Stranger in a Strange Land(75)
By: Robert A. HeinleinThe camera angle made a reverse cut, showing the congregation and centering on Brother and Sister Renwick. To wild applause and shouts of “Hallelujah!” Brother Renwick was responding with a boxer’s handshake over his head, while his wife blushed and smiled and dabbed at her eyes beside him.
The camera cut back as the Shepherd held up his hand for silence. He went on briskly, “The Bon Voyage party for the Renwicks will start promptly at midnight and the doors will be locked at that time—so get here early and let’s make this the happiest revelry our flock has ever seen, for we’re all proud of Art and Dottie. Funeral services will be held thirty minutes after dawn, with breakfast immediately following for the benefit of those who have to get to work early.” The Shepherd suddenly looked very stern and the camera panned in until his head filled the tank. “After our last Bon Voyage, the sexton found an empty pint bottle in one of the Happiness rooms . . . of a brand distilled by sinners. That’s past and done, as the brother who slipped has confessed and paid penance sevenfold, even refusing the usual cash discount—I’m sure he won’t backslide. But stop and think, My Children— Is it worth risking eternal happiness to save a few pennies on an article of worldly merchandise? Always look for that happy, holy seal-of-approval with Bishop Digby’s smiling face on it. Don’t let a sinner palm off on you something ‘just as good.’ Our sponsors support us; they deserve your support. Brother Art, I’m sorry to have to bring up such a subject—”
“That’s okay, Shepherd! Pour it on!”
“—at a time of such great happiness. But we must never forget that—” Jubal reached over and switched off the speaker circuit.
“Mike, that’s not anything you need to see.”
“Not?”
“Uh—” Jubal thought about it. Shucks, the boy was going to have to learn about such things sooner or later. “All right, go ahead. But come talk to me about it later.”
“Yes, Jubal.”
Harshaw was about to add some advice intended to offset Mike’s tendency to take literally anything he saw or heard. But the telephone’s soothing “hold” music suddenly went down and out, and the screen filled with an image—a man in his forties whom Jubal at once labeled in his mind as “cop.”
Jubal said aggressively, “You aren’t Gil Berquist.”
The man said, “What is your interest in Gilbert Berquist?”
Jubal answered with pained patience, “I wish to speak to him. See here, my good man, are you a public employee?”
The man barely hesitated. “Yes. You must—”
“I ‘must’ nothing! I am a citizen in good standing and my taxes go to pay your wages. All morning I have been trying to make a simple phone call—and I have been passed from one butterfly-brained bovine to another, and every one of them feeding out of the public trough. I am sick of it and I do not intend to put up with it any longer. And now you. Give me your name, your job title, and your pay number. Then I’ll speak to Mr. Berquist.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Come, come! I don’t have to answer your questions; I am a private citizen. But you are not . . . and the question I asked you any citizen may demand of any public servant. O’Kelly versus State of California 1972. I demand that you identify yourself—name, job, number.”
The man answered tonelessly, “You are Doctor Jubal Harshaw. You are calling from—”
“So that’s what took so long? Stopping to have this call traced. That was stupid. I am at home and my address can be obtained from any public library, post office, or telephone information service. As to who I am, everyone knows who I am. Everyone who can read, that is. Can you read?”
The man went on, “Dr. Harshaw, I am a police officer and I require your cooperation. What is your reason—”
“Pooh to you, sir! I am a lawyer. A private citizen is required to cooperate with the police under certain specified conditions only. For example, during hot pursuit—in which case the police officer may still be required to show his credentials. Is this ‘hot pursuit,’ sir? Are you about to dive through this blasted instrument? Second, a private citizen may be required to cooperate within reasonable and lawful limits in the course of police investigation—”
“This is an investigation.”
“Of what, sir? Before you may require my cooperation in an investigation, you must identify yourself, satisfy me as to your bona-fides, state your purpose, and—if I so require—cite the code and show that a ‘reasonable necessity’ exists. You have done none of these. I wish to speak to Mr. Berquist.”