Straddling the Line(61)

She fled the kitchen and grabbed the car keys Trevor had left on the table by the front door. Without thinking, she got in the car and backed down the driveway, knowing only that she had to get out of there, had to get away from her house and her mother and everything that just wasn’t the same anymore.

Not only was Dad not there, leaving a gaping hole in her life, but now her mother was this completely different person.

Did everything have to change? Everyone?

She had to go see her dad and try to make sense of all of this.

TREVOR COULDN’T BELIEVE THE WORDS THAT HAD spilled out of Haven’s mouth. She was always so sweet, so sensitive to everyone around her, especially her mother.

But she’d just cut down her mom, and in the cruelest way possible.

“Miss Ginger. I’m sorry. You have to know she didn’t mean it.”

Tears welled in Ginger’s eyes. “Oh, honey. I know she didn’t. This past year has been so hard for her. She was so close to Bill and losing him devastated her. God, it devastated me. I could barely function the first couple of months after he was gone. I don’t know what I would have done without Haven, without my friends and family. But Haven, she pulled it all inside and wanted me to think she was fine. She felt she had to be the strong one for me when I knew deep down inside she wasn’t all right. That’s why I called you.”

“I’m glad you did. But I thought she was coming out of it, that she was through the worst of it.”

Ginger nodded. “I think she wanted to walk into her house and see that nothing had changed. It’s bad enough her daddy isn’t here anymore. And now everything else is different, including me.”

Trevor felt the need to defend Ginger. “You have a right to move on with your life.”

“I know that, and you know that. But I don’t think she understands just yet that Bill is, was, and always will be the great love of my life. And whether my weight or my occupation changes, how I feel about him never will.”

She pushed back from the chair. “I need to go talk to her.”

Trevor stood. “I’ll go with you.”

She laid her hand on his chest. “No, honey. This one I have to do alone. I’ll bring her back with me.”

Trevor watched Ginger grab her keys and walk out the door, wishing there was something he could do to help.

But Ginger was probably right. This conversation had to be between mother and daughter. And he couldn’t intervene.

He’d never felt more helpless.





TWENTY-TWO





HAVEN SAT ON THE CEMENT BENCH THEY’D ERECTED in front of her father’s grave, staring at the headstone marked with his name, his dates of birth and death, and the words Husband, Father, Friend To So Many etched on his tombstone.

She swiped at the tears, knowing how her dad would tell her not to cry over him.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I know you’d be mad at me for the things I said to Mom. But it’s like she’s forgotten you. She’s got this whole new life now. It’s like she’s moved on, and I can’t seem to do that. I guess I’m not as strong. I need your help.”

She shuddered as she inhaled, wishing like anything she could feel her dad’s big strong arms around her right now. Just one more time.

“Remember when we’d sit in the living room and watch football together? Remember the popcorn fights? Mom would get so mad at us about that.”

“That’s because I’d have to do all the vacuuming, and a week later I’d still find popcorn kernels.”

She half turned to find her mother standing just behind her. She came and sat on the bench next to her.

“I’m sorry for what I said to you. It was rude and unforgivable,” Haven said.

Her mother put her arm around her. “You have no need to apologize. You were always taught to say what was on your mind.”

“Not like that. It was disrespectful. Please forgive me.”

“You’re forgiven. I know what I’m doing must seem to you like I’ve moved on from your father, when nothing could be further from the truth, Haven.” Her mother stared at the headstone, and Haven saw tears shimmer in her eyes. “God, I loved that man with all my heart and soul. There will never be a love in my life like him. He was the first, the last, and everything to me.”

Haven sniffled, and then she realized that her mother had buried the love of her life. It had been utterly and completely cruel of her to throw those words at her mother. Haven had lost her father, but her mother had lost the man she had loved for more than thirty-three years. She took her mother’s hand and squeezed it.

“But your father made me promise that I wouldn’t stop living, that I’d continue to follow my dreams. And I did promise him that. When the school told me about the dorm parent situation, I figured I’d make good on that promise and go back to school—back to teaching again. I’d gotten a little complacent. And if I sit in that house and wallow about losing your father, I’ll lose myself as well, Haven. I can’t do that. I have to keep living. Not just for you, but for myself. And for your dad.”