Sunsets at Seaside(78)

She laughed at the quirky smile on his beautiful lips as he spoke.

“I would rather know that you’re just as committed to me—to our relationship—before making love to you, so maybe it’s better if we talk and then decide where we go next.”

A nod brought his arms around her in a warm embrace that her body took as an invitation to go soft against him. Talking was not going to be easy.

Jamie held her hand as he guided her through the wide hardwood foyer, over inlaid mosaic tiles in a spacious living room, past a fireplace and several sets of French doors.

“Your home is gorgeous.” There were so many textures, she wanted to reach out and touch them all, from what looked like reclaimed wooden planks on the wall, which jutted out at different angles and depths, to the rough stone surrounding the fireplace.

“Thank you. Let’s talk in here.” He held her hand as she stepped down two deep wooden stairs into a cozy nook furnished with upholstered antique armchairs in rich fall colors, a deep chocolate sofa, and dark wood bookshelves against two-story stone walls. Sconces were placed on either side of two arched windows, making the room even more inviting. But when Jamie turned her in his arms and touched his forehead to hers, she no longer wanted to talk, no matter how inviting the deep sofa and intimate setting was.

“In case you decide that you no longer want to be with me after we talk, I want you to know that I adore you. I know it happened fast, and we only know about a tenth of what we should about each other, but I have never missed anyone as much as I’ve missed you these last few days, and if anyone knows about missing people, it’s me.” He pressed his lips to her forehead.

“Let’s skip talking and just be close, Jamie. I missed you, too, and I want to be closer. As close as we can be.”

His lips curved up, but he shook his head. “On the way inside I realized that I don’t want to use our passion as a bandage to cover what happened these last few days. I want to make love to you with a clear conscience, and I want you to have the same peace of mind. You deserve to be cherished. I dropped the ball and doubted.”

Doubted?

“Come on, baby.” He led her to the luxurious sofa.

She watched him pour the wine at a bar in the corner of the room. He glanced up and smiled as he moved the bottle from one wineglass to the next, and when he came to her side, she couldn’t imagine how she’d gone the last few days without him. Jamie handed her a glass and slid in beside her, one arm draped over her shoulder.

“I don’t want any secrets between us, Jess. Our relationship can’t work if we’re constantly looking over our shoulders for skeletons to come out of the dark.”

“I know. I’ve never lied to you, which is why what you said earlier rattled me.”

Jamie dropped his eyes to his glass. “I know. I’m not proud of how I’ve acted. That night I went to meet Mark, I went a little crazy. I punched him and kind of lost my mind over what he’d said to you.”

Her eyes widened. She’d never known a man to hit someone else. Especially over her. “You punched him?”

Jamie nodded. “That night, he had me so confused that I didn’t know what to believe.”

“So, he made you doubt me?” Her stomach sank again.

“This is so hard to admit. I’m such an idiot. Yes, he said things that made me doubt you a little. I didn’t know what to believe, and then you were gone. Jessie, I’m sorry. I’m ashamed for all of it. I should have left his hotel room and gone straight back to you to talk it through, but I was confused, and…”

“And he’s your attorney and friend, who has always given you solid advice and looked out for you for all these years regardless of how much of a jerk he was to me, or Jenna, or probably half a dozen other women in your life.” She lowered her eyes to his hand. The stone on the ring was green. Worried.

“Yes. And I know he’s a total jerk. Truly, I hated how he treated you. I gave him a hard time for that, and I’ll fire him if it’ll bring you back to me.”

“Jamie, I’m confused. What did he make you doubt about me?”

“I promised to be honest with you, and I will.” He exhaled and brought his hand to her shoulder. “I just have to sit with you for a minute in case you decide this is it. I just want this moment to remember.”

She had no idea what could be that difficult to talk about. In her life, if there were issues with other musicians, she talked with them. With the few friends she had in the orchestra, she told them when things bothered her and they did the same, without hard feelings. They weren’t close friends, but how could this be so difficult? What had she done that would warrant such a reaction? She began to imagine that it wasn’t her he was worried about. Maybe he’d turned to another woman for comfort. Oh no, that made her a little queasy.