Soul Mates 04: Secrets(57)

He watched me and finally reached out and grabbed my hand. "Quit stalling."



"I'm not stalling. I'm just&" Yes, I was. I didn't want to do this. "I have no idea where to start."



"The beginning works pretty good."



"Normally, I'd agree, but I don't think so this time." I sat beside him and crossed my legs in front of me. "Here goes. A lot of this has to do with Simon."



"Simon?"



I nodded.



Fuck, this was so hard.



"We know he's an angel and that he was stripped of his wings because he caused someone's death, right?"



"Correct."



"He and I had a talk not too long ago. He told me that he'd been a Watcher and that he'd gotten too emotionally involved with one of his charges." Lucien seemed confused but interested. "He told me who it was he was watching over."



"Someone we know?" Lucien asked.



"More like someone you know." He shook his head and I sighed. "It was Lukas."



He was silent for a long while and I could just see the wheels turning in his mind as he tried to figure everything out. Finally, he looked away and I took his hand.



He shook his head, but didn't look at me. "Are you saying what I think you are saying? That he killed me to save Lukas?"



"In a way&yeah." I turned his head so he'd have to look at me. "He redirected the sword away from Lukas, but it hit you instead. He was so torn. They weren't supposed to interfere."



"With good reason," Lucien snapped. He sighed and shook his head. "So all of this time he's been serving me it's been out of what? Guilt?"



"He's been serving you because he loves you. I think the guilt of what he's done has been with him for so long that it's been slowly killing him inside. Lucien, I know this is a lot to take in, but please, don't do anything now to him that you might regret later."



"Oh, Peter. I'm not going to do anything to him. This is&a lot to take in, you are right in that. The truth is, I was happy to become as I am. It was one of the best things that happened to me, and we wouldn't be here today if it hadn't. I just wish Simon had felt that he could be honest with me."



"Secrets hurt," I said softly. "And we've been carrying our own for a while now."



"I want to talk to Simon about this. Get it out in the open and let him know that I do love him. And that I am okay with what he's done. I do not want for him to have to carry the burden of guilt any longer."



I blew out a long, low whistle. "And that brings us to my next secret."



"How many do you have?"



"Three."



"Oh, dear."



"Um. When Simon and I talked, I felt him out about whether he might want his wings back. If it was possible, I mean. He was very adamant that I leave things alone and."



"But you didn't?"



I shook my head. "I'd already asked Daniel to put me in touch with one of Simon's old commanders who goes by the name of Zephyr."



"Daniel? From the Council?"



I nodded.



"Oh, Peter."



"I wagered fifty years just to get the meeting with Zephyr." I watched a mix of emotions play over Lucien's face, but I couldn't pinpoint what he was feeling. "I was going to take the position anyway, but I worked this around to my advantage."



"Good for you."



"Good? I thought you'd be furious."



"No. We talked about this position on the Council, and I said that I would support you whether you accepted it or not. Just, next time, maybe run your plans by me or Logan. Politics are difficult in this world. Things need to be phrased just right or you could end up in a very bad position." He moved his fingertips across my brow. "There's something else. What is it, lover?"



"Nikolas and I went for a run earlier and Zephyr showed up." I swallowed hard, my stomach starting to knot. "He said that Simon had been granted a hearing."



"That's good, isn't it? What you wanted?"



"Sort of," I said. "What I didn't know, was that if he's judged unworthy? He'll be stripped of the rest of his powers and will 'live as a mortal man'&whatever that means."



"Oh, Peter."



He pulled me into his arms and I broke down.



"What have I done, Lucien? Either way, he's going to be pissed. What if I've just managed to take away all that was left of him as an angel? I know he wanted his wings back. I could hear it in his voice, could see it on his face."



"We will have to tell him what he's about to face," Lucien said gently. "But not tonight. Give me a day or so to look into it and see if there's anything I can do."