Strike to the Heart(18)

“He’s hot. You’re mmm mmm.” Darcy crossed her fingers and waved them.

“We aren’t seeing each other anymore.” I’d seen to that.

The teasing look dropped from Darcy’s face. “What? I thought you really liked him?”

“It was going nowhere.” Zane had probably already hooked up with someone else. A guy like that was never unattached.

“Why?” Darcy asked.

“He’s got his thing. He’s busy and I’m traveling and …” I trailed off, losing my train of thought completely. I didn’t know how to explain my feelings for Zane. I didn’t want to have feelings for Zane. They’d fade away soon and I could move on.

Darcy tapped her finger on the table. “I don’t get it. You two seemed to have it.”

“It?”

“The right chemistry. And if anyone looks at you sideways, he could totally take them out.”

I didn’t laugh. I couldn’t laugh about it. There was so much risk to what Zane did—the risk of injury or worse. It was just one more reason I’d made the right choice. “I wouldn’t want to see him get hurt.”

“You mean the fighting thing? Yeah, that’s tough. I suppose he’d want you to be there if you could.”

“No, you don’t understand. This is the same shit I went through with Alex.”

“What? What are you talking about? Zane and Alex are nothing alike.”

I whipped up my anger. “They are exactly alike. Guys who get whatever they want, whenever they want with no regard for others. Risking everything for a thrill while people who care for them look on.”

Darcy looked dumbfounded. “Alex was selfish. Everything he wanted came first. He never compromised on anything. It was his way or no way. That had nothing to do with the fact he was a race car driver.”

I shook my head. “It had everything to do with it. That’s the kind of temperament it takes to compete in something so dangerous.”

“I don’t know which one came first for him, but I don’t think ‘asshole’ is on the qualification list for the Monaco Grand Prix.”

I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to argue with Darcy. She was trying to be supportive, but I didn’t want anyone to try to talk me out of my choices. What if Darcy was right and I was wrong? I didn’t want to know. Not now. “Tell me something about you.”

Darcy paused. “Actually, I do have something to tell you.”

Her voice told me it wasn’t positive. “What?”

“I’m leaving the tour.”

“That’s not funny. Don’t even joke about that.” If that was her attempt to distract me from Zane, it wasn’t working.

“I’m not joking. You know I don’t have what it takes.”

“Darcy, listen, you played well. We played well. There are opportunities in doubles. We were close to making the quarterfinals.”

“I know players can make a career out of doubles, but I’m done. My rank isn’t going up. It’s going down, and it has been for a long while. You know that.”

“Everyone has dry spells.” It was part of the game. Even top players dropped in rank from time to time.

“This isn’t a dry spell and you know it. I’m not going to get better. My best tennis is behind me.”

My throat swelled. Play on the tour without Darcy? It was unthinkable. We’d been together forever. Tennis camp. School. Junior tournaments. I didn’t have other close friends among the players. Darcy was it.

Darcy leaned in. “It’s a good time to go. My father’s offered me a position in sports and recreation. If I prove myself, I can move up.”

Darcy’s family owned a string of luxury hotels in exotic locations. She’d shared that she wanted to go into the family business after retirement from tennis, but I’d never imagined retirement would come so soon. “Darcy, have you thought this through? I know I haven’t been able to play, but—”

“I’m withdrawing from the tournaments I committed to. I know it seems sudden, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I want to get on with the rest of my life. Tennis isn’t my life.”

“But—”

Darcy took my hands. “Tennis is your life. You’re going to be number one soon. That’s awesome. Amazing. But I’m done. If it weren’t for you, I’d probably have quit already. It’s what’s best for me.”

Was it? Maybe I wasn’t thinking about what was best for Darcy but what was best for me. I loved having her around cheering me on. I loved having her to practice with and hang out. How hadn’t I seen that she was unhappy? I knew she struggled, but I never considered that she wouldn’t get better. I thought if we kept at it, her serve would improve, she’d get faster, and her backhand would become killer. While it had happened for me, it hadn’t for her.