Star Struck(BBW Rocker Romance)(57)

Vernon grinned as if to ask if there was any doubt. “Be my guest. There’ll be enough privacy since the hotel kindly closed the bar out for as long as Ethan is in there. So it’s just him.”

Mandy gulped inwardly. She’d have liked to have at least a few people around. Not that she didn’t feel safe alone with Ethan; she just couldn’t be sure of his reaction. Maybe it was better this way since no one would witness her getting cut down in case Ethan ended up not being thrilled by her appearance.

She smiled and nodded to Vernon, who held the doors open. She drew in a bracing breath and walked in.

There was just one bartender serving Ethan, who was seated in profile. He was dressed the same as he had been on stage, wearing one of The Strum’s stylish leather coats and nothing else but his snug black jeans and boots. He heard the door open and turned to find her standing there. Did he give a slight start? She’d never be able to tell because he recovered so quickly. He looked away almost immediately. Just as the man behind the bar began to pour him another glass of scotch, Ethan took the bottle then told the guy he could leave.

The bartender didn’t argue. He just sent Mandy a brief glance before striding past her and closing the door after him.

Hesitating for a brief moment, Mandy walked closer to where Ethan sat. There weren’t any stools around him so she simply stood next to him. He didn’t glance her way again but took a swig straight from the bottle. “How did you know where to...? Jaime,” he said in realization before Mandy could answer his unfinished question.

“Yes, Jaime was the one who told me where to find you,” she said quietly.

At that, Ethan turned on his bar stool to face her. “Then maybe you can go back and tell him I already have a minder for tonight. So if he sent you here on babysitting duty…”

“No one sent me on anything,” she said, keeping her tone easy, deep. “I came here to say I’m sorry.”

“Then you should have just sent a text,” he told her bluntly. He was about to lift the bottle to his lips, but she placed a hand on his arm to stop him.

“Don’t, Ethan,” she said as she looked into his eyes.

“I don’t want you here,” he said calmly, his gaze so direct it cut through her like a laser. “You need to go.”

“I can’t,” she breathed, biting on her bottom lip.

“I guess you’re here for your pound of flesh,” he said before dramatically rolling up one sleeve, baring one muscular, inked arm. “Go on. Take whatever piece of me you want. Because there’s nothing else left inside anyway. You might as well have the shell too.”

“Oh Ethan.”

He turned rapidly away as if to block out the anguish in her voice and shoved his hand through his hair. “You made it impossible for me to stay in my own home. Every room in that place reminds me of you. Of that first night we spent together. And then the other house…your perfume still lingers in that dressing room. Fucking haunting me anywhere I go.”

He knocked over the empty glass with an angry brush of his hand. “I even had Zuriel stop wearing that scent whenever she was around me. I hated anything that reminded me of you.”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. She would say it all night if she had to. All she wanted was to be near him, to soak up his presence and feed the emptiness that had been growing within her.

Ethan was staring at his clenched fists, side by side on the edge of the counter.

“I never told you about Zuriel,” he began in a toneless voice. “Or the part she played in my life all those years ago. I had this new family, great friends, and the chance to live my dream. I was young and far more restless than I am now. Me and her…it was major mind-fuck crazy till I could get out of it. I don’t know if I loved her, but by the time it was over I was sure I would never go back. And I didn’t. Even in the past few months, with the whole public romance…it was all staged.”

“I think in my heart I always believed that,” Mandy said, her voice low. She itched to place her hands over his clenched fists, gently spread out each digit, and then lace them with hers.

“Zuriel’s not an evil person,” Ethan said calmly, and Mandy tried to keep a straight face even as she wanted to vehemently deny Ethan’s statement. “Lord only knows what battles she fights, too. We all have a little bit of damage in us, but then when I found out what she said to you…”

Mandy started and found herself asking in surprise, “How did you…?”

“She confessed,” he told her, barely glancing her way. “It was just two days ago. She’s been pushing me for weeks to announce our fake engagement – suggesting we should elope before the world tour began and then perform as a married couple. Some crazy shit like that. I told her no way; I’d done enough of play-acting for a lifetime. And I only did it so that I could prove to her once and for all that there could never be anything between us, not anymore. It was never going to be real, and I demonstrated that when I told her I’d already decided to break the news of our split to the gossip rags before we went on tour. Even Davey thought it would be a good idea. The publicity for the tour would become even more massive with the intrigue from the break-up and us having to perform together in spite of it. A real crowd puller, he said. Like we didn’t already have sold-out venues and even more dates added on just to meet the demand for extra ticket sales.”