Stranger in a Strange Land(74)

By: Robert A. Heinlein



In consequence he felt honestly aggrieved that circumstances had forced on him a necessity for hurry and would not admit that he was enjoying himself more than he had in years.

This morning he found it needful to speak to the third planet’s chief executive. He was fully aware of the flapper system that made such contact with the head of government all but impossible for the ordinary citizen, even though Harshaw himself disdained to surround himself with buffers suitable to his own rank—Harshaw answered his telephone himself if he happened to be at hand when it signalled because each call offered good odds that he would be justified in being gratifyingly rude to some stranger for daring to invade his privacy without cause—“cause” by Harshaw’s definition, not by the stranger’s.

Jubal knew that he could not hope to find the same conditions obtaining at the Executive Palace; Mr. Secretary General would not answer his own phone. But Harshaw had many years of practice in the art of outwitting human customs; he tackled the matter cheerfully, right after breakfast.

Much later he was tired and very frustrated. His name alone had carried him past three layers of the official flapper defense, and he was sufficiently a narrow-gauge V.I.P. that he was never quite switched off. Instead he was referred from secretary to secretary and wound up speaking voice-&-vision to a personable, urbane young man who seemed willing to discuss the matter endlessly and without visible irritation no matter what Harshaw said—but would not agree to connect him with the Honorable Mr. Douglas.

Harshaw knew that he would get action if he mentioned the Man from Mars and that he certainly would get very quick action if he claimed to have the Man from Mars with him, but he was far from certain that the resultant action would be a face-to-face hookup with Douglas. On the contrary, he calculated that any mention of Smith would kill any chance of reaching Douglas but would at once produce violent reaction from subordinates—which was not what he wanted. He knew from a lifetime of experience that it was always easier to dicker with the top man. With Ben Caxton’s life very possibly at stake Harshaw could not risk failure through a subordinate’s lack of authority or excess of ambition.

But this soft brush-off was trying his patience. Finally he snarled, “Young man, if you have no authority yourself, let me speak to someone who has! Put me through to Mr. Berquist.”

The face of the staff stooge suddenly lost its smile and Jubal thought gleefully that he had at last pinked him in the quick. So he pushed his advantage. “Well? Don’t just sit there! Get Gil on your inside line and tell him you’ve been keeping Jubal Harshaw waiting. Tell him how long you’ve kept me waiting.” Jubal reviewed in his own excellent memory all that Witness Cavendish had reported concerning the missing Berquist, plus the report on him from the detective service. Yup, he thought happily, this lad is at least three rungs down the ladder from where Berquist was—so let’s shake him up a little . . . and climb a couple of rungs in the process.

The face said woodenly, “We have no Mr. Berquist here.”

“I don’t care where he is. Get him! If you don’t know Gil Berquist personally, ask your boss. Mr. Gilbert Berquist, personal assistant to Mr. Douglas. If you’ve been around the Palace more than two weeks you’ve at least seen Mr. Berquist at a distance—thirty-five years old, about six feet and a hundred and eighty pounds, sandy hair a little thin on top, smiles a lot and has perfect teeth. You’ve seen him. If you don’t dare disturb him yourself, dump it in your boss’s lap. But quit biting your nails and do something. I’m getting annoyed.”

Without expression the young man said, “Please hold on. I will enquire.”

“I certainly will hold on. Get me Gil.” The image in the phone was replaced by a moving abstract pattern; a pleasant female voice recorded, said, “Please wait while your call is completed. This delay is not being charged to your account. Please relax while—” Soothing music came up and covered the voice; Jubal sat back and looked around. Anne was waiting, reading, and safely out of the telephone’s vision angle. On his other side the Man from Mars was also out of the telephone’s sight pickup and was watching images in stereovision and listening via ear plugs.

Jubal reflected that he must remember to have that obscene babble box placed in the basement where it belonged, once this emergency was over. “What you got, son?” he asked, leaned over and turned on the speaker to low gain.

Mike answered, “I don’t know, Jubal.”

The sound confirmed what Jubal had suspected from his glance at the image: Smith was listening to a broadcast of a Fosterite service. The imaged Shepherd was not preaching but seemed to be reading church notices: “—junior Spirit-in-Action team will give a practice demonstration before the supper, so come early and see the fur fly! Our team coach, Brother Hornsby, has asked me to tell you boys on the team to fetch only your helmets, gloves, and sticks—we aren’t going after sinners this time. However, the Little Cherubim will be on hand with their first-aid kits in case of excessive zeal.” The Shepherd paused and smiled broadly, “And now wonderful news, My Children! A message from the Angel Ramzai for Brother Arthur Renwick and his good wife Dorothy. Your prayer has been approved and you will go to heaven at dawn Thursday morning! Stand up, Art! Stand up, Dottie! Take a bow!”