her?”

“Ask her what?”

“Ask her if loving your daddy so deeply was worth all the pain and sadness?”

JC’s face fell expressionless. She felt as if a boulder had rolled down from the hillside and landed on her chest. Her chin quivered and she stared at him in astonishment.

“I’m just askin’. You said earlier the last thing you’d ever want to do is put your words out there then have that person leave and never come back. Is that why you’re so afraid of words?” he questioned in a hushed voice.

Totally dumbfounded, she opened her mouth to respond, only had no answer. Nobody but her sister ever talked to her so directly. JC’s gaze fell to the ocean. Was she afraid to love a man, fearing if he died, she’d have to survive the pain of a broken heart?

Reed tugged on her hand and pulled her onto his lap. “I bet she’d tell you it was worth it. I bet your momma would do it all over again if she had the chance. Don’t ya think?”

Her brows creased as she remembered his tattoo. Nearly half-dozen flowers represented the people he’d lost in his life. She hugged her arms around his neck and laid her cheek on his shoulder. “I don’t think my mom would change one thing in her life. She believes everything in life happens for a reason.” JC asked with empathy, “What happened to your dad after your momma died?”

Tenderly, he stroked her leg from her hip to her foot, slipping the strap of her heels from behind her ankles. Reed rubbed her feet, seemingly admiring every detail, taking a long amount of time to answer. “After my momma died, my father drank his way all the way to the pearly gates.” He huffed out a sad matter-of-fact chortle. “He just gave up, climbed into a bottle and never came out. He’d always been a drinker, but he couldn’t live without her.”

She caressed his earlobe with her fingers. “That’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard.”

“I was pissed at him for a long time, but I understand now. That was his decision. I happen to think life is worth living. No matter how painful at times.”

They snuggled together in silence as the sun slowly sank into the ocean.

Reed Rider had just told her something about herself she’d never been able to figure out or accept. Her mother had asked her, Tracy questioned her about it, even John brought the conversation up once and mocked her several times in a brotherly teasing way. Why are you so afraid of falling in love? In less than a week, Reed understood her more than anyone did. JC was afraid, absolutely terrified, to love a man wholeheartedly then lose him.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Reed kissed her shoulder.

She stood from his lap and turned to face him, standing between his thighs. “You didn’t upset me. I’m surprised you understand me. And I happen to agree. Life is worth living.”

“JC, I need to tell—”

She kissed him. Every fear she ever had escaped her. Every wall she’d built up came tumbling down. Every rule in her rulebook was about to be broken. JC kissed him without thoughts. Only feelings. She savored the heat of his mouth, the smoky hint of wine on his breath, the rhythm of his heartbeat.

Recklessly allowing herself to become fully absorbed in his kiss without limits or boundaries. She searched deeper with her tongue, consumed in greedy possessive kisses. He responded ravenously with needs of his own, anchoring his mouth over hers. There were no thoughts or impulses, only raw passionate pleasure. The warm touch of his hands sparked pleasing flicks of heat on her skin cooled from the evening air. She moaned into his mouth, wanting more. Needing more.