Suddenly Dirty(57)
“Sienna.” I hear him say. That voice is going to drive me mad.
“Get out,” I yell, as I jump out of my bed and head towards him.
“Sienna, please, we need to talk.”
Pushing against him, I can feel the tears threatening to fall from my eyes.
“Just leave me alone, Evan. Why the hell can’t you leave me alone?”
His arms wrap around me hugging me tight. My tears fall and I silently sob in his arms. He holds me, comforting me in silence until finally I stop crying and look up into his blue eyes.
“You need to leave now, Evan.”
He seems upset at my request.
“You need to leave me alone, please just leave me alone. I can’t do this anymore. Just let me go, okay.”
Evan looks shocked at my words. He slowly nods his agreement and makes his way to the door. “I’m sorry, Sienna.” And with that he shuts the door behind him leaving me in tears once again.
Home sweet home; I thought walking through the doors. It has been a while since I’ve been home. The ring box is burning a hole in my pocket. It was the right thing to do. Hailey deserves it after everything we have been through; I knew I hadn’t been there for her as much as I should have but the band has just taken off and we are getting more and more media exposure. We have even been asked to fill in on the festival tour at the last minute – it was our big break. But I knew Hailey wasn’t dealing well with the miscarriage, and if I was honest, neither was I.#p#分页标题#e#
I love Hailey, we are high school sweethearts; she’s the love of my life. But we were given a shit hand when we lost our baby. I was excited at the thought of being a dad even though I wasn’t ready to be one. While I was away she lost the baby early in the pregnancy and I couldn’t get time off to see her, so instead, like a dick, I decided to self-medicate with alcohol and drugs and went a little crazy on tour, nearly getting myself kicked out. But I’m back now to let her know that I am sorry that I wasn’t there for her over the last couple of months and that I want us to get married, to become a real family and have her travel with me on the road with the band, no more time apart.
I took the first flight out from LA to Houston as soon as the tour was finished. I wanted to surprise her when she woke up; with me on my knees asking her to be my wife. Slowly creeping through our house, making my way to the bedroom, I push open the bedroom door. My heart is racing with excitement and nervousness. It had been too long since I had seen her. Opening the door further, there she was, laying in bed. But my eyes were drawn to the second figure in the bed with her. I stepped closer, not believing my eyes, because my Hailey couldn’t possibly have someone else in bed with her. As I did, the floorboard creaked alerting them to my presence.
“Evan, fuck. What are you doing here?” Hailey screams, waking up the second person in the bed. My eyes grow wide when I realize who it is; Kevin, my best friend, the man I asked to look after her while I was away, the man I trusted.
“You fucking bastard,” I roar, launching myself at him.
***
Waking up with a start, my heart is racing. I try to work out where the hell I am this week; my body’s bathed in sweat from my nightmare. Fuck, I haven’t dreamt about Hailey in years, why the hell am I starting to now? Sienna! Fuck. I scrub my hands over my face in disbelief. The past couple days since Paris, Sienna has been avoiding me. I’ve tried texts, emails, face to face. I even sent her flowers. Everything has been ignored. I miss her. I fucked up big time in Paris. Never in my life have I forgotten protection and now there could be a chance that I’ve knocked her up, even though she told me that it would be highly unlikely because she’s on birth control. But the thought that Sienna could be pregnant is driving me crazy.
Maybe that’s why I’ve started dreaming of Hailey again; I’m worried that the same thing might happen to Sienna. It would destroy me to lose another child. I’m older, wiser now and the thought of having kids doesn’t scare the shit out of me as much as it did in my early twenties. But being a rock star isn’t the life for a kid or a wife.
***
“Hey dickhead, stop mopping, we are in fucking Amsterdam,” Finn says, grabbing me by the shoulders. “You okay?” He queries, looking at me with concern on his face. I nod that I’m okay as we walk along the hotel’s hallway towards the lifts. We’re heading down to the lobby where the other guys are waiting.
“Are things not so good for you and Sienna?”
My eyes look at my friend with gloom. “Yep, it’s all gone to shit.”