Surviving Broken(67)

Resting on his elbows, Reed clutched his hand to the side of her neck, devouring her neck and throat. “I’ll be gentle,” he whispered considerately, nudging at her wet opening.

The weight of his body lying atop her and the power of his hand on her neck began to suffocate her. She tried to tell Reed to stop, but her chest tightened and the words caught in her throat. JC squirmed and struggle beneath him. His thumb circled the hollow of her throat, triggering a full-blown panic attack.

“I can’t breathe.” JC swatted and shoved at Reed, gasping frantically for air. She felt like she was having a heart attack. She lost control, kicking, screaming. “Don’t touch me! Stop it! Don’t kill me. Luca, stop, you’re hurting me!”

White noise rang loudly in her ears and her surroundings shrank into the darkness.





CHAPTER THIRTEEN



“JC. JC, just breathe.”

JC’s eyes remained clamped shut as Reed’s voice echoed through the darkness. Sweat covered her skin and she shook violently, slouched against the headboard of her bed. Her arms wrapped tightly herself as she sat on her knees, rocking back-and-forth, sobbing.

“Darlin’, look at me. Open your eyes. It’s me, Reed.” He barely touched her shoulder and she flinched, cowering from his touch. “Open your eyes, JC.”

When she did, Reed stood in front of her with his hands in the air, making it clear he wouldn’t touch her again. Her heart raced and a tingling sensation covered her damp skin. A wave of nausea flooded over her and she held her cramping stomach.

“Just breathe.” He approached her with a small trashcan from the corner of her room. “Are you gonna get sick?”

“M...m..maybe.” Her hand shook uncontrollably as she reached for the can.

He stepped three feet back and picked up his jeans lying on the floor.

“P… please don’t leave m…me,” she cried out in fits.

He dropped the pants and came to her, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I wasn’t gonna leave, darlin’. I was just gonna put my pants on. I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”

Nodding through a slick of tears, she ditched the trashcan and scrambled to him, climbing into his lap. “I’m sorry, Reed. I’m so embarrassed.”

Tremors screamed through her body, quaking her to the bone. She clung to him for warmth and comfort, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

“Shhh. Just breathe.” He stroked her hair and strained limbs for what seemed like an hour, until her breathing went back to normal and her sniffles quieted.

“I don’t know what happened. I couldn’t breathe.” JC hid her face, unable to find the courage to look at him.

“I’m pretty sure you had a panic attack.” He withdrew slightly from her clutches and tilted his head so he could see her. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

Her eyes drifted to the sheet then back to Reed’s. His blue eyes filled with anguish and concern, and his golden-brown skin turned pale with distress. JC’s lip twitched and she frowned. She knew she owed him an explanation, but she didn’t want to ever tell anyone what had happened to her.

“Why don’t you start by telling me who Luca is and why you thought I was going to kill you.”

She felt the blood drain from her face as she shifted uncomfortably in his lap. “I said that?”

His brow raised and he nodded.

JC climbed off his lap and crawled under the covers. She lay on her side and patted the bed next to her. Reed slid in beside her and rested his head on the palm of his hand. She didn’t know where to start and it took minutes before she could utter a word. A permanent worried frown covered his face as he stroked and massaged her arm for support, waiting patiently for her to explain.

“The man I dated a few months ago turned out to be...not a nice guy. I stayed with him for about eight months. He wasn’t really my boyfriend, well I called him my boyfriend a few times, but only cause I didn’t know what else to call him.” She rambled on, spewing words out in clusters. Guilt consumed her for calling another man her boyfriend. She wanted to call Reed her boyfriend, only Reed. “I didn’t love him. I’ve never—”

“It’s okay if you called him your boyfriend.” His tone filled with understanding and reassurance.

Hot tears ran down her temple onto her pillow. “No, it’s not okay, Reed. There are certain things, silly things, which carry a lot of meaning to me. Certain words like boyfriend, making love, and I love you’s, mean something to me. For some reason I’ve always wanted to hold on to those words and only say them to someone, a man who is special to me. It’s always been important for me, kind of sacred.”