Stranger in a Strange Land(229)
By: Robert A. Heinlein“Umph. Dawn, you are the Dawn Ardent I met at Foster Tabernacle about two and half years ago, aren’t you?”
“Oh, you remember!!” She looked as if he had handed her a lollipop.
“Of course I remember. But I was slightly puzzled. You’ve changed some. All for the better. You seem much more beautiful.”
“That’s because I am more beautiful,” she said simply. “You mistook me for Gillian. And she is more beautiful, too.”
“Where is that child? I haven’t seen her . . . and I expected to see her at once.”
“She’s been working.” Dawn paused. “But I told her and she says she’s coming in.” She paused again. “And I am to take her place. If you will excuse me.”
“Oh, certainly. Run along, child.”
“There’s no hurry.” But she did get up and leave almost at once as Dr. Mahmoud sat down.
Jubal looked at him sourly. “You might at least have had the common courtesy to let me know that you were in this country instead of letting me meet my goddaughter for the first time through the good offices of a snake.”
“Oh, Jubal, you’re always in such a bloody hurry.”
“Sir, when one is of—” Jubal was interrupted by two hands placed over his eyes from behind. A well-remembered voice demanded:
“Guess who?”
“Beelzebub?”
“Try again.”
“Lady Macbeth?”
“Much closer. Third guess, or a forfeit.”
“Gillian, stop that and come around here and sit beside me.”
“Yes, Father.” She obeyed.
“And knock off calling me ‘Father’ anywhere but home. Sir, I was saying that when one is of my age, one is necessarily in a hurry about some things. Each sunrise is a precious jewel . . . for it may never be followed by its sunset. The world may end at any moment.”
Mahmoud smiled at him. “Jubal, are you under the impression that if you stop cranking, the world stops going around?”
“Most certainly, sir—from my viewpoint.” Miriam joined them silently, sat down on Jubal’s free side; he put an arm around her. “While I might not be honing to see your ugly face again . . . nor even to gaze on the somewhat more acceptable one of my former secretary—”
Miriam whispered, “Boss, are you honing for a kick in the stomach? I’m exquisitely beautiful; I have it on highest authority.”
“Quiet.—new goddaughters are in another category. Through your failure to drop me so much as a postcard, I might have missed seeing Fatima Michele. In which case I would have returned to haunt you.”
“In which case,” Miriam pointed out, “you could take a look at Micky at the same time . . . rubbing strained carrots in her hair. A disgusting sight.”
“I was speaking metaphorically.”
“I wasn’t. She’s a sloppy trencherman.”
“Why,” asked Jill quietly, “were you speaking metaphorically, Boss?”
“Eh? The concept ‘ghost’ is one I feel no need for, other than as a figure of speech.”
“It’s more than a figure of speech,” insisted Jill.
“Uh . . . as may be. I prefer to meet baby girls in the flesh, including my own.”
Dr. Mahmoud said, “But that is what I was saying, Jubal. You aren’t about to die; you aren’t even close to it. Mike has grokked you to be certain. He says you have a long stretch of years ahead of you.”
Jubal shook his head. “I set a top limit of three figures years ago. No more.”
“Which three figures, Boss?” Miriam inquired innocently. “The three Methuselah used?”
He shook her shoulders. “Don’t be obscene!”
“Stinky says women should be obscene but not heard.”
“Your husband speaks rightly. So pipe down. The day my machine first shows three figures on its mileage meter is the day I discorporate, whether Martian style or by my own crude methods. You can’t take that away from me. Going to the showers is the best part of the game.”
“I grok you speak rightly, Jubal,” Jill said slowly, “about its being the best part of the game. But I wouldn’t count on it any time soon. Your fullness is not yet. Allie cast a horoscope on you just last week.”
“A horoscope? Oh, my God! Who is ‘Allie?’ And how dare she cast a horoscope on me! Show her to me! Swelp me, I’ll turn her in to the Better Business Bureau.”
“I’m afraid you can’t, Jubal,” Mahmoud put in, “just now, as she is working on our dictionary. As to who she is, she’s Madame Alexandra Vesant.”
Jubal sat up and looked pleased. “Becky? Is she in this nut house, too? I should have known it. Where is she?”