Stupid Girl(111)

Butterflies churned in my stomach, and I found I couldn’t look away. Still, I kept silent.

Brax dropped his hand. “The night we were together, someone got me on their iPhone leaving your dorm. At first, I denied everything. They wouldn’t go for it. Then I tried to convince the guys to drop the dare, or drop you from it.” He let out a short laugh, sarcastic, angry. “When words didn’t work, I used my fists. That didn’t work, either. Egged them on, actually.” He looked at me. “They wouldn’t leave it alone. You fascinated them almost as much as you did me. And that ring?” He brushed his fingers over where that slight silver ring used to rest. “It just made the dare that much more exciting. And the more of a big deal I made of it, the worse they got.” His gaze moved to the sky. “Evans got word to the Kappas that you weren’t a virgin after all. I got to thinking that it’d all die down after the Blitz. Figured they’d grow the fuck up and move on. Evans didn’t help matters. He prodded. Made it flame.” The crystal stare moved back to me. “Then you showed up at the Blitz.” He again shook his head, and his breath frosted out in a puff of white. “Cory found out you were there and I’d tried to get to you before they announced everything. Christ, I’d never felt so shitty in my entire life. And I lost it.” A look of raw emotion flashed over his eyes. “I realized long before that night, at what you really, truly meant—” He sighed. “Mean to me, Gracie. When you drove away with Hicks?” He blew out another gusty sigh. “Ate me alive. And I’m sorry for not only starting the whole fucking dare thing,” he laced his fingers through mine, “but for not stopping it. The last thing in this world I’d ever want to do is hurt you.”

Thoughts ran cross-road style in my head as I tried to process everything Brax told me. I knew he meant them—I could see the sincerity in his eyes. He was being honest. Yet something held me back. I couldn’t put a finger on it, and it infuriated me.

“The morning I left you? Christ, you were lying there, so fucking peaceful, with your hair all around you. You made it hard for me to breathe, Gracie. It was the hardest fucking thing I’d ever done in my life, leaving you there alone.” He looked away, struggling for words, then stared back at me. “I had no idea when I left that I wasn’t coming back to you.”

My insides froze. “What do you mean?”

Brax let out a harsh breath. “Cory called me. Said Evans was drunk as all holy fuck yelling outside the Kappa house.” His eyes hardened. “About you and some video he had.” The muscles tightened in Brax’s jaw. “I slipped out of your room and hauled ass over there, ready to put a stop to the whole fucking thing. Sure enough, Evans was there, letting everything he knew about you out.” A sadistic curve settled over his mouth. “I beat the fuck out of him that morning, Gracie. If Cory hadn’t pulled me off, I might have killed him.”

My heart seized, and I shivered. I’d known there were cellular videos of me acting stupid at that party with Kelsy. “What happened?”

Brax stared straight ahead for a few seconds before turning a full gaze on me. “Evans’ father happened.”

Icy fingers of dread clutched at me. “What?”

“One of Evans’ dick buddies had called his father before I’d even shown up. Said his boy was in trouble. He, uh,” he scrubbed his jaw. “He brought a few thugs of his own. Pulled me off Kelsy and beat me pretty good.” Brax looked at me. “He told me it’d be in your best interest if I left you alone. Stayed away from Kelsy. That with the pictures and video he had of you, he could make sure your life at Winston would be pure hell.” He looked out of the loft. “He said he even knew a few people on the scholarship board. Said if I didn’t leave his boy alone he could make you look real bad. And after what he’d already done to you and your family, I fucking believed him.”

Words escaped me, and it grew harder and harder to breathe. “Oh my … God.”

Brax traced my jaw with his thumb, and his eyes, filled with worry and pain, sought mine. “I knew I couldn’t chance it. Risk you getting hurt, in any way. So I left.” He sighed. “Then, the more I dwelled on it, the more the selfish part of me kicked in. I thought we could handle whatever trash shit Evans threw at us together. I couldn’t stay away from you. I missed you so fucking bad, it hurt. And I wanted to explain what had happened.” He shook his head. “Maybe even go to the cops or something. I just couldn’t let you keep on thinking I was a soulless prick who took advantage of you.”